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2020.07.16 18:08 katemcc231996 The salon I work at is real haunted

Okay so I've worked at this salon for about a year now. I started last June as a receptionist while I was still going to hair school. To give you an idea of the building, its four separate leases in a fairly old building. The main floor is the store, then behind the reception desk in the store there are stairs that go down to the salon. You go all the way through the salon and you find a cement staircase going up to the top floors, there's a clothing store that's unrelated on the second floor and on the third floor is the spa aswell as the corporate office space we use and the staff lounge area. For the first few months I worked there, I never really experienced anything.
So this girl, I used to work with, she quit several months back unrelated to this. But she was telling me some of the shit that goes on specifically in the spa. This is the first wif of anything, I've ever heard regarding spooky shit at my work. So there was a new girl starting and she was opening the spa, you enter the spa through the back cement staircase and the front door the guests enter through is locked from the inside. So this girl is opening the tills and suddenly she turns and theres a slender pale woman standing there in a red swooping sun hat. She is obviously confused because the front is still locked.. but she looks at the computer screen to see if there's an appointment booked super early and as she's asking the woman what she is here for, she looks back up from the screen. And the red hat woman is GONE. The new girl apparently never came back after that shift. So apparently there is a spa ghost that many people have seen, heard and felt. She wears a red hat.
Since starting I've also began working in the spa. The spa is honestly really old, its also two floors so there is a metal spiral staircase that you can see from the reception desk that goes down to the pedi stations and waxing rooms etc. I often have heard footsteps coming up the stairs only to have noone arrive at the top. The reception desk is also behind a wall so when youre walking to the front from the back rooms you cannot see anything. The spa is not super well renovated so sound carries A LOT. I've also often heard clicks on the keyboard and mouse then rounded the corner and noone is at the desk. Tbh the spa lady seems real chill, I think she's just stuck. She doesn't have a negative presence... none the less she still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. 👀
Now let's move our focus down to the store. I usually work with my coworkehomie and its a common thing for us to be standing behind the desk chatting to one another and we will hear a single footstep behind us on the stairs and you look behind you and noone is there. Honestly just a lot of unexplained noises go on behind us in the staircase.. super unsettling right?
ENTER COVID-19. We were closed for more than 3 months which is the longest the salon/spa has been closed since opening over 30 years ago. We reopened from the virus on May 26th. Before we were actually open all the reception team had to come in to go back through the books and call all the guests that missed appointments due to our closure. So I worked two shifts of calling people back, on the second shift... CHILE.
I was working with my manager and this guy Ben aswell. So anyways we had the salon open while we were in the store because it has the only washroom. So at one point he went downstairs to get something from the printer, I heard something behind me in the stairwell so I turned around thinking he needed a pen or something. At the same time the phone rang. So I wiped around for like 2 seconds then the phone rang so I wiped back around but my manager already picked up the phone. I turned back around to see what he needed and to my astonishment he was way down in the salon at the printer. This confused the fuck out of me because I was sure I saw his face directly behind me. For the rest of my shift I shoved all thoughts of it out of my head.
When I got home that evening, the thoughts of what I saw kept coming back. And finally I came to the conclusion I absolutely did not see Ben's face, he is quite pale and blonde. The man's face I saw was dark, all over just dark. So I drew his face. Needless to say its the scariest thing I've ever drawn. I'm gonna try and post the photo is the comments below.
Anyways over the next few days as the salon opens, word traveled real quick of what I saw and what I drew. Until the salon manager comes up to me and starts telling a truly awful story of the son of the architect who had constructed the building. His name was Ryan Jenkins of Calgary, Alberta. His dad the architect was Dan Jenkins of Calgary, Alberta. Now if you wanna fact check me go and Google his name. Anyways tyrns out Ryan had committed a horrific murder in 2009. He had married this woman in California and through a series of events he murdered this woman, and mutilated her body in an effort to have the body unidentifiable. The T is she was identified by her breast implant serial numbers. Anyways so he actually wound up committing suicide the same week he killed her in Hope, British Columbia, in a motel, after he had fled across the border back to Canada.
The motel manager who had found him hanging in his room described it as looking into the devils eyes, and that he would never forget that face.
The salon manager tells me this story and tells me to look him up. To see if I drew his face. I Google his name and I IMMEDIATELY exited the tab. That was the mfing face that I saw. I SWEAR TO GOD.
So the following shift that I go in I'm chanting this in my head that I'm not scared that I'm strong and you can't touch me. I worked alone that day and I heard many unpleasant things behind me, including a hand slapping the security gate that hangs a little low between the salon and the desk. At the end of the night though I mustered up the courage to say goodnight as I was leaving and I heard three LOUD distinct footsteps coming up the stairs and girl I rAN out the door.
Since then my homie/coworker and I have had the printer printing random computer mumbo jumbo that it does often, like random things like hearts and filled in smiley faces and card suits like spades. We often have wondered if its someone trying to communicate. One day we got so many oc the weird computer speak print outs and on one page. All in caps. One word. It just read HELP.
So yeah, my work is super haunted I saw a murderers face in the stair well, for some reason he's decided this is a great place to reside since his pasing. And yeah. Super duper cool 🤙🏽
Edit* There are actual photos of him in front of the building back in 1990. His dads architecture firm used to reside in the office space that we now also rent.
Edit* I didn't even get into what goes on in the staff room on the top floor. Several people have been up in the staff room after the alarm has been set, over in the office spaces. They've heard doors slamming, voices, light switches clicking and one girl even has heard whistling. I have also experienced something up there where we made it mad. Tbh looking back this was very foolish of us but it was a slow day in the spa and a girl I work with brought tarot cards. I think we stirred up some shit up there, because at the end if the day we are in the staff room chatting. From the hallway, I just heard a plastic container go flying and smack into a wall. Sounded like someone through it hard. Needless to say we ran.
I can't post my photos here but if you check out my page I posted them there.
submitted by katemcc231996 to Paranormal [link] [comments]


2020.07.16 04:54 katemcc231996 The salon I work at is truly terrifying

Okay so I've worked at this salon for about a year now. I started last June as a receptionist while I was still going to hair school. To give you an idea of the building, its four separate leases in a fairly old building. The main floor is the store, then behind the reception desk in the store there are stairs that go down to the salon. You go all the way through the salon and you find a cement staircase going up to the top floors, there's a clothing store that's unrelated on the second floor and on the third floor is the spa aswell as the corporate office space we use and the staff lounge area. For the first few months I worked there, I never really experienced anything.
So this girl, I used to work with, she quit several months back unrelated to this. But she was telling me some of the shit that goes on specifically in the spa. This is the first wif of anything, I've ever heard regarding spooky shit at my work. So there was a new girl starting and she was opening the spa, you enter the spa through the back cement staircase and the front door the guests enter through is locked from the inside. So this girl is opening the tills and suddenly she turns and theres a slender pale woman standing there in a red swooping sun hat. She is obviously confused because the front is still locked.. but she looks at the computer screen to see if there's an appointment booked super early and as she's asking the woman what she is here for, she looks back up from the screen. And the red hat woman is GONE. The new girl apparently never came back after that shift. So apparently there is a spa ghost that many people have seen, heard and felt. She wears a red hat.
Since starting I've also began working in the spa. The spa is honestly really old, its also two floors so there is a metal spiral staircase that you can see from the reception desk that goes down to the pedi stations and waxing rooms etc. I often have heard footsteps coming up the stairs only to have noone arrive at the top. The reception desk is also behind a wall so when youre walking to the front from the back rooms you cannot see anything. The spa is not super well renovated so sound carries A LOT. I've also often heard clicks on the keyboard and mouse then rounded the corner and noone is at the desk. Tbh the spa lady seems real chill, I think she's just stuck. She doesn't have a negative presence... none the less she still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. 👀
Now let's move our focus down to the store. I usually work with my coworkehomie and its a common thing for us to be standing behind the desk chatting to one another and we will hear a single footstep behind us on the stairs and you look behind you and noone is there. Honestly just a lot of unexplained noises go on behind us in the staircase.. super unsettling right?
ENTER COVID-19. We were closed for more than 3 months which is the longest the salon/spa has been closed since opening over 30 years ago. We reopened from the virus on May 26th. Before we were actually open all the reception team had to come in to go back through the books and call all the guests that missed appointments due to our closure. So I worked two shifts of calling people back, on the second shift... CHILE.
I was working with my manager and this other guy aswell. So anyways we had the salon open while we were in the store because it has the only washroom. So at one point he went downstairs to get something from the printer, I heard something behind me in the stairwell so I turned around thinking he needed a pen or something. At the same time the phone rang. So I wiped around for like 2 seconds then the phone rang so I wiped back around but my manager already picked up the phone. I turned back around to see what he needed and to my astonishment he was way down in the salon at the printer. This confused the fuck out of me because I was sure I saw his face directly behind me. For the rest of my shift I shoved all thoughts of it out of my head.
When I got home that evening, the thoughts of what I saw kept coming back. And finally I came to the conclusion I absolutely did not see my coworker's face, he is quite pale and blonde. The man's face I saw was dark, all over just dark. So I drew his face. Needless to say its the scariest thing I've ever drawn. I've attached the photos to my page.
Anyways over the next few days as the salon opens, word traveled real quick of what I saw and what I drew. Until the salon manager comes up to me and starts telling a truly awful story of the son of the architect who had constructed the building. His name was Ryan Jenkins of Calgary, Alberta. His dad the architect was Dan Jenkins of Calgary, Alberta. Now if you wanna fact check me go and Google his name. Anyways tyrns out Ryan had committed a horrific murder in 2009. He had married this woman in California and through a series of events he murdered this woman, and mutilated her body in an effort to have the body unidentifiable. The T is she was identified by her breast implant serial numbers. Anyways so he actually wound up committing suicide the same week he killed her in Hope, British Columbia, in a motel, after he had fled across the border back to Canada.
The motel manager who had found him hanging in his room described it as looking into the devils eyes, and that he would never forget that face.
The salon manager tells me this story and tells me to look him up. To see if I drew his face. I Google his name and I IMMEDIATELY exited the tab. That was the mfing face that I saw. I SWEAR TO GOD.
So the following shift that I go in I'm chanting this in my head that I'm not scared that I'm strong and you can't touch me. I worked alone that day and I heard many unpleasant things behind me, including a hand slapping the security gate that hangs a little low between the salon and the desk. At the end of the night though I mustered up the courage to say goodnight as I was leaving and I heard three LOUD distinct footsteps coming up the stairs and girl I rAN out the door.
Since then my homie/coworker and I have had the printer printing random computer mumbo jumbo that it does often, like random things like hearts and filled in smiley faces and card suits like spades. We often have wondered if its someone trying to communicate. One day we got so many oc the weird computer speak print outs and on one page. All in caps. One word. It just read HELP.
So yeah, my work is super haunted I saw a murderers face in the stair well, for some reason he's decided this is a great place to reside since his pasing. And yeah. Super duper cool 🤙🏽
Edit* There are actual photos of him in front of the building back in 1990. His dads architecture firm used to reside in the office space that we now also rent.
Edit* I didn't even get into what goes on in the staff room on the top floor. Several people have been up in the staff room after the alarm has been set, over in the office spaces. They've heard doors slamming, voices, light switches clicking and one girl even has heard whistling. I have also experienced something up there where we made it mad. Tbh looking back this was very foolish of us but it was a slow day in the spa and a girl I work with brought tarot cards. I think we stirred up some shit up there, because at the end if the day we are in the staff room chatting. From the hallway, I just heard a plastic container go flying and smack into a wall. Sounded like someone threw it hard. Needless to say we ran.
Edit* The other night after work my friend/coworker and I were grabbing a drink across the street from my work at a rooftop patio. We finished work at like 10pm. The sunset was really beautiful so we were looking in the direction of work/the sunset and we just see a hallway light go on, on the top floor. No other offices or other hallway lights came on, it also stayed on until we payed our bill. I wonder if something knew we were looking in that direction.
I made a separate post for the photos, or you can click my profile
submitted by katemcc231996 to Ghoststories [link] [comments]


2020.06.05 19:30 AquaGorrila_Man Ongoing Brand Warfare Series: CPW: Friday Night Fight: June 5th

I have started a Brand Warfare series with u/Tomi5196 & u/Bestevr34. This is the first episode of my weekly show Friday Night Fight which is part of my company, Canadien Pride Wrestling. If you want more information like my rosters & titles click here. Okay, now let's get to the show.
FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHT
Friday Night Fight comes on the air as Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Bret Hart stand in the ring and the Hitman says "Hello, Everyone! I'm Bret "The Hitman" Hart and here with me tonight are my broadcast partners, Tony Schiavone & Jim Ross and this is the first-ever episode of Friday Night Fight right here in my hometown Calgary, Alberta. And let me tell you something. Tonight you guys are in for one of the best shows you have ever watched in your lives. We have some world-class matches tonight isn't that right Tony."
Tony Schiavone then starts to talk "That is correct Bret because in just a few moments we will kick-off the first-ever Friday Night Fight with some tag team action between Santana & Ortiz of the Inner Circle and The Baddest Team on the Planet, Jimmy Havoc & Kip Sabian. And this really is a match of factions as Santana & Ortiz will have Jake Hager, Sammy Guevera & Chris Jericho at ringside while Sabian & Havoc have Penelope Ford and the Bad Boy, Joey Janela in their corner. This match will not only be the first-ever Friday Night Fight Match & the first-ever CPW Match but it will also kick-off the 16 Team tournament to crown the first-ever CPW Tag Team Champions."
Schivone then continues "And then later on in the night, we will have the first-ever Women's match here in CPW when Awesome Kong clashes with Doctor Britt Baker DMD to start the CPW Women's Championship Tournament. Furthermore in our main-event tonight Kenny Omega faces off against Jimmy Havoc in the first-round action of the CPW Championship Tournament. Also of note in that match is that Havoc has a match in just a few moments so he is pulling double duty tonight. And J.R I know there is a match of special interest to you that you wanted to talk about so let's hear it."
JR then says "Yes, thank you, Tony. The match I wanted to talk to you about was Will Ospreay taking on Baron Corbin in the first round of the CPW Championship Tournament. I wanted to talk to you about this match because I have been watching the tapes and my god, Will Ospreay is one hell of a high flyer. He is clearly one of the best in the business and I can't wait to see him take on a good ol' fashioned brawler like Baron Corbin."
The Hitman then says "We have a few things we want to tell you guys before we begin tonight's show. First, here in CPW, we will be keeping track of each of our wrestler's records because we believe each match needs to matter! Next, we have decided to be an extreme brand! Meaning that during every single match weapons and other foreign objects will be allowed. That doesn't mean we don't have rules though. In normal matches, there will still be DQ's but that will be for dirty moves like low blows or for an attack from someone who is not in the match. Okay, now let's get to the in-ring action as Sabian & Havoc vs Proud N' Powerful is happening right now!"

The Inner Circle(Santana & Ortiz) (0-0) vs The Baddest Team on the Planet(Jimmy Havoc & Kip Sabian) (0-0) in the first round of the CPW Tag Team Tournament
Key Moments:
- Proud N' Powerful control the start of the match, isolating Havoc and using constant tags to wear him down.
- Sabian hits a running Spaceman Plancha taking out 4 of the Inner Circle Members and while the ref is distracted Jimmy Havoc gets whipped off the apron headfirst into the barricade by Jake Hager and then Joey Janela takes out Hager with a Moonsault from the top rope.
- Sabian is hit by a Judas Effect by Chris Jericho on the outside when the ref isn't looking. This leads to Sabian nearly being pinned when he is sent back in the ring about 20 seconds later but he kicks out at 2.
- Sabian rallies from a beat-down with a ton of kicks followed by a Springboard Knee Strike and then he tags out to Havoc.
- Jimmy Havoc is taken out on the outside when Santana & Ortiz toss Havoc into a ring post and then they lay Havoc out on the Steel Step and then they stomp Havoc's chest down into the Steel Step.
- Kip Sabian hits a Shooting Star Press on Ortiz through a table that he set up but when he covers Ortiz, Santana breaks up the pin at 2.
- Proud N' Powerful hit a Double Suplex on Havoc sending him through an Announce Table.
- Havoc fights off both members of Proud N' Powerful at the top of the ramp and then he tosses Ortiz off the top of the ramp down into the soundbox area below.
- Havoc then fights Santana as they climb up to the top of the tunnel which the people use to enter the arena from backstage. When they are on top of the tunnel until Havoc hits a Tombstone Piledriver on top of the tunnel on Santana.
- Havoc then jumps from the top of the tunnel down 9 feet into the sound area for a splash on Ortiz but he dodges and Havoc lands kind of funny on his knee.
- Havoc is Powerbombed onto the Barricade by Santana
- Both members of both teams are bloody & battered
- Joey Janela tries to get involved again to stop a pinfall but he is taken out when Hager hits the Hager Bomb on him onto the concrete floor
- Sammy Guevara is a spot-machine throughout the match getting blasted by Havoc, Sabian & Janela throughout the match whenever he tries to get involved in the match.
- Sammy gets Frankensteiner'ed over the top rope by Sabin sending him headfirst onto the Golf Cart that Hager drove out when making his entrance.
- Havoc's knee injury weakens him throughout the whole match and it gets worse when Havoc jumps from the apron with a Moonsault but Santana & Ortiz avoid causing Havoc to land real awkward on his knee.
- Havoc is dominated for the rest of the match as he can barely even stand and Santana & Ortiz use every chance they have to injure his knee more. Havoc also gets a ton of cheap shots to the knee by the rest of the Inner Circle.
- Kip Sabian gets hit with the Street Sweeper from Proud N' Powerful through a Ladder Bridge but Jimmy Havoc just barely gets to his feet to break the pin up at 2.
- Kip Sabian hits a jumping Avadia Kadavia off the top rope down onto the ringside on Ortiz
- Santana & Ortiz go for another Street Sweeper on Sabian but he reverses into a Frankensteiner on Ortiz.
The Finish:
Jimmy Havoc is isolated in the ring after Santana & Ortiz hit a Street Sweeper to the outside on Sabin causing Sabin to land on the barricade as the crowd hears a huge THUD! Sabin looks basically dead after this but Havoc is the legal man so Santana & Ortiz get in the ring and execute a series of chop blocks on Jimmy Havoc's injured knee. Santana then grabs 2 Wooden Barrells and place them on the ground. Ortiz then sets a table up over the Wooden Barrells. They then together set up a Ladder Bridge over that. They then line up Havoc for a Street Sweeper through the stacked death platform they have just created but when they go to execute the Street Sweeper, Jimmy Havoc reverses by ducking out into a Back Handspring but his bad knee gives out and he falls. But since he avoided the Street Sweeper, Santana goes plummeting through the Ladder Bridge & the Table that was part of the set-up contraption they made but the Barrells do not break and Santana is left lying on them. Havoc is writhing in pain and holding his knee as Ortiz gets the injured Havoc up for a Powerbomb of some kind but Havoc reverses into the Acid Rainmaker sending Ortiz onto the fallen Santana, sending both of them through the 2 Barrells. Havoc then stumbles forward and collapses onto the 2 of them. Covering them both for the 1,2,3!

Jimmy Havoc & Kip Sabian defeat Proud N' Powerful(16:25)
Updated Records: Jimmy Havoc & Kip Sabian(1-0), Proud N' Powerful(0-1)

Backstage, we see The Rhodes Family consisting of Cody Rhodes, Dustin Rhodes, Brandi Rhodes & QT Marshall. They are with Excalibur who is interviewing them. Excalibur asks Cody "So Cody, we know that Dustin has a match with "Hangman" Adam Page tonight but you guys also have a tag team match so how will you guys handle Dustin having to pull double duty tonight."
Cody then responds "Well first off, Excalibur, I don't think you should be asking me about how Dustin is going to handle something. I think that question should be directed at him but for the record, I think Dustin has all the heart he needs so I think he can defeat Page tonight and still help me win our tag match. But this leads me to my point which is that our Family here has decided that Dustin will get a break tonight and will only have to wrestle once. This is because on the card it just says The Rhodes Family vs Andrade & Angel Garza but it does not specify who from the Rhodes Family will be in the match. So tonight when the Rhodes Family walks to that ring, Dustin will be there yes but he will not be in the match. Because tonight when we face Andrade & Angel Garza, well my tag team partner is going to be a man who is so close to us that he is part of the family, QT Marshall! So, Andrade & Angel Garza, tonight get ready to fall to the team of Cody Rhodes & QT Marshall. Because the trait that defines everyone in this family is that every one of us from Brandi to myself we bring the most heart & the most hustle to every damn match! So if you think that tonight will be any different or if you think that you have it any easier because Dustin is not in the match well guess what, don't you dare underestimate my man, QT Marshall! Because tonight, when your cocky asses walk down to that ring. We will show that all of this hype you build up for yourself, is just that, hype! And win you step into that ring. I promise you that we will bring the heart and that we will sweat, bleed and put everything on the line because we go into every match giving 200% so if you think you beat us with talent, I want to read you a quote. Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard. And while that is true, we don't even need it because not only do we work harder than you ever have but we are also more talented!"
They then begin to walk away but right before they leave, Brandi stops and she says "Oh and Zelina, if you ever want to stop hiding behind Andrade & Angel Garza and want to actually step into a ring, then I am always ready to fight. Anytime, Anywhere. Because unlike you I don't need to cower behind my man." Brandi then walks off to catch up with Cody, Dustin & QT.

Awesome Kong(0-0) vs Dr. Britt Baker DMD(0-0) in the first round of the CPW Women's Championship Tournament
Key Moments:
- The match is a typical Big vs Small Woman match as Kong uses her size to her advantage but she is no match for the quickness of Britt Baker.
- Britt Baker hits a Running Knee on Kong as she leans against the ropes sending the 2 tumbling over the ropes and through a set-up ringside table.
- Awesome Kong goes for an Awesome Bomb but Baker reverses into a Sunset Flip followed by a Shining Wizard that Kong kicks out of at 2.
The Finish:
Awesome Kong goes for the Awesome Press but Britt Baker reverses rolling Awesome Kong through and going for the Lockjaw. But before Baker can fully lock in the lockjaw, Kong uses her strength to get to her feet with Baker dangling desperately still trying to lock in the Lockjaw or some modified form of it. Kong then hits the Implant Buster for the 1,2,3.

Awesome Kong defeats Dr. Britt Baker DMD(6:09)
Updated Records: Awesome Kong(1-0) Dr. Britt Baker DMD(0-1)

Backstage, we see Jimmy Havoc holding his knee in the doctor's office as we see Kip Sabian, Penelope Ford & Joey Janela checking on him. Excalibur then turns towards the camera and says "Breaking News! Just coming in now, Jimmy Havoc will not be able to face Kenny Omega in tonight's main event which means that now there is an open hole in the tournament and we will find out later who will replace Havoc tonight. Back to you guys."

Darby Allin(0-0) vs Lance Archer(0-0) in the first round of the CPW Championship Tournament
Key Moments=
- Darby Allin flies tons of times to keep Archer on edge.
- Archer controls the match hitting tons of slams with Allin always just kicking out at 2.
- Archer hits a Buckle Bomb sending Allin through a table but Allin kicks out at 2.
- Darby Allin hits a Moonsault to the outside sending Archer through a Ladder Bridge.
- Darby gets Superplexed through a Ladder Bridge.
- Darby gets battered throughout the match getting hit with tons of extreme spots from Archer.
- Darby Allin hits a Spanish Fly from the top rope to the outside onto the concrete of the outside
The Finish:
Lance Archer sets up a Table and he goes for a Blackout from the top rope! But Darby flips out of it and Darby hits a Cheeky Nandos Kick and then a huge Enziguri sending Archer stumbling back and he sprawls out on the table. Allin then climbs to the top and hits a Coffin Drop through the table for the pin & the win.

Darby Allin defeats Lance Archer(11:09)
Updated Records: Darby Allin(1-0) Lance Archer(0-1)

Bret Hart says "Ladies & Gentlemen, I have just received news that tonight there will be a 16 Man Battle Royal for the now vacant spot in the CPW Championship Tournament. I have been told that the competitors will be Jungle Boy, Colt Cabana, Jake Hager, Bobby Roode, Sonny Kiss, Isaiah "Swerve: Scott, Montez Ford, Buddy Murphy, Scorpio Sky, The Miz, CIMA, Rey Mysterio, The Butcher, Jeff Hardy, Angelico, Lince Dorado. Also, we need to tell you something about how records will be affected in this match. If you win a Battle Royal than you will get a win on your record but if you lose it will not count towards your record.

Will Ospreay(0-0) vs Baron Corbin(0-0) in the first round of the CPW Championship Tournament
Key Moments=
- Will Ospreay hits an Aerial Assassin on Corbin through a ring-side table.
- Will Ospreay hits a Cheeky Nandos Kick followed by a Single hand Powerbomb onto the apron.
- Will Ospreay reverses and End of Days into a Stun Dog Millionaire.
- Will Ospreay hits a 720 Reverse Cannonball on Corbin but he kicks out at 2.
- Corbin kicks out of a HooKick at 2.
- Ospreay kicks out of a Deep Six through a table at 2.
The Finish:
Ospreay and Corbin are exchanging blows next to a Ladder Bridge in the ring but when Corbin winds up for a huge Lariat. Ospreay rolls underneath Corbin & the Ladder Bridge and then he runs up and springboards off the ropes to hit the OsCutter on Corbin through the ladder bridge for the 1,2,3.

Will Ospreay defeats Baron Corbin(9:04)
Updated Records: Will Ospreay(1-0) Baron Corbin(0-1)

Riho(0-0) vs Nia Jax(0-0) in the first round of the CPW Women's Championship Tournament
Key Moments=
- Nia Jax hits a Samoan Drop through a Table but Riho somehow kicks out at 2.
- Nia goes for a Big Splash onto Riho who is lying on a chair but Riho dodges and Nia hits the chair face-first.
- Riho hits a Double Foot Stomp on the Apron.
The Finish:
Riho goes for a Springboard Crossbody but Nia catches her and hoists her up and it looks like Nia is about to slam Riho onto the bed of chairs she created but Riho reverses into a Frankensteiner onto the chair bed. Riho then falls back to the corner and she holds her hands up to the crowd with a K-Pop like gesture much to the fan's delight and then the crowd sees that Nia is up on her knees and a chair is leaning right against the back of her head. Riho then charges in and hits the Riho Double Knees sending Nia's head straight into the chair and Riho drapes herself over Nia for the 1,2,3.

Riho defeats Nia Jax(8:16)

Updated Records: Riho(1-0) Nia Jax(0-1)

Backstage, we see Will Ospreay walking around and laughing and then he walks into the room with Darby Allin who is in a Black Sweatshirt and staring at the wall. Ospreay and Allin stare down as the camera cuts back to the ring where J.R says "And remember in 2 weeks time, Darby Allin will face Will Ospreay in the Quarter-Finals of the CPW Championship."

16-Man Battle Royal for the vacant spot in the CPW Championship Tournament
Entrants: Jungle Boy, Colt Cabana, Jake Hager, Bobby Roode, Sonny Kiss, Isaiah "Swerve: Scott, Montez Ford, Buddy Murphy, Scorpio Sky, The Miz, CIMA, Rey Mysterio, The Butcher, Jeff Hardy, Angelico, Lince Dorado
Key Moments =
- Jungle Boy eliminates CIMA & Angelico with a Hurricane-Rana but as he does this Dorado hits a Baseball Slide eliminating Jungle Boy
- Bobby Roode hits the Glorious DDT on Sonny Kiss but when he tries to throw Kiss out, Kiss reverses into a huge Roundhouse Kick pushing Roode over the ropes eliminating Roode.
- The Butcher uses his size to stay in the match but a team of Mysterio, Ford, Hager, Miz & Sky work together to force Butcher over the rope eliminating The Butcher.
- Right after The Butcher's elimination, the makeshift team turns on each other, and Hager does a Double Chokeslam eliminating both Rey Mysterio & Montez Ford.
- Scorpio Sky eliminates Angelico with a huge Clothesline over the ropes
- The Miz hits a Skull-Crushing Finale onto a Steel Chair on Isaiah "Swerve" Scott eliminating him
- Jake Hager powerbombs Lince Dorado over the top rope eliminating him.
- Colt Cabana hits a Superman Pin on Buddy Murphy but when he tries to eliminate Murphy, Murphy reverses into a Back Elbow sending Cabana over the rope, eliminating Colt Cabana.
- Jeff Hardy hits a Swanton Bomb from the top rope onto the apron where Sonny Kiss is lying there. Kiss is eliminated after this move by Hardy.
- Hardy goes for a Springboard Dropkick but Hager catches him in a Chokeslam position and Hager then Chokeslams Hardy over the top rope eliminating Jeff Hardy.
The Finish:
Now just Jake Hager & Scorpio Sky are left in the match. Hager goes for a Choke Bely to Belly Suplex but Sky lands it and hits a Running Knee on Hager but when he tries to throw him out, The Inner Circle gets involved and keeps Hager in. The Inner Circle is blasted by Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian with jumping Knee Strikes. Then back in the ring Sky goes for a Pop-Up Hurricane-Rana but Hager reverses into a Hager Bomb and then he Clotheslines Sky over the ropes eliminating Scorpio Sky for the win.

Jake Hager wins the 16-Man Battle Royal(7:13)
Updated Records: Jake Hager(1-0)

Backstage, we see Adam Page and he is drinking an Appletini and then the rest of The Elite show up. Omega says "Adam!" Page responds "What?" Omega says "Dude, you have a match right now!" Page then says "Oh shit your right! Let's go, let's go! I'm a little drunk but I hey I always said I compete better under the influence! Ha!"

Adam Page w/The Elite vs Dustin Rhodes w/The Rhodes Family in the first round of the CPW Championship Tournament
Key Moments =
- Adam Page acts very tipsily throughout the match often stumbling through stuff.
- Dustin is clearly outmatched but his heart keeps him in it.
- Adam Page hits a Buckshot Lariat but Dustin grabs the ropes to get a Rope Break.
- Dustin gets hit with a Splash through a table by Page.
- Dustin gets busted open when Page throws a Chair up and then kicks the chair into Dustin's head.
- Dustin reverses a Suplex into the Curtain Call but Page kicks out at 2.
- Dustin is bloody & hurt as he crawls to the side of the ring and QT is thinking about throwing in the towel but Cody stops him and goes over to check on Dustin. Cody gives him a pep talk and Dustin rolls back in the ring.
- Page gets hit with a Cross-Rhodes through a table but he kicks out at 2.
- Dustin in desperation goes for cover after cover with tons of roll-ups and covering Page after every move.
- Dustin hits a Spanish Fly through a Ladder Bridge but Page kicks out.
- Dustin barely kicks out of a Hangman DDT onto a Steel Chair from Page
- Cody watches nervously as Dustin struggles.
The Finish:
Dustin finally starts to rally with a string of punches & slams. He then goes for the Cross-Rhodes but Page reverses into a step-up Enziguri followed by the Buckshot Lariat for the 1,2,3.

Adam Page defeats Dustin Rhodes(20:21)
Updated Records: Adam Page(1-0) Dustin Rhodes(0-1)

After the match, The Elite has a party-like celebration as a solemn Rhodes Family helps Dustin to walk back up the ramp.

Big Swole(0-0) vs Emi Sakura(0-0) in the first round of the CPW Women's Championship Tournament
Key Moments =
Big Swole reverses a Tiger Driver into a DDT.
Big Swole Suplexs Emi Sakura through a table but Sakura kicks out at 2.
The Finish:
Big Swole ducks the Sakura Combination and smashes Sakura with the Dirty Dancing for the 1,2,3.

Big Swole defeats Emi Sakura(5:14)
Updated Records: Big Swole(1-0) Emi Sakura(0-1)

Backstage we see Asuka & Kari Sane and they are having a mini party as Asuka yells "Tonight, I will destroy Hikaru Shida and will continue my dominance until I am Champion! (singing) I will be Champion! I will be Champion!" The 2 laugh as the camera cuts back to the ring.

The Best Friends(Trent & Chuck Taylor)(0-0) vs The Lucha Bros(Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix) (0-0) in the first round of the CPW Tag Team Championship Tournament
Key Moments =
- Pentagon hits a ton of kicks & flips to give the Lucha Bros early control of the match
- Fenix hits a Fenix Driver through a table on Trent but Taylor breaks it up.
- The Lucha Bros attack Orange Cassidy but he ducks and does a ton of hands in the pockets moves that leave them on the floor.
- The Best Friends hit a Double Superkick onto a Chair that is on the head of Fenix but he kicks out in 2.
- Pentagon hits a Springboard Mexican Destroyer through a Ladder Bridge but Trent breaks up the pin.
- The Best Friends hit the Strong Zero on Pentagon onto a chair but Fenix breaks it up with a Sliding Knee.
- Pentagon puts Trent through a ladder bridge with a Mexican Destroyer off the apron and onto the ring floor.
- Pentagon & Rey Fenix hit a Double Tope Con Hilo through a table on all 3 of the Best Friends.
- Fenix hits a Rope Walk Enziguri followed by a huge Frankensteiner on the apron.
- Pentagon hits the Lanza through the announce table on Trent.
The Finish:
The Lucha Bros set up 2 separate contraptions made of tables ladders, barrels, sledgehammers & chairs. After making these contraptions, Fenix grabs Trent & Pentagon grabs Chuck and Fenix hits the Fenix Driver through one, and Pentagon hits the Pentagon Driver through the other. They then sprawl both Trent & Chuck out over the broken mess that was created by Chuck & Trent going through the contraptions and they line up for the Lucha Driver(their finisher) and they hit it on Trent and then they hit it again on Chuck Taylor and then they both cover both of them for the 1,2,3.

The Lucha Bros defeat The Best Friends(15:35)
Updated Records: The Lucha Bros(1-0) The Best Friends(0-1)

After the match, The Lucha Bros roll to the outside and grab Orange Cassidy. They roll him in the ring hit a couple of double team moves on him followed by the Fenix Driver and then the Pentagon Driver but then they line Cassidy up over the fallen Trent & Chuck and they hit the Lucha Driver on Cassidy. They then flip over the ropes to sprint up the ramp and backstage as their music plays and The Best Friends lie beaten & bloody in the center of the broken mess of objects.

We see MJF and he is in the MJF Lounge and he says "Hello CPW, I am Maxwell Jacob Friedman, MJF. And I am here because it is a fact that I am the greatest wrestler ever and I'm still so young. So tonight when my bodyguard, Wardlow & I step in the ring with the Jurassic Express which is made up of a Budget Jurassic Park Dinosaur, a Tarzan rip-off & and the tiny little annoying pest. You know that we will destroy them. That is a fact the only question is how quickly? So place your bets ladies and gentlemen because trust me this match will be over in seconds."

MJF & Wardlow(0-0) vs Jurassic Express(Luchasaurous & Marko Stunt) (0-0) in the first round of the CPW Tag Team Championship Tournament
Key Moments =
- Wardlow & Luchasaurus have a battle of the big guys as every move the two perform hits with a huge impact.
- Luchasaurous hits a combination of kicks on the apron that ends with a huge Toe Kick to MJF on the apron.
- Marko Stunt is the underdog whenever he is in the ring as he is mocked by MJF & Wardlow as they toss him about like a rag doll.
- MJF takes out Jungle Boy who is watching by hitting him with a Suicide Dive and then a Brass Knuckle Punch
- MJF takes advantage of the fact that he can use weapons using them to slow down Luchasaruous when he has to go against him
- Wardlow hits a Chokeslam on Luchasaruous but he kicks out at 2.
- MJF hits Marko Stunt with the Heat Seeker but Stunt barely kicks out at 2.
The Finish:
MJF is being beaten by Marko Stunt who is hitting tons of kicks & flying moves but then Wardlow attacks Luchasarus and Jungle Boy distracting the ref & Stunt allowing MJF to roll-up Stunt but he kicks out and tags in Luchasaurous. Jurassic Express then goes for the Age of the Dinosaurs(Their finisher but) Wardlow runs in just before they hit it sending Marko Stunt flying headfirst onto the ropes and bouncing back like a bouncy ball as he flys and then lands in a crumpled heap. The crowd is in shock and so is Luchasaurus, the ref and Jungle Boy who all are trying to check on Marko Stunt. In all the confusion, MJF sneaks up behind Luchasaurus and hits him with a Low Blow followed by the South Hampton Plunge onto a chair and right into the Salt of the Earth with Luchasarus's arm through the chair which a shocked Luchasaruas quickly taps out in.

MJF & Wardlow defeat Jurassic Express(10:19)

After the match, MJF takes out Jungle Boy on the outside with Brass Knuckles and then Wardlow hoists Jungle Boy upon his shoulders as MJF sets up a ladder bridge. Wardlow then lifts Jungle Boy in a Chokeslam and he shows him off to the crowd as he keeps a death lock on the throat of Jungle Boy. Wardlow then Chokeslams Jungle Boy through the ladder bridge as MJF & Wardlow laugh. MJF then goes and grabs his whip as MJF & Wardlow roll into the ring and close in on Luchasaurous and Wardlow holds Luchasaurous up in on his knees outstretching Luchasaurous's hands so his chest if unprotected. MJF then whips Luchasaurous 5 times before laughing and leaving. As the 3 members of Jurassic Express are checked on by medical staff.

Asuka w/Kari Sane vs Hikaru Shida in the first round of CPW Women's Championship Tournament
Key Moments =
- Asuka hits the Empress Combination but Shida kicks out at 2.
- Hikaru Shida hits a German Suplex sending Asuka through a table.
- Hikaru Shida goes for the Shida Knee Strike(her finisher) but Asuka dodges it and hits a Shining Wizard followed by a Backslide cover but Shida kicks out at 2.
- Hikaru Shida hits a flying Hurricane-Rana on the apron sending Asuka off the apron and into the barricade
The Finish:
Shida goes for the Shida Knee Strike but Asuka reverses rolling Shida into the Asuka Lock forcing Shida to tap.

Asuka defats Hikaru Shida(12:08)
Updated Records: Asuka(1-0) Hikaru Shida(0-1)

The Rhodes Family(Cody Rhodes & QT Marshall)(0-0) vs Vega's Crew(Andrade & Angel Garza)(0-0) in the first round of the CPW Tag Team Championship Tournament
Key Moments =
- QT is clearly outmatched in the match
- Cody hits a Cross-Rhodes through the table on Garza but he kicks out at 2.
- Andrade hits a Hammerlock Suplex to the outside on Cody as Cody rolls over in agony holding his arm.
- Both teams are bloody & beaten
- Cody hits a Cody Cutter to the outside sending Andrade through a Ladder Bridge
- Cody goes for the Cross-Rhodes in the ring on Andrade but he reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex
- Cody goes for another Cody Cutter but Garza reverses into a Backstabber which Cody kicks out of at 2.
-QT is so battered as he is beaten down by tons of weapons and punches.
- QT gets knocked out by a Hammerlock DDT and the ref is about to call for the bell but Cody drags Marshall to the corner and tags himself in before helping Marshall out of the ring and telling Dustin & Brandi to take care of him before continuing the match alone.
- Cody keeps going despite all of his blood and injuries as this shows his heart. But he is still in a 2 on 1 match and he is struggling.
- Cody hits a Cross-Rhodes off the apron on Andrade but when he covers him in the ring but Andrade kicks out.
- Angel Garza goes for the Wing Clipper but Cody reverses into a Codebreaker.
The Finish:
Cody hits Angel Garza with a Disaster Kick but Andrade tags himself in and then Cody is teamed up on by Garza & Andrade. Garza then hits the Wing Clipper on Cody and then Andrade hits a Hammerlock DDT onto the steel chair and he covers Cody for the 1,2,3.

Vega's Crew defeats The Rhodes Family(22:09)
Updated Records: Vega's Crew(1-0) The Rhodes Family(0-1)

The Inner Circle comes out and Chris Jericho says "Hello everyone, I am Le Champion, Chris Jericho and here are my friends, Sammy Guevara, Santana, Ortiz & Jake Hager. And we are here to talk about the CPW Championship Tournament. You see I have a match in this tournament next week against Orange Cassidy but I am here to talk about Jake Hager! Hager dominated the Battle Royal earlier tonight to gain entry to the CPW Championship Tournament and I know for a fact that tonight in the main event, Jake Hager will dominate Kenny Omega and we will prove that the Inner Circle is better than the Elite."
The Elite then run down and attack The Inner Circle and as the huge brawl happens we hear J.R exclaims "Kenny Omega vs Jake Hager when we return from this break on Friday Night Fight!"

Kenny Omega w/The Elite (0-0) vs Jake Hager w/The Inner Circle (1-0)
Key Moments =
- Kenny Omega goes for a One-Winged Angel early but Hager reverses into an Atomic Drop
- Kenny Omega hits a V-Trigger on the apron
- Kenny Omega hits a Corkscrew Shooting Star Press on Hager through a table.
- Kenny Omega misses a V-Trigger and Hager hits a Hager Bomb through a Ladder Bridge but Omega kicks out at 2.
- Kenny Omega nearly hits the V-Trigger again but Hager reverses into a Spinebuster.
- Omega hits a Swanton Bomb to the outside through a Ladder Bridge
- Omega takes out the rest of The Inner Circle with a Tope Con Hilo.
The Finish:
Jake Hager sets up a Ladder Bridge and a Table and then he goes to Superplex Omega but Omega reverses into a One-Winged Angel from the top rope through the Ladder Bride and the Table! For the 1,2,3.

Kenny Omega defeats Jake Hager(17:48)
Updated Records: Kenny Omega(1-0) Jake Hager(1-1)

After the match, Omega & the rest of the Elite celebrate but their mini-party is crashed when The Inner Circle jumps The Elite and beat them down but The Elite hold their ground and the show ends with The Elite celebrating in the ring and Adam Page handing drinks to the rest of the Elite and they all do shots as the show closes.
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2020.04.29 16:21 KristaDBall Fantasy of Manners, Fantasy Food, and whatever else you want to ask: AMA Krista D. Ball.

Hey folks! Like way too many people, all of my events for the year are now cancelled. In particular, last weekend would have been Calgary Expo. I was slated to speak on food for fantasy writers, fans, and gamers, as well as I was going to do a talk related to the new Emma movie, and tie in fantasy of manners.
That all got blown to hell.
I was asked to do an AMA and I offered to do it as a bit of a talk. The goal would be that I'd post a little video with the essay below to get things off the ground. However, I have a english spring spaniel puppy (four months old today) and, quite frankly, I'm tired. The amount of work to do a video (shower, comb hair, dry hair, put on makeup, put on a clean shirt) was well beyond me lol
So I wrote up a small essay below with the most common questions I'm asked when I do Regency and Fantasy of Manners/Steampunk presentations. You're obviously allowed to ask questions based on that, or anything else whatsoever. I just thought it might be interesting :)
Are you a DM and looking for how to pull off a feast in-game? Are you reading loads of fantasy of manners and have some burning questions? Are you wondering what my opinion is of the new Star Trek shows? Ask away!
Etsy store
Patreon (payments are suspended through May)
Book list

Also, A MAGICAL INHERITANCE is on sale across all retailers for 99c (kobo might be slow; it'll be changed by tomorrow for sure).
---
  1. Were women allowed to live alone?
Yes! In fact, by the mid-19th century, about 19% of households were led by women. The majority of those households were widowed women, but a fifth—a full 20%—were married women without their spouses living with them, be it because of imprisonment, work, or abandonment. For the other households, they could be single mothers, a combination of female relations and friends living together to reduce their living expenses, or lesbian relationships.
  1. So did women work?
Yes! In fact, most women worked. However, women of a certain class were socially expected not to work for money - and that's the major difference. In 1800, only twenty-one per cent of families in England and Wales lived off more than £100 annually. Seven per cent of households had annual incomes over £200. Those households over the £1000 mark as the bottom of gentility were a mere 1.25 per cent of the entire population, or about 28,000 families. A household earning £150 was in the top 10 percent of earners in England and Wales. (Source: Dress in the Age of Jane Austen: Regency Fashion [2019], by Hilary Davidson)
Working class women worked a variety of jobs. Full-time, live-in servant is the most obvious example that comes to most minds, but there were plenty of other jobs. Writers and governesses were about the only acceptable jobs for women of the pseudo-gentry and higher, but other women could be seamstresses, milliners, costermongers, coffee house owner, and so on. There was also significant casual labour jobs women worked to make ends meet, especially in urban areas: take-in laundry, starching, child care, beggary, sex work (direct or indirect), selling fruit, nuts, or flowers, and so on.
Women earned less than men, which made life precarious for the households that relied on female wages (be it the adults or children). Women and girls were also more likely to work temporary, seasonal, or unstable work.
For wealthier women, they also worked but in a different manner. Finding a good husband was considered the full-time job of young women. They were also had to do needlework, making the shirts for male relations (this particular body linen was rarely purchased or made by tailors/seamstresses, and instead made by female family members). They also dispensed charity.
  1. Wait a minute. Did you say sex work? Like, prostitution?
Yup, I sure did. It was estimated that one in five of London's women were involved in the sex industry in some fashion. Some girls and women entered prostitution out of necessity. Some married women engaged in casual prostitution when they needed money. Perhaps their husbands were injured or drunk, sick or lazy. It didn’t matter. If she couldn’t get sewing or laundry work, she might resort to a few nights of sex work. Street prostitutes didn’t make the kind of money that the housed, full-time workers charged, but a shilling was a shilling.
Even when the Industrial Revolution was roaring forward and Victorian morals had changed significantly from the Regency era, social campaigners and even the courts took a more compassionate view of sex worker during difficult economic times. However, conversely, they also took a dim view of women who continued to engage in it when work was plentiful and well-paying.
Perhaps my favourite story of a courtesan's happy ending is Elizabeth Armistead (1750-1842). She married the politician Charles James Fox. Elizabeth had been the mistress to several of the aristocracy - she'd even been the mistress of the Prince Regent for a time. She met Fox through the Whig circles and they'd been friends for a decade. Then, they fell in love and she became his mistress.
And then they married in 1795 in secret and told no one. It was said this was Elizabeth's idea for her fears that their marriage would destroy Fox's career. However, by 1802, Fox decided to announce it. The gossip was fierce for a time, but many members of high society accepted her; after all, they'd all been friends for years by this point.
There are so many terrible stories of the lives of women at that time who were employed in sex work. I love Elizabeth Armistead's story for how rare it was, but how it must have given some hope.
  1. Was the food terrible? How did people eat? What did people eat? What do you mean by fast food?
"What did people eat" is always a complicated question because it depends significantly on the season, location, and class of the individual we're talking about. A wealthy aristocratic house would have a very different dinner spread from a country rector, and that would be significantly different from an urban casual worker.
So first, it's important to remember that drying, pickling, salting, and smoking techniques would be widely used to preserve the lifespan of pretty much all foods. Some of those foods look horrific to a modern eye (Google "Newfoundland Salt Beef" for photos of beef floating in a bloody salt brine), but honestly taste delicious (again, Google "Newfoundland Salt Beef Dinner"). Many modern tastes would not be used to that kind of taste, but it's not actually bad tasting; just different.
Rural individuals would have significantly more variety when it came to fresh produce. Jane Austen grew up at the Steventon Rectory, which had farm land, but also a kitchen garden. They grew so much produce there. However, when her father quit the rectory and moved the family to Bath, they had no garden access. Fresh produce was very expensive to purchase. What was a free cucumber all her life was now as expensive as a piece of meat.
Urban poor would have it even harder. As the industrial revolution grew, more people flocked to urban centers. Housing was appalling, without chimneys or stoves. Many did not have wells or, later, water pumps that were turned on only for short periods of time. Those individuals relied, sometimes exclusively, on fast food. They relied on pre-prepared and/or pre-cooked food from stalls, such as pies, boiled eggs, hot beverages, and so on. Shops and vendors also sold pies, pastries, as well as ready-to-eat items like oysters, bread, and cheese. In some cases, they could purchase individual ingredients for a shop to cook for them (such as a chop of meat and potatoes).
Urban centers also relied on whatever could came into the city, and were also affected by the seasonal offerings, perhaps moreso since some food didn't leave the coast or rural areas.
My book HUSTLERS HARLOTS AND HEROES is on sale for 99c this week on Amazon
Get ready to step into the back alleys of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens’s London, and explore the alternative worlds of Steampunk in this new guide book by fantasy author Krista D. Ball.
Ball takes readers on a fascinating journey into the world of the Have-Nots, and explores the bustling, crime-ridden London during the Georgian and Victorian eras. Discover the world of knocker-uppers (it’s not what you think), mudlarks, and costermongers. Learn how to scrub floors and polish knives, pick for bones, and catch rats. Learn about race and social status, and the difference between a lady’s maid and a scullery maid.
With her usual wit, insight, and snark, Ball gives historical, romance, and Steampunk authors the tools to create vibrant, realistic worlds. Whether you’re an author, a Janeite, or just a fan of history, Hustlers, Harlots, and Heroes gives you a fresh look into the dark past


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2020.03.04 19:06 throwawayaracehorse Room 922: The Room of Your Greatest Fear

How much of our decisions are influenced by guilt?
I know that guilt was the primary driver of the engine that was carrying me south from Calgary to Bumfuck, Idaho, the town I grew up in. A funeral awaited me.
My hometown, which doesn’t deserve the dignity of being properly named, was something of a shithole. All of my life I had been anxious to get the hell out of there and I had always thought that nothing would ever bring me back. Once my mom moved shortly after my high school graduation, I had no reason whatsoever to return.
But then I heard about Cheyenne.
My best friend from childhood had passed away suddenly and I didn’t quite know the circumstances. My mom had called me with the news and she knew very little, only had a link to the obituary which listed the date and time of the services. I looked on social media for clues, but couldn’t get much information there, just people posting their condolences to his family and messages on his Facebook that they missed him. In those cases where the cause of death is unspoken and the details are sparse you can always assume the type of death it is. In my head, I imagined a suicide or a drug overdose.
Small towns can be like quicksand, people getting stuck in place for all kinds of reasons. My hometown in particular was like a patch of quicksand with its own gravitational pull. Sure you might escape, but you could get caught back into its orbit and before you knew it, you'd be sucked down into that old place, unable to leave.
That's what had happened to Cheyenne.
At first, he had been like the other young people of the town, fleeing with the hopes of never coming back. There was no real industry there—a local factory had closed years ago—and unless you were in the family business with ranching or potato farming, you were best served by going elsewhere. So that’s what we did and I was proud that he especially had finally made it out, away from all of the demons that Nowheresville had haunted him with.
I had gotten a scholarship to Oregon State University whereas he ended up at Boise State. He made it a couple years before the partying caught up with him and he was forced to drop out. I had visited him a couple of times out there and his partying was really on a completely different level than anything I had previously experienced. It continued through the entire weekend and, I can only presume, on into the week.
Of course, deep down I knew why.
Later, after he dropped out, contact between the two of us was limited. Our lives were going in different directions. He had enrolled at a junior college to get back on track and when that failed, he took a couple years off to work a little, bouncing from job to job. He ended up moving back to our hometown, living with his mom. He was flirting with the idea of the military. That was the last I had personally heard from him. Through sporadic conversations with old friends I had heard he had been to rehab a couple of times.
As for the funeral, I had plenty of excuses not to go—I wanted to save my PTO for a bigger vacation, it’s not like we had been that close in recent years, it was such a long drive, etc. etc.—but the guilt weighed heavily on me and I requested off.
A hold up at the border had delayed me and it was later in the evening than I had anticipated when I passed into the United States and was coming through the panhandle of Idaho. I had planned to make it to Boise for the night, but if my heavy eyelids were any indication, I wasn’t going to make it the whole way through. That was fine by me, I had a little bit of flexibility in my schedule.
That’s about when I heard the broadcast. A bizarre, stream of conscious rant by this old folksy DJ came over the airwaves and cut into the sports radio program that I was listening to at the time. It was kind of funny, but it gave me pause. I think it was just a major coincidence but it almost seemed like the DJ knew something about me and my situation, somehow knew that I was driving back to my hometown for a funeral. He kept talking about funerals and burying the dead and how he hated them and how deep down most people did. How he couldn’t stand casseroles and that nobody ever ate the calf brain and broccoli casserole he liked to bring to such events.
It was true in my case; I hated funerals and I hated casserole. That wasn't so rare of a sentiment, was it?
But then the DJ gave a very strong recommendation, almost a warning of sorts. It was almost like he was talking directly to me. He said that if any point during my journey I came across a motel or hotel or inn that had a neon sign featuring my worst fear, then I was to pull over instantly and book a room. It didn't matter the time of day, it didn't matter my plans, didn't matter my phobia, I had to book the room. So he said.
If I ignored him, if I didn't face my fear and book the room, if I just kept driving on, then the man on the radio claimed that “my fear would face me.” What was that supposed to mean?
So when I came upon a motel on the side of the winding mountain roads, a motel known as The Big Top Inn, I began to get really anxious and scared. The main sign featured a large circus tent and it promised clean rooms and HBO and vacancies. Below that, a neon sign flashed and flickered: the outline of a clown, waving and waving.
I hated clowns.
They call it coulrophobia and I definitely have it, but when I say that I have I don’t mean in the generic way that most people do as in they get kind of creeped out by clowns or they can remember how they saw part of Stephen King’s It on TV when they were young while their older sister was watching it at a sleepover (although this did happen to me). I mean that I have a deep seated disdain and terror for all clowns. Even a picture will cause my pulse to speed up. Forget about seeing a clown in person. I have avoided Halloween events and other costume affairs all on account of the risk of seeing someone dressed up that way. I’ve had to learn all sorts of techniques and breathing exercises just to cope with any accidental sightings in public. It’s that bad.
I slowed down as I neared the motel. Nobody was behind me so I came to a complete stop, right there in the road. The radio broadcast was especially creepy and the fact that it just so happened to occur right before this motel really had me paranoid. What was a place like that doing out here in the middle of nowhere?
The motel was painted white and the rooms of all of the doors were red with the roof a series of alternating red and white shingles that formed stripes, giving the place the appearance of a circus tent. What would happen if I kept driving?
I thought of Cheyenne and his funeral and his untimely death.
I pulled into the driveway that ran under a breezeway in front of the little lobby. I could hear circus calliope music. I left the car idling and got prepared to make my entrance and book a room. My entire shirt was damp with sweat and my hands trembled on the steering wheel.
But when I saw the clerk sitting at the front desk, with his painted on stubble, crumpled charcoal stovepipe hat, white gloves and red nose, I noped right the fuck out of there.
Rattled to my core, I pulled up to turn back onto the highway and there right there, right across me was a large hotel set back from the road. Its multiple floors loomed large above the trees and it was capped off by a steep angled roof. An ornate sign on the side of the road read, HOTEL NON DORMIUNT. What was a place like that doing out here in the middle of nowhere? It was the second time in as many minutes that I had asked that very question.
Maybe just pull in and check it out. At the very least you could get a drink and calm down.
Two gaslit street lamps greeted me as I pulled into the Hotel Non Dormiunt’s entrance. More lamps illuminated the waning evening light the entire way as my car made its way up a stone paved drive and into a covered driveway entrance. I idled into the driveway and to my left, large wooden doors sat at the top of a small row of gray stone steps. I needed to find parking and I decided I would just pop in real quick and ask.
Someone suddenly tapped on the passenger side window.
It was a staff member, a bellboy. He was wearing white gloves and the red suit with the little cap and brass buttons all down the front. He was short, barely coming up to the middle of the window. Young looking too. I wondered if this violated some type of child labor law.
I rolled down the window.
“Excuse me, I’m just thinking about coming in here for a drink, maybe something to eat. Do you have a restaurant?”
He didn’t respond, just nodded and held up one finger and reached down in his coat and handed me a sheet of paper. I looked it over. It said, SPECIAL: TONIGHT ONLY. ROOMS, 50 DOLLARS. TWO FREE DRINK COUPONS WITH ROOM!
It sounded too good to be true.The place looked really awesome and I had to check it out. What could it hurt?
####
The lobby was grand, with clusters of luxurious couches scattered in corners. Equally luxurious people sat together and drank and talked and they even had a live piano player that was slinking out a nice jazzy number. Large gold framed mirrors and paintings hung on the walls and an opulent chandelier hung at the center of the room.
I made my way to the receptionist, booked a room, and got my drink coupons. Everything seemed legit.
I scanned the room once again. The people were all well dressed, a mix between the young and the old. Men in suave suits and ladies in cocktail dresses milled about. I certainly felt underdressed in the place with my jeans and t-shirt. I decided I would go up to my room, take a shower, and wear my funeral attire down to the bar and restaurant.
I rode the elevator to the 9th floor. I padded down a hallway of lush carpeting and found my room, number 922. The room was just as impressive with a brass framed bed at its center, a velvet chaise lounge in front of the window, and a rolltop desk in the corner of the room. The bathroom featured a clawfoot tub and even a freaking bidet! I had never used one of those before and after my shower I gave it a whirl (a dry run thank you very much!). I didn’t know how to sit on it properly and when I turned it on a blast of hot water shot me square in the balls and into my chin. Sacré bleu!
I made my way down to the bar in good spirits. I was enjoying my little adventure and
where I had turned up. The clown motel was no longer on my mind. I took a seat at the bar. It filled the center of the room in a large oval and the shelves were filled with exotic libations and bottles of spirits I had never heard. There were people in booths that were on the borders of the room, but the bar area was largely empty save for an old man at the far end from where I sat.
The bartender’s back was to me when I arrived and he turned to deliver a drink to the other customer. As he did so, I noticed something odd about him. He was wearing a medical mask across his face. What was that about? Germaphobe? Worried about coronavirus?
“What’ll it be?” he asked through the mask.
“Hmmm,” I said and drummed my fingers on the bar. “I’m a little road worn and weary and not thinking clearly. Can you make me something with bourbon in it?”
“Right away,” he said.
He returned with something on the rocks and it really hit the spot in a way that no cocktail ever had. I ordered another.
I debated on what to do now. I thought about asking the bartender the history of the place, but he had disappeared for the time being. Maybe I could strike up conversation with the old man down the way, but he looked like he didn’t want to be bothered. I suddenly got this awkward and self-conscious feeling. I didn’t like going to bars alone and really only did at airports.
I was so busy stuck in my own head that I didn’t see her come up behind me. She sat with a seat between us at my left and I’m glad she did. Had she sat anywhere else, I would’ve had to have made an awkward excuse to sit. She was beautiful.
She wore a black dress and her hair was brown with the slightest hints of red. It cascaded onto her shoulders, the shoulders which peeked out from under the straps of her black cocktail dress, the black cocktail dress that looked amazing on her. She ordered a martini.
I was never so suave to start up conversation with someone that looked like her at the bar, or hell, maybe I was never so lucky. I never saw someone this beautiful go to a bar alone. Maybe she was like me, a fellow traveler.
Being on the road and already having a couple drinks in me, I decided to take a shot. If things went badly, it’s not like I was going to ever see her again.
“Hi there,” I said and smiled. “How are you?”
She smiled back. “I’m well, and you?”
“Just a little road worn and weary, crossed into the US earlier today. Had a holdup at the border.”
“Oh, Canada?”
I nodded. “Calgary.”
“Ooh, I hear it’s pretty up there.”
“Yeah, if you ever find yourself up there, you’ll wanna go to Banff. I’m from the US originally. I’m in the energy sector.”
“The energy sector? Is that a fancy way of saying you’re in the oil business? Are you a driller?”
“Do I look like one?” I asked.
She sized me up. “Nah, you’re too…”
“Don’t say it, don’t say it,” I laughed.
“Don’t say what?”
“I’m too soft? Too scrawny? I go to the gym, y’know.”
“No, that’s not what I was gonna say. You’re too...refined. You couldn’t pass as a roughneck. ”
I chuckled. “You’re right. I actually work in an adjacent field. I code and design software for customer databases and management systems for the energy companies. Saying I work in the energy sector sounds more exciting than I’m just another coder, a computer geek.”
“I like geeks,” she said and I about fell out of my chair. “They are really killing it nowadays. I’m Lucy.” She held out her hand.
I took it. “Cory,” I responded.
We talked for a while and ordered more drinks. It was going really well and I was picking up a good vibe from her. I scooted to the chair adjacent to her and our legs bumped against each other’s and when she laughed she began to touch my arm. In addition to being insanely gorgeous, she was also really smart. She claimed she had a Philosophy degree and had learned the hard way that a degree like that wasn’t worth a hill of beans. She had spent the past couple years doing modeling gigs and substitute teaching. She certainly had the looks to be a model. She had just gotten back from Coeur D'alene for a photo shoot. She said the modeling wasn’t consistent work and that she was thinking of going to law school.
““What’s up with the bartender’s little mask?” she asked.
“Must be afraid of Coronavirus. I knew there must’ve been a reason they only stocked Modelo,” I said.
Lucy laughed way too hard and long at my shitty joke that I had ripped off of a meme I had recently seen on social media. That was ok though, because I took it as an indicator that she might be interested in me and I liked her big smile and the way her teeth gleamed white next to her red lipstick.
She suddenly stopped laughing and got closer to me, touched my knee with her hand. I could smell her perfume and it smelled exciting. She spoke in a low voice. “You know what else a corona is, don’t you?”
“I can’t say that I do.”
“It’s a part of...the...head of the penis,” she said.
I was dumbfounded and speechless. My pulse quickened and I felt my cheeks go red and my legs go weak.
Was this really happening?
This sort of thing never happened to me, almost to the point that I thought it was only something that happened in movies. I had only successfully hooked up from someone I had newly met at a bar just one time and it was just one of those things where everyone was drunk. But this? With someone that looked like her?
She smiled at me and giggled.
“That’s um...I didn’t know that,” I stammered.
Play it smooth, dummy.
“Do you want to go to my room? There’s this really cool desk in there,” I said.
Idiot!
She leaned in close to me and I felt her palm against the bulge in my pants. “Yes,” she whispered.
As we made our way to the elevator, the anxious part of my brain started running its mouth. I grew concerned that maybe she was an escort of sorts and that on the way to the room that she would start to negotiate prices with me, prices that I wouldn’t be able to afford. Or what if she would start bringing up money after the act? What if she had a pimp or something that would rough me up afterwards?
Shut up. This is why you never get lucky like this. You worry too much, the dick influenced part of my brain told the anxiety influenced part of my brain.
There was no turning back after the elevator. She fell into me and we kissed and I felt her body in my hands and she rubbed my cock through my jeans and I grabbed her ass and soon we were stumbling down the hall towards room 922 where I took off my shirt and we fell upon the bed and she straddled me and I could feel her unzipping me and pulling off my pants.
I was completely naked, lying on the bed and there she was straddling me with her dress hiked up to her underwear.
“Close your eyes,” she leaned in and whispered.
I obeyed and in the darkness behind my eyelids I could smell her and feel her weight shifting on the bed and I could feel her mouth on me and soon I felt something at my ankles and wrists and I heard a clicking.
I opened my eyes wide. My wrists were cuffed to the frame of the bed, my ankles the same.
“Lucy, what is this?”
“This,” she said and paused, “is fun.”
I jerked at my restraints. “I’m not so sure about this.”
“Relax,” she said, placing her hand on my chest. “I’m just going to tease you a little. Take control for a bit. Can you handle that?”
I didn’t want to blow my chance. It did sound exciting, the continuation of my adventure.
“Yes,” I said.
“Good.” She reached under her dress and into places unknown and pulled out a wet finger and placed it in my mouth. It tasted like cotton candy. I wanted her. All of her.
“I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” she said. “Two minutes max. I promise.”
“Wait. Can you kiss me goodbye? Two minutes is awful long.”
A mischievous look went across her face and she knelt towards my penis and traced the shaft with her tongue and up around my corona (that new word!)
The bathroom door shut and I could hear the fan on in there and I pulled at my restraints. There was no way I was getting out of these. I was utterly helpless and about to panic when the door opened and erased all thoughts from my mind.
She stood before me, the bathroom light behind her creating a silhouette of her body. She was topless but still wearing her underwear. Her breasts were deceptively large. I knew that they had looked nice in her dress and all, but I wasn’t expecting these. They had a natural weight to them and hung just slightly from gravity’s pull, and oh how they moved with each step she took towards me. She held something behind her back, just out of sight. As soon as she got to the foot of the bed, my cock stood up like a king cobra rising for a snake charmer.
She reached towards her right breast and grabbed a handful of it and then suddenly squeezed it, twice in rapid succession, each squeeze accompanied by a honking bike horn sound. Honk. Honk.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the unexpected nature of it all, I mean what the fuck?
Did she have a little horn behind her back? Is that what that was? She had to, right?
To be honest it was kind of a turn off. I wasn’t looking for comedy during my sex and all it seemed to do was make a mockery of her large and wonderful breasts, as if they were just gaudy props and not the things that I so desperately wanted to touch and watch and have in my face.
From behind her back, she pulled out not a bike horn, but a condom wrapper. She tore at the edge of the wrapper and procured the condom and stretched it out. Instead of placing it on me, she brought it to her mouth and blew and blew and the condom inflated before my confused eyes.
It became a long skinny balloon and her hands were a blur and I could hear the rubbing and squeaking of taut rubber and she threw the new object towards me. A balloon animal, a little dog. It bounced across my chest and into my face and I could smell the strong latex.
“Lucy, what in the fuck is this?” I asked.
She only gave me a big smile.
I jerked at my cuffs.
“Lucy, let me go! Lucy! I’m freaking out now. Seriously.”
She let out a high pitched laugh that was unnerving.
The honking boob.
The balloon animal.
That cotton candy taste.
I suddenly knew.
“Do you want some clown pussy?” she asked in a high pitched, Mickey Mouse-ish voice and my eyes were drawn to her bottom half.
Jutting from the edges of the fabric of her panties was wild and untamed red hair and I don't mean red as in ginger or strawberry blonde, I mean bright red Ronald McDonald style hair. She pulled at the edges and the panties tore away and it looked like she was wearing a big merkin down there. Just thick red bush was all you could see.
I started screaming for help, jerking and jerking at my cuffs, trying to twist every which way.
She reached down into the wild burning bush between her legs and started pulling out the edge of a purple scarf. She started pulling and pulling and pulling, a rainbow rope of different colored scarves pooling at her feet. Then, she felt resistance and made an exaggerated face of strain.
With a loud cartoonish sounding pop, like a cork popping out of a champagne bottle, an object burst forth from her and clattered to the floor.
My vocal cords seized in terror and shock.
She knelt down on the floor to retrieve the object, disappearing from my view for a brief moment. When she stood up, her beautiful chestnut hair had disappeared and on her scalp sat a bright red clown afro.
Her skin had changed color too. She was still nude, but her skin had turned a bright yellow color and large polka dots of different colors scattered all over her body. The yellow color cut off at her face, which was now stark white and with a red painted grin and blue splotchy eyes. In her hand, the object she had picked up from the floor gleamed in the light, the blade of a large butcher knife.
She placed the tip of the blade at the top of my foot and I screamed and she held up a finger and wagged it at me and inched it in until an area of blood appeared.
I stopped screaming. I had gotten the picture. She slowly traced the tip of the blade up the back of my foot and towards the front of my shin, leaving a superficial cut as a trail up my leg and over my knee as she walked along the side of the bed. The blade continued its path across my thigh as I could only sit there frozen in horror. To jerk or scream would result in it plunging deeper into me.
I almost passed out as it neared my groin and towards my long since shriveled and hibernating penis, but it made a turn over my lower abdomen and just past my navel when she straddled me. She raised the blade up high above her.
“Lucy! Stop! Oh God, oh God, please stop! Safeword! Safeword! You didn’t give me a safeword!”
“Oh! Silly me,” she said in that awful voice. “The safeword is, ‘I am responsible for the death of my childhood friend’.” Then the most awful laugh erupted from her gaping mouth and there was something sticking out of there, a big pink and red object just behind her lips and she stared at me with her mouth full of whatever it was.
It unspooled from her mouth like a rolled up red carpet down an aisle, the aisle being the length of her body. It was her tongue and it flopped onto my stomach and she whipped it across my chest and neck and face, before snapping it back into her mouth.
Tears streamed down my face and I started screaming again. She held the blade high. So this is how I died, huh?
“Cheyenne, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I’m responsible for your death,” I managed to choke out through the sobs. How much of it was legible, I don’t know.
“What was that?” Lucy asked, holding a hand to her ear, the other still gripped around the handle.
“You heard me,” I sobbed. “You fucking heard me, you goddam cotton candied cunt clown bitch.”
The knife was a silver blur as she suddenly brought it down into my chest. Buried to the hilt, my sternum vibrated under the handle, the force of the blow.

######

As the youngest child of a single parent who worked all the time to make ends meet, I had a lot of freedom as a kid. Lots of evenings where it was just my sister watching me, afternoons after school where it was just me and the TV until mom got home, and much of my free time spent at Cheyenne’s.
His mother and dad were cool with me coming around all the time. I think they felt bad for me. They viewed me as another member of the family. You had to hand it to parents like that.
The only thing was, which wasn’t really that big of a problem, was that they were Baptists and really religious. They went to church Sunday mornings and Sunday evenings and even on Wednesday nights. I guess they needed a recharge in the middle of the week. Cheyenne’s mom played piano for the church, so we ended up hanging out there a lot. Lots of times, especially on Wednesdays, she let us skip the service and go out and play on the basketball goal that was in the church parking lot.
There was something called "Vacation Bible School" and it happened every summer and was basically a week long ordeal of learning about the bible and dressed up in such a way as to appeal to kids. You would go for a couple hours with a bunch of other kids up to the fifth grade. They had lots of games and refreshments and arts and crafts and some years they even had a moon bounce. It was at Vacation Bible School where we first met the clowns.
They were known as the "Clowns for Christ" and it was a man and woman both dressed as clowns and they considered themselves missionaries. They would go all over the country in this white panel van with clowns and stuff painted on the side and they would entertain kids at events such as these and also teach them about the good book and Jesus and all of that. They had puppets that would perform parables and instead of balloon animals they made crosses and Jesus fish out of their balloons. They said that God had invented laughter for our enjoyment and they were using it to spread his word. They weren't that funny to me. Even then, I found them creepy.
It was the day after Bible School had ended and Cheyenne and I had wandered off down to the park. His mom was doing some stuff at the church and had allowed us to go down there. We were nine years old and it was only a couple blocks away.
Small towns like that, they thought you didn't have to worry about anything. Most of the time you didn't. Most of the time you still don't. It's not the most of the time that gets you.
We were running around the baseball diamond after hitting imaginary homeruns when we saw it pull up and park under a tree, that familiar white panel van with the clowns painted on the side. He stepped out of the driver's seat, the man with the clown ministry. He was still in his get up, a daisy sticking out of his hat. He wore a plaid shirt and suspenders, giant red shoes. He waved and called us over.
"How y'all boys doing? Seen ya at the church," he said and handed us each a bag of cotton candy.
“What are you doing here? Are you gonna be at church this Sunday?” Cheyenne asked.
“Nope. We’re gonna be getting on down the road and onto the next place. Lil’ Missy's back at the hotel. Got another one of them headaches. Always with the headaches. Figured I’d drive around a bit while she’s resting."
I don't remember everything. I never made the conscious choice to block it all out, it just happened that way. I only remember periods of intense guilt and being sick for weeks, missing school with belly pains, nightmares, images that would appear in my mind years down the road. I don’t remember how we ended up in the back of the van, if we were coerced or if he had offered us something and we went willingly.
The things I do remember: how he had to walk around in the back of the van hunched over, how hot it was back there, the sweat dripping off of us and him especially as it ran his makeup down his neck and bare chest. I remember him telling me to stay in the back corner and that it worked better if I watched. I remember he and Cheyenne towards the front of the van’s back compartment, the sunlight peering in through the back windows, the clown’s heavy breathing. Most of all I remember what he said after, when he opened up the back doors and let us back out into the world.
“Now listen. If ya’ll try and tell, they’ll never believe you. If ya’ll tell they’ll send you away and take you from your families. God made me this way and if you tell, He’ll be very angry with you and do you know where he sends people He is angry with? That’s right. Hell.”
####
I never told. It became our secret and we never talked about it again, tried to bury it down deep, suppress it. We became successful at burying this to a degree and went about our lives, but the shame and pain had caught up with Cheyenne eventually and manifested itself in his substance abuse and the failings of his young life.
I should have told someone, God I should’ve let someone know. I let him down.
####
I awoke on the bedroom floor with a splitting headache. Lucy was gone, the room was empty, and the lights of the room were still on. I was momentarily disoriented and I sat up and looked around.
Had it all been a dream?
No, I was still naked and had a scratch up my entire leg to show that something had happened. Next to me on the carpet was the butcher knife. I picked up the knife and touched the blade with the tip of my finger. It was metal, but extremely dull. The blade retracted into the handle with pressure. Springloaded. A little note was tied to the handle.
SIKE!
-Lucy :)
I had gotten dressed and gotten my bearings when a paper was slid under the door. It was the bill for my room and had the drinks from last night listed on them. That bitch had put her drinks on my tab. For the briefest moment, I thought about complaining, but I only smiled. I was happy to be alive.
Below the statement and itemized listing was a handwritten note:
Thank you for staying at the Hotel Non Dormiunt! We hope you enjoyed your stay. As a thank you for your stay we have provided the following name and address. Do with it as you wish. We hope to see you again soon!
An address was listed for an individual named Otis Renfro. He lived somewhere in the southeastern United States. When I Googled his name in my car much later, I found an old HTML style website for “Clowns For Christ”.
As I walked to my car I was hailed by the bellboy. He waved his arms at me and was carrying a small gift bag. He handed it to me. It felt heavier than it appeared. I tried to look into it in front of me, but he swatted my hand.
“Wait,” he mouthed silently.
Was his tongue missing?
Later, I got down the road and looked in the bag. A revolver and a box of bullets that read 357 MAG.
####
After the funeral, I headed south. I passed several McDonald’s billboards with Ronald McDonald on them and I didn’t feel a drop of anxiety. I was ready to face my fear, ready for my fear to face me and look at me with pleading eyes and beg for its life.
Only then will my phobia be cured.

~~~[ll]
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2020.02.25 11:30 BrainTrainingonline Bonnie Blair Bio

Bonnie Blair Facts

Speed skating champion Bonnie Blair (brought into the world 1964) is the most profoundly beautified American Winter Olympic competitor in history with six awards. She holds five gold awards, for the 500-meter and 1,000-meter occasions, just as a bronze decoration for the 1,000-meter occasion. Since her retirement from rivalry in 1995 at 31 years old, she has transformed her excellent Olympic exhibitions into a fruitful profession as an inspirational orator and corporate representative.

Figured out how to Skate at Two

Bonnie Kathleen Blair was conceived on March 18, 1964, in the Hudson River town of Cornwall, New York, and experienced childhood in Champaign, Illinois. She was the most youthful of six youngsters, every one of whom figured out how to skate at an early age. Blair herself was acquainted with the game when she was only two years of age. She was so little at the time that her folks couldn't discover skates that fit her, so she needed to wear shoes under her skates. When she was four years of age, Blair was dashing, and she cherished it, contending with her more established siblings and sisters and others in rudimentary and middle school. Blair later ran on her secondary school track group, where, she later asserted, she didn't stand apart among her friends. She ran any place her mentor concluded he was feeling the loss of a body—on the long hop, high bounce, short separations, and transfers. She additionally took a stab at acrobatic for some time.

First experience with serious skating was as a pack racer on short tracks where she went up against numerous individuals in a single race. She was 16 years of age when she started Olympic-style dashing, which sets just two racers in opposition to one another in a challenge dependent on schedule. In her teenagers, Blair started to put forth a concentrated effort to the game of speed skating as she never had, to a great extent at the support of her companion Dave Silk, who contended on the men's U.S. group. "He's the hardest specialist in the group," Blair later told Angus Phillips in the Washington Post, "and he got me into that, as well. In Champaign, I'd miss an exercise or two. Be that as it may, Dave provided me genuine guidance."

Contended Internationally at 18

In 1982, when Blair was 18 years of age, her coaches needed to take her to Europe to contend outside of the United States just because. She consented to go, however she did not have the support to back the excursion. Along these lines, the police office in Champaign stepped in to fund-raise for her excursion, holding a progression of pools and heat deals. Additionally, Jack Sikma, an expert b-ball player for the Milwaukee Bucks, gave $1,500 for her excursion.

Blair's European outing had the ideal impact, honing her aptitudes for more challenge. The year following her arrival from Europe, she won the 1983 U.S. indoor speed skating title, a title she won again in 1984. Additionally in 1984, Blair contended at the Winter Olympics held in Sarajevo, Yugoslavia. She didn't win any decorations, however it demonstrated an important encounter for her. In 1985, Blair won the North American indoor speed skating title, and in 1986, she again won the U.S. indoor title. Presently a world-class speed skater, Blair proceeded to set a world speed skating record in 1987, dashing 500 meters in 39.43 seconds.

Won First Olympic Gold Medal

Blair won her first gold decoration at the 1988 Winter Olympics held in Calgary, Canada. Her success in the 500-meter occasion broke the world record, which had been set just minutes before by the East German skater Christa Rothenburger. With another world record of 39.1 seconds, Blair turned into the primary American lady since 1976 to win a gold award in speed skating. Likewise at the 1988 Olympics, Blair won the bronze award for the 1,000-meter occasion.

At the Olympics, Blair was applauded by her huge more distant family, including her folks, her sibling Chuck, her sister Mary, alongside Mary's better half and kids, her sister Susie, her sibling Rob and his significant other and kid, her sister Angela, and her uncle Lennie, alongside the companions of every last bit of her relatives.
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2020.02.20 10:42 Diotoiren [ROLEPLAY] "The Walkway of Heroes"

TOP STORIES Local Opinion World Canada Politics Wrestling
Vancouver, Canada 

"The Walkway of Heroes"

"LIVE REPORTING: From the People's City of Montreal, Canada as Walkway of Heroes officially unveiled"

CBC News Issued on: 06/25/2048 - 20:00 Vancouver, Canada
20:00
Millions of Canadians, Brazilians, New Zealanders, among others are lining the streets of Montreal as the Wrestling Superdome and the Walkway of Heroes Monument Area reach full capacity.
20:01
Reports coming in that Vancouver, Kelowna, Toronto, Edmonton, Ottawa, Calgary, Halifax, St. John's, St. Pierre, Georgetown, Belize Ville, and Dili in Canada, Cities 1-5 in Newer Zealand, and Brasilia, Rio De Jaireino, Sao Paulo, and others in Brazil, are all filled to the brim as spectators flock to their closest Wrestling Stadium to witness the event.
20:05
This event is set to be one of the longest Ceremonies in History, and Maxime Bernier will be opening us up, the Crowds are going wild.
20:06

GLORIOUS!

CROWDS ACROSS THE WORLD GO WILD!
Maxime "People's Champion" Bernier rushes the Ring of the Wrestling Superdome amidst thundering applause! The Wrestling Energy like the Aurora Borealis flowing into the Stadium as the collective Wrestling World cheered for the man who saved the Universe.
Maxime Bernier extends his palm out, as if holding the crowd in the palm of his hand!
CROWDS GO SILENT
Maxime Bernier: Finally!
Crowds start to chant
Maxime Bernier: Finally! Maxime has come....HOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CROWDS GO WILD AS THE SILENCE IS BROKEN
Maxime Bernier: I am so glad that you all could make it out! These next hours will be GLORIOUS!*
CROWDS CHEER
Maxime Bernier: I am not here to talk politics, I am not here to talk about the Axis of Evil. No, that I leave to our National Champion and my great friend Jair Bolsonaro.
CROWDS CHEER as he name drops Jair
Maxime Bernier: I am here to welcome you all to the Ceremony of Heroes! And to unveil the Walkway of Heroes!
The first Silk Sheet is taken off the first statue which is taller than the Statue of Liberty/Christ Redeemer, to reveal The People's Champ - Maxime Bernier, standing at the front entrance of the Wrestling Superdome.
CROWDS CHEER
Maxime Bernier: So why don't we get this night started!
  • Inducted - **Maxime "People's Champ" Bernier
    • For leading the Nation of Canada in it's fight for independence and Freedom and for uniting the nation.
21:50
Maxime Bernier has officially inducted the majority of the Heroes, including
  • President of the Federative Republic of Brazil Eduardo Bolsonaro
    • For leading the People of Brazil against the Axis of Evil, and for taking strong action to fight Climate Change
  • CEO of the United Wrestling Federation Lucy Tallow
    • For leading the Wrestling Revolution
  • His Ghostliness Bob Semple
    • For his work leading the nation of Newer Zealand and fighting the Axis of Evil
  • The Assassin Yves-François Blanchet
    • For his work uniting the People of Canada
  • The American Minutemen
    • For Fighting against the Socialist/Communist Sanders and Leftwing Axis of Evil
  • The Canadian Guard
    • For protecting the People of Canada
  • The Canadian Forces
    • For protecting the People of Canada
  • The Grapes and his Wrath Don Cherry and Ron MacLean
    • For being the voices of Wrestling.
  • Captain George St. Pierre
    • For leading the Canadian People in the fight against the Axis of Evil
  • Captain Canada Chris Hadfield
    • For representing Canada in Space
  • The Canadian People
    • For being the Canadian People
22:02 - Written by H0bster

GLASS BREAKS!

Jair charges down into the Wrestling Superdome as hundreds of thousands scream from the stands, outside million more let up a great cheer. Jair hops the top rope in a single bound from the floor. He lands in the ring, grabbing the ceiling microphone.
Jair Bolsonaro: Canada, are you ready for the greatest event in human history?
Millions scream, the sonic energy reads as a small earthquake on seismographs half a continent away
Jair Bolsonaro: Canada I can't hear you! You need to be loud enough that the Axis can hear you all the way in London.
The sound is deafening for those in the Western or Northern Hemispheres
Jair Bolsonaro: Alright, I think you've done it. You've sent the first message of the night to the Axis of Evil. The creation of the Walkway of Heroes should be a happy occasion, but unfortunately a great cloud hangs over the world as of now that must be addressed before our work is done and we can truly celebrate.
The lights turn off, save spotlights on Jair, a hush fall over the crowd
Jair Bolsonaro: We thought we were living in an age of global enlightenment, the UCR was dormant, the Union State was confined, France was humiliated, the UN roamed freely, Bob Semple had won the Newer Zealand civil war, and the common man had triumphed in the American Civil War. There was thought to be a New World Order, The Moral World Order. This Moral World Order, or m.W.o., was thought to be headed by Brazil, the American Republic, and most importantly, the world's mostly consistently morally superior nation, Canada. Other nations like the United Kingdom, Japan, and Newer Zealand were great supporters. We did not realize our own naivety. Within an instant the UCR woke from it slumber, not coincidentally at this same time the Unity virus infected the Union State and it was revealed that the nazis had continued to exist in Antarctica. These three evil powers were quickly revealed to be working together for sometime. They formed a sort of axis to promote their evil. An Axis of Evil, if you will. Canada what do you think of this Axis of Evil?
Boos and jeering fill the air. It is told that this startles the unnamed UCR Prime Minister so much that he accidentally hangs up on his Nazi allies
Jair Bolsonaro: So what is to be done about this Axis of Evil that threatens the very fabric of m.W.o.? It was said by many great philosophers 'All it takes for the Axis of Evil to triumph is for the Moral World Order to do nothing.' So are we to do nothing?
Crowd screams "No" they are so loud that the UCR Prime Minister stops diddling kids to check if he'd been caught
Jair Bolsonaro: We, the Moral World Order, must stand together and create a coalition of nations willing to fight the Axis of Evil. A Coalition of the Willing if you please. The early membership of this Coalition is clear, Canada and Brazil in the Americas, Newer Zealand in the Pacific, and Japan and India in the Orient. Every Good citizen the world over must do what they can to convince their government to join in the fight, the American Republic has conquered Axis of Evil influences, they must join the global movement if we wish to triumph. In Serbia they stand against part of the Axis of Evil yet support others, not realizing their hypocrisy they will only help our enemies. In the United Kingdom and Jumuiya they remain uncommitted, they must join the Coalition of the Willing or risk being lumped into a sort of Beyond the Axis of Evil, an organization that potentially already contains the SEAU who has taken action against none of the Axis of Evil. We must also remain wary of the countries, such as the Pacific Republic and Serbia, who use legalism to delay the fall of the Axis of Evil. They are horribly misinformed if they believe that the UCR, Unity, or Nazis are deserving of any respect or equitable treatment. The Moral World Order must be protected at all costs. No costs are too high!
The crowd shouts in support
Jair Bolsonaro: I leave you all with one final message 'Death to the Axis of Evil, Long Live the Moral World Order! Long Live Maxime Bernier! Long Live Eduardo Bolsonaro! Long Live Lucy Tallow! Long Live Bob Semple! Long Live Yves-François Blanchet!'
The crowd echoes this chant repeatedly, it is heard on Canada's Venus colony
22:59
Reports are coming in that women throughout Canada, Brazil, and Newer Zealand have all just ovulated and given birth to hundreds of thousands of children, following Jair Bolsonaro's extremely epic and based speech.
Furthermore the virility of all Wrestling Fans has increased dramatically in Canada, Brazil, and Newer Zealand as the after-effects of Jair's great speech continue to hit like the secondary shockwaves of an earthquake.
Canadian and Brazilians have also been reportedly seen dumping billions of non-recyclable plastic straws into the oceans in celebration of Jair and his fight against Climate Change.
23:00

ARIGATOOOOOOOO!

CROWDS GO SUPER WILD AS WEEABOO MAY CHARGES THE RING
MILLIONS OF CANADIAN MALES COLLECTIVELY ORGASM UPON SEEING WEEABOO MAY ON TV
OCEAN SCIENTISTS REPORT 50% HIGHER SALINITY READINGS IN THE ATLANTIC AS THE UCR SWEATS BUCKETS!
The National Champion - The Honorable Champion, Elizabeth "WEEABOO" May, takes the microphone.
WEEABOO May: ARIGATO! KONICHIWA! SHINZO SASAGEYO!
CROWDS GO WILD as the Power of Wrestling Energy begins to automatically translate WEEABOO May's speech into English, Brazilian, or Kiwian depending on the fan
WEEABOO May: Over these past days, weeks, months, and years...I have been asked, implored, begged to even, to take action against the United Commonwealth Realms - and further more the Axis of Evil.
CROWDS CHEER
WEEABOO May: The People of Canada, Brazil, Newer Zealand, and the entire Moral. World. Order.m.w.o. have all given one resounding message. Yet my comrade and compatriot Jair Bolsonaro and I both understand one thing, the consequences of what is to come are far more severe, far more sinister...than we could ever imagine.
Crowds begin to go silent as the seriousness takes hold
WEEABOO May: The Moral World Order is all that stands between the Axis of Evil and total Evil Domination. We, the Canadian People are all that stand between the United Commonwealth Realms and British Dominion of the Earth. The power of this Axis of Evil and of the United Commonwealth Realms cannot be underestimated...our Glorious National Champion and my Predecessor has fought them once before and it was only with his sacrifice as the Super Star, the master of all four conditions, that we where able to proclaim victory against the Beasts of the Commonwealth.
Crowds sit reflectively, tears being shed for Maxime Bernier
WEEABOO May: I will not lie to you, the road ahead is dark, at times we may fight alone, at times the Axis of Evil and the Beyond Axis may seem like all there is. However the Strength, the Morality, the Resolve, and the Power of the Moral World Order will be triumphant. Even now our great and faithful ally of Newer Zealand led by Bob Semple and some other lady, lead the fight against the Fourth Reich (the third Member of the Axis). Bob Semple is joined by Japan as they combat the Fourth Reich together as part of the Moral World Order. In the realm of Cyber Space and Gamers, our American Brethren the American Republic even now fights a War of Words against the Hivemind Plague of the Unity. And of course, our Brothers and Sisters in Brazil fight the fight of their lives against the greatest of Evils, the Axis of Evil's very own United Commonwealth Realms. Yet what about Canada? Will Canadians not fight? Will Canada see the world fall into the clutches of the Axis of Evil? Will Canada let appeasement win the day?
CROWDS BOO
WEEABOO May: Precisely, I think NOT. The People's Federation of Canada stands with the Moral World Order, We will STAND with our Brazilian Brothers and Sisters, with our Ghostly Liege Bob Semple, and with our DISCO Allies. The actions of the United Commonwealth Realms have pushed us to the edge, to the edge of what we as a nation, as a people can and will tolerate. As a nation we will fight the darkness and bring forth the Light.
CROWDS CHEER
WEEABOO May: The People's Federation of Canada will FIGHT!

CROWDS GO WILD AS THE COLLECTIVE ENERGY SHOOTS THROUGH THE OPEN STADIUM LIKE A GIANT BEACON OF LIGHT

23:59
WEEABOO May exits the ring, as Canadians, Brazilian, Kiwis, and the Moral World Order prepares for the coming storm.
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2020.02.17 07:00 chrislabeard [2/17/2020] Monday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread

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  1. [AMA] Courier Journal reporters JON HALE and CAMERON TEAGUE ROBINSON join us to talk Kentucky, Louisville, & CFB! Ask now, Answers begin at 2pm ET on Wed (2/12)
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2020.02.17 07:00 LonghornMod [2/17/2020] Monday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread

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  5. @MikeRoach247 Texoma brought it today https://t.co/mSr8iHcJys
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  2. Realizing you're about to be guarded by a 7'4" opponent
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/CFB
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  3. This Clemson fan in Los Angeles spent a lot of money tricking out his fancy car.
  4. Cincinnati DC Marcus Freeman turns down Mel Tucker's offer @ MSU
  5. [Dellenger] Inside the final hours of Mel Tucker as Colorado’s head coach
  6. Who is your teams single game best performance by a player?
  7. colored sidelines
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  2. [2/16/2020] Sunday's Off Topic Free Talk Thread
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  5. Dear CDC: It’s Time
  6. [post game thread] 🏀 Iowa state cyclones defeat the Texas Longhorns 81-52
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2020.02.17 04:39 Megzfreelancewriting Killer Piper short story / Creepy Pasta

Killer Piper

Introduction Ben is an attractive young man, a man that is easy on the eyes and easy to fall for. He’s a big city boy who moved to his Grandfather's farm outside a small Alberta town called Ghost Lake. Ben moved there to take over his Grandfather’s rat extermination business because he wasn’t able to do the work anymore. Ben and his Grandfather had a stressful relationship, he was a moody, mean spirited and just not someone you want to be around. That wasn’t good for business. With Ben there running the business, it was booming; so was the murder and missing persons rate. The people of Ghost Lake were afraid, whispers were heard all around the town of what they thought was going on and who they thought was the cause of the high crime rate. Was it Ben? Could it be his evil Grandfather? Something more sinister? Find out more in; Killer Piper.
Killer Piper Chapter One Ben by Meagan Jeffrey ©2012
Ben was the man to call when you had a rat problem. He was the only one really who would come any time day or night to get them. He loved his job and loved rats. Ben didn’t kill the rats he’d remove, though, instead, he would catch them, cage them, then take them back home to his farm outside of town. Ben lived in a town called Ghost Lake. The town was built around a glacier-fed, man-made lake located approximately forty-five kilometres west of the city of Calgary, Alberta. It was formed in 1929 with the completion of the Ghost Dam and was developed on land leased from the Morley Indians by Calgary Power Ltd. The town was an old and spooky town of 6,700 or so people. Most of the people there would drive to Calgary for work and shopping; it was mostly families of generations who lived in Ghost Lake. The town had a very haunting tale to it. Only those who had lived there all of their lives knew if the tales were true, but they wouldn’t speak about them. One of the most haunting stories was about children back in the 1940s who had gone missing and were never found. There were nineteen children from 1942-1946 who went missing without a trace. Some said it was the Lake monster, but others believed it was an old man they liked to call the ‘Killer Piper.’ They said he would steal the children from their homes in the night, take them to his farm, and feed them to his rats, who would devour them skin and bone, leaving no trace of them to be found. No one was ever able to prove this, so the man was never held accountable for the missing children. But when the nineteenth child went missing, the townspeople decided that they’d had enough and went to the man’s farm, burned down his barn where he kept all his pet rats, then hanged him in a tree outside of his house. It was said that his ghost still haunted the farm, but no one dared go up there. Except for Ben, who bought the old farm, fixed it up, rebuilt the barn and now lives there.No one speaks of the story anymore, it’s almost forgotten really. Most people just think that Ben’s farm is haunted but don’t really know by who or why. They’ve just passed the story along from generation to generation and it’s been changed along the way. The streets were busier with happy families, people shopping, going out for coffee, dinners, celebrating, stores were offering lots of sales, promotions and welcoming people in. Flowers, pretty lights, signs, posters strewn the streets, stores, shops and homes. The town had come a long way since its dark, horror days that no one would dare speak of for fear it would come back again. Ben was a friendly young man, twenty-six years old. He had well-groomed dark hair, brown eyes, was about six feet tall, muscular build, tattoos and always dressed in trendy jeans; some torn, some were faded, and some had paint splatters on them. He was your all-around country boy. He'd wear nice bright shirts in bright pastel colours, bright blues, greens, purples and orange. He was very trendy, flirty and friendly-looking. Ben wasn’t one of those guys who had a big ego to go with his looks, he was very kind and sensitive. He liked to treat his woman well, take them on nice dates, go for drives and layout on a blanket, under the night sky looking up at the stars. He knew how to romance women but, didn’t get the chance to date as much as he liked to. Mostly because of his job and in part because of his home life. His Grandfather was very controlling and was also a not so nice fixture at the farmhouse. So, because Ben couldn’t date as much he spent his money on his car. He drove a 1973 Dodge Challenger that he bought for $72,995.00. He repainted it, rebuilt the suspension with new bushings and lowered the ride height. He rebuilt the engine adding 6.1L Hemi. The inside was just as impressive as the outside; if not more so. He had a fully lined cabin with Dynamat and stealth 11-speaker stereo system installed The car was a beautiful paint with a white racing stripe, blue and white leather interior and steering wheel cover, blacked outback and backside windows with the other windows tinted as dark as the law allowed. It was an amazing machine for an amazing looking man. Ben wasn't a very outgoing guy, he was more secluded, stay to himself type of guy, sort of shy. He was friendly, sweet and kind and with his chiselled good looks he could have any girl he wanted, but he was always single for the most part. He kept his hair clean and neat and facial hair to a minimum or clean-shaven. Some of the town's people from the coffee shops and stores would always tell him about their single daughters, nieces and other family members hoping to set him up but, Ben never took the bait. People started wondering why he wouldn't want to have a relationship; then one day the man at the local hardware store asked him and found out that Ben did at one point have someone special. He was engaged to a beautiful woman about five years prior to moving to Ghost Lake. She had tragically died in a horrific car accident on the highway. A drunk driver swerved into her lane and hit her head-on, killing her instantly. Ben never recovered from his loss, so he never dated after that. Either way, Everyone loved him from the moment he moved to Ghost Lake about five years previous from Calgary. He moved to Ghost Lake because his rat-catching business wasn’t going so well in Calgary with all the other, bigger companies who were willing to kill the rats. Ben was kinder and more humane to them and refused to kill them. Sort of like his grandfather. So, Ben took his business to Ghost Lake, where he had read online that the town had a bad rat infestation problem. The townspeople were very grateful that he moved there to take the rats out of the town but they didn't know that Ben had a dark secret, he was hoarding the rats in the Quonset on his farm, and keeping them alive.
Chapter two Ben’s rats
Some of the older folks in town had started to talk about how Ben had mysteriously moved to Ghost Lake with a rat-catching business and how it was too familiar to the old man who had killed the children and they also didn’t know that the old man was Ben’s grandfather. But they didn’t speak outside one another, as not to frighten the other people in town or cause Ben any problems…in case they were wrong. Ben seemed to be such a nice man, a man they’d like to see in town for a long time, and one day pick a nice young lady to settle down with. Ben had moved outside of town on a 23-acre farm that needed a lot of work and TLC. The fence, or parts of the fence that were standing needed replacing around the farm, there was an old chicken coop in a mess of trees and overgrown grass out back of the house, a white one car garage with no door also out back of the house another two-car garage was off to the side of the house and down the driveway a bit, and a Quonset further down the drive with an old farmer's hand house behind that which needed to be torn down. Soon as Ben bought the farm he started the clean up right away when he wasn't working. He had a huge pile of burnable garbage in an 8 x 10 ft. the hole that was already in the backfield of the farm. Other garbage that wasn't burnable was piled out by the two-car garage for him to load up in his truck and trailer to take to the dump. He'd make about two trips a day. He was going so often they quit making him pay for his loads. Ben Ben was out in his barn one nice spring day feeding the rats when his cell phone rang. When he answered, it was a young mother panicking over rats in her house. She was terrified they were going to attack her young infant son and asked Ben to come quickly to kill the rats. Ben hung up with the woman after getting her address and got in his red Dodge Ram 2500 that he used for his work truck and quickly drove to Ghost Lake. When he arrived at the address, he saw the woman standing in her front yard with her baby in her arms. Ben noticed that the town was always very pretty and happy looking with flowers outside stores and homes, streets were kept very clean, garbage empty and cleaned all the time, pretty bright lights adorn the streets at night. Such a calm and friendly town and it always seemed as if the sun was shining, never a cloud in the sky, or overcast, dark gloomy days. It was almost surreal. When the woman saw Ben's truck pull in her driveway she ran up to Ben’s truck when he parked it in the driveway, hysterical, saying that she refused to go back inside the house until the rats were gone. Ben told her to take her baby down to the local coffee shop and come back in about half an hour. The woman agreed, got in her car, then drove away. Ben retrieved a cage and a bucket out of his truck and went inside the house. Once inside, he walked around slowly and quietly, listening for the rats. He went into the kitchen, placed the bucket on the table and the cage on the floor. He opened the lid to the bucket and took out a scoop of food, then set it inside the cage and sat in the chair. He began to whistle a soft, slow, very creepy song. After about a minute or two of whistling, the rats came around the corner into the kitchen from down the hall. At first, he only saw two rats, then he saw four babies behind them. They walked right into the cage, started to nibble on the food, then sat down. Ben stood up, closed the cage and gently lifted it up onto the kitchen table. He closed the lid to the bucket and walked through the rest of the house.He went into the living room, looked at the pictures and photographs hanging on the walls, sitting on tables and shelves. He lifted some to get a closer look and set them back down. Then he went down the hallway leading to the bedrooms. All the bedroom doors were open, so he peeked inside the first room. It was obviously the baby’s room as it had pale blue walls, little teddy bears hanging with balloons and clouds, a fancy wooden crib and matching dresser, changing table and a rocking chair.
He didn’t bother to go into the baby’s room. Instead, he walked to the next room, which was the mother’s room. The walls were a dusty rose with a lighter shade of red carpet. There was a beautiful antique wood canopy bed, with gold curtains hanging around it and a red comforter and gold pillowcases. There was a matching antique wood dresser with a big mirror, vanity table and two end tables with some fancy lamps on each of them. He saw a beautiful old jewelry box sitting atop the dresser. He walked over and opened it. Inside were fancy gold and diamond rings, bracelets, necklaces and earrings. He touched a few, held up some, then put them all back. He didn’t take anything. Next, he went to the closet and opened it. He looked inside at all the clothes hanging neatly, then saw an old hatbox sitting all alone on the top shelf. He pulled it down, walked over to the bed, put it on top of the mattress and opened it. He saw inside letters tied together tightly with a red ribbon, photographs under the letters and a ring box. He didn’t untie the letters, but he did read who they were addressed to. The top one said it had been sent to Mr. Dorling. Ben flipped the letters gently and saw they all had the same name to them. He put the letters on the bed next to the hatbox and looked at the photographs. They were very old, black and white photos of a young man and woman. In some they were standing side by side, in others, they were holding hands or kissing. On the back, they all said Mary and Jonathan Dorling. Ben placed the photographs on top of the letters and picked up the ring box; he opened it. Inside was a pair of gold wedding bands. He placed everything back in the hatbox just as it was and returned it to the closet. He left the room and went back to the kitchen, gathered his cage with rats and bucket, then headed to his truck. He set the cage and bucket in the back seat of the vehicle and stood next to it, waiting for the young mother to come back. Not long after, the woman returned. She parked her car next to Ben’s truck and before taking her baby out of the car, she asked Ben if he had caught the rats. He told her that there had been a family of rats, that he’d caught them all and she wouldn’t have a rat problem anymore. The woman was very pleased, handed Ben seventy-five dollars and thanked him. Ben thanked the woman for the money and work, wished her well, then headed back home.
Chapter ThreeBen’s dark secret Ben took the cage out to the barn and let the rats out into the giant cage he had built for them inside the barn. The barn had 8-foot deep concrete floors and 3 foot thick walls, so the rats couldn’t dig down or out. He had a steel door just behind the wooden doors of the barn, so the rats couldn’t chew through that. Once he let the new rats go inside the giant cage he went inside with them and sat on the floor, shutting the door behind him. The rats would come right up and eat out of his hands and he would smile at them and pet them. He cared very much for these animals and took good care of them. “Now, guys, be nice to your new roommates. You will all get out of here soon like I promised and do as I told you.” Ben said to the rats. The rats all looked at him, listening intently and they understood him. They all nodded in agreement with him. Ben stood up and left the barn, shutting the steel door tightly behind him and locking it. He went to his farmhouse, went inside and after taking off his boots, hanging his coat, he went in the kitchen to wash his hands, make a coffee, then went into the living room. He sat on his black leather armchair, setting his coffee on the table next to the chair and picked up a notebook and pen off the table. He opened the book to a list of names and added Susan. He looked at the names in the book with anger in his eyes. There were nineteen names on the list. He closed the book and held it tight in his hand, squeezing it hard, then set it back on the table with the pen next to it. He took a sip of his hot coffee then looked at the elderly man sitting on the black leather sofa across from him. The man was wearing dark blue, dirty overalls with a dark blue, dirty t-shirt under and a red and blue, also dirty lumberjack
jacket over. His hair, mustache and beard were a mess and unkempt. “When are you going to get started, Ben? What the hell are you waiting for?” The old man grumbled at him in a raspy voice. Ben sighed and took another sip of his coffee before answering. “I just got the last one tonight. We will start tomorrow night. I promise. I had to get the last one, you know that. Now relax old man.” Ben snapped back at the man. Ben was frustrated now, so he got up, took his coffee and went into the kitchen again. He took another sip of his coffee then poured the rest down the sink and set the cup on the counter. He went back into the living room, to cross to go up the stairs to his bedroom and saw the old man was already gone. “Good,” Ben grumbled to himself out loud as he thumped up the stairs. He went into his bedroom, changed into some boxers and a t-shirt then went into the bathroom, cleaned himself up, brushed his teeth and went to bed.
Chapter Four Getting the job done
The next morning Ben awoke around eleven. He stretched and sat up in his bed. Before he could put his feet on the floor he saw the old man standing in his doorway looking at him. “What do you want now? I just woke up.” Ben snarled at the old man.“Tonight, you start. Or else.” The old man warned him, then left down the hall. Ben shook his head and sighed. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom to shower and clean up, get dressed and went out to the barn. He went inside again and sat with the rats. “Tonight is the big night for some of you. I will be taking 15 of you with me tonight, so be ready. We will leave once it's dark and the people of Ghost Lake are sound asleep.” Ben announced to the rats, then stood up and walked out of the barn, locking the doors behind him again. It was almost midnight before Ben had returned back to the barn for his fifteen rats as he had promised. He held open a big cage and fifteen rats ran inside it without him saying a word. He took the rats with the notebook from the house in hand and closed and locked the barn doors. He loaded the rats into the back seat of his truck and drove into town. He parked on the corner of a nice street lined with old, fancy two or three-story homes. He opened the notebook and looked at the first name on the list, it said Tammy. Ben closed the notebook, sat it on the seat next to him, then leaned back in his seat so he could see the rats in the cage. “Now, you remember what to do?” Ben asked the rats. They all were looking at him and they all nodded, yes. “Okay, no fucking up guys. We have to get through this list.” Ben warned them. He climbed out of the truck and quietly closed his door and opened the back door, took the cage out and shut the door almost without a sound. He walked over to a house with a white picket fence and a red front door with the numbers 2314 on it. He looked down at the rats in the cage, nodded at them, set the cage down and silently opened the cage door. The rats ran out of the cage and right to the house and around to the kitchen window that was left open just enough that they could climb in.
Once inside the rats went to the front door, made a ladder out of themselves and the top two rats unlocked the door for Ben. He silently walked inside and left the door open just a crack. He pointed to the upper floor and the rats ran up with Ben not far behind them. The rats went into the bedroom at the end of the hall and Ben went into the first room. Ben saw a baby sleeping soundly in its crib, tip-toed over to the crib and snatched the baby and ran out of the house to his truck. He ran around to the passenger side of the truck and put the baby in a car seat he had in the back. He quietly shut the door, ran back around to the driver’s side, climbed in and drove away without his lights on and went back to his farm, leaving the rats at the house. The rats crept into the parents’ room where they were also sound asleep and climbed on top of the bed. The rats surrounded the parents and started to bite their necks hard, deep and fast, blood spraying all over the bedsheets, comforters, walls, floor and the rats. They were biting so hard and fast the man and woman didn’t stand a chance at defending themselves or fleeing. They tried to scream, but their throats were already cut open too deeply to make more than gurgling sounds and gasp for whatever breaths they could before choking on their own blood.
Once they were dead, the rats ran over to the dresser, stole whatever jewelry they could, found their wallets and took those as well. They ran out of the house and back to the farm where Ben was already waiting for them. He was standing outside the barn waiting for the rats to return. When they did they ran up to him and spit out the jewelry and wallets at his feet then ran to the barn door and sat and waited for him to open it. He gathered the items they brought him and opened the door for them. The rats ran back inside and waited again. Ben didn’t close the door this time. Instead, he went over to the passenger side of the truck, took out the baby and walked over to the barn. Before he went inside he looked behind him at the old man standing at the doorway of his farmhouse watching him. Ben knew he couldn’t piss off the old man, so he turned back around and went inside the barn where the rats were all sitting on their hind legs, waiting for him. He didn’t look at the crying baby once, he took the baby, placed it on the floor and quickly left the barn, closing and locking the doors behind him. He ran back to the farmhouse, so he wouldn’t have to hear the painful cries of the baby being devoured alive by the hundreds of rats in the barn. He slammed the front door behind him, ran right upstairs to his bedroom, slammed that door and turned on his TV really loud. He sat on the edge of his bed hunched over with his head in his hands.“I can’t believe you just fucking made me do that. You fucking asshole!!” Ben yelled at the old man who was now standing in his room with him.“Don’t you talk back to me young man. You know why you have to do this. And if you don’t finish the list, you will be just like them... DEAD! Do you understand me?” The old man snapped back at Ben. Ben didn’t look at the man, he just sighed and answered, “Yes sir.”When Ben looked up again the man was gone. Ben turned his TV down and stood at his bedroom window, he heard nothing, just hissing and squeaking of the rats and silence. He walked back over to his bed, took some sleeping pills from his nightstand and crawled under his blankets and fell asleep.
Chapter Five I don’t want to! The next day a mailman had noticed that the front door to the home Ben had been to the night before was open, so he knocked. When no one answered the mailman went inside to see if the family was okay. He walked around the house and when he got to the parent’s room and saw them sprawled out in their blood-soaked bed, he nearly fainted, ran out of the room, down the stairs and out to the street yelling for someone to help him. A neighbour heard his yells, and came out to the mailman, he told them what he saw and they called 9-1-1. A few minutes later, police and ambulance arrived. They carried the dead bodies out on stretchers and took them away to the hospital. The police questioned the mailman, searched the house and soon after that the newspaper and TV crews were there. They interviewed the mailman, took pictures of the house and interviewed the police. That afternoon everyone in the town had known about the tragedy in their town and were frightened. That night the town was silent, eerie and shut down early. People were afraid and the older people of the town were now whispering about the missing children and killer from the 1940s. Ben headed back into the town that night with twenty rats this time, and let them go into another house. The same routine, but this time they had to go in through a dog door in the back of the house, run through the house to the front to let him in. Ben was dressed in all black and was very careful not to be seen and parked further away this time. He had seen the news so he knew the people of the town knew what happened. Again he went into the child’s room and snatched a two-year-old girl. Covering her mouth so she couldn’t scream he ran out of the house and down the street to his truck and took her back to his farm; just like the night before with the baby. And just like the night before the rats were left to kill the parents. This time they didn’t just kill them by biting their necks, the had devoured their entire faces to the bone! They again took wallets and jewelry and went back to the farm to a waiting Ben. “What the fuck took you so long?” Ben demanded to know from the rats. The rats just looked at him and spit the wallets and jewelry at him and ran to the barn door that was already waiting open for them. Ben went over to the truck, took out the crying toddler, ran her inside the barn, ran out and closed and locked her inside again. He sprinted into the house, to his room and cranked the volume of his TV and sat on his bed again with his head in hands. The old man was standing in front of Ben laughing at him. Angry, Ben stood up and yelled at the old man. “What the fuck is so funny? How do you find any humour in this? You, you, asshole?”The old man wasn’t laughing anymore, he glared at Ben, the hovered over him and said in such a tone that it shook Ben to his soul. “If you ever talk down to me like that again I will not hesitate to fucking kill you.” Then the old man vanished in front of Ben’s eyes. The next thing Ben knew his dresser was flying across his bedroom at him, crashing against the bed and falling on the floor in front of him with a loud bang. “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry, Grandfather! I won’t do it again. I am sorry!” Ben said loudly.
The next day the bodies were found and another statement was made on the news. This time the town was in a panic. They were worried about the two missing children and sad and scared about the parents of the children who were brutally attacked. They still didn’t know it was rat attacks yet though. Now the older people of the town weren’t just whispering about how this was too much like the killings in the 1940s, they were openly speaking about it to everyone and anyone would listen. People were terrified and were making sure all their doors, windows and dog doors were locked uptight. That night before Ben went back to town for his third name on the list his grandfather had told him he would need to be extra careful and extra fast and he would need to take the glass cutter with him to let the rats in the homes. This time the man wanted Ben to go to the rest of the homes on the list all in one night. Ben was worried he wouldn’t be able to go to seventeen homes in one night without getting caught. But his grandfather told him how to do it and said it would be done.
Ben opened the barn door and whistled that eerie, slow song. Four hundred and fifty rats came out of the barn, all calm and all ready to follow Ben. This time the rats all squeezed in the back of the truck, and some in the back seat and front with Ben. He drove just to the outside of Ghost Lake and let the rats out. House by house on the list Ben went to one of the windows and cut a small hole big enough for the rats to get in. And one by one they went in, let Ben in and killed the parents after he took the toddlers and babies. By the time Ben got to the seventeenth house, he was exhausted, but again, he cut a hole in the window, let the rats in and took the baby. He ran back to his truck with the last baby and loaded it in with the other sixteen children who were scared and crying for their parents. Ben sped away back to the farm and quickly unloaded all the children into the barn. By the time he had the last kids inside the barn, the rats were already back and running inside the barn. Ben closed and locked the doors as before, but this time he got back in his truck and drove as far away from the farm as he could so he wouldn’t hear all the screams and cries of the babies and toddlers being eaten alive by the Four hundred and fifty rats. His grandfather watched him drive away and was not happy. But he let him go; for now.
The next day people were crying, screaming and there was mass panic all over Ghost Lake. The seventeen families that were attacked were found and the town’s people were not just terrified anymore, they were pissed! The older people of the town who still remembered the deaths and missing children from the 1940s demanded the town’s people meet at the Hall and listened to what they had to say about the killings and missing children. All the townspeople gathered in the hall and the 6 eldest people of the town told them about the man who had taken children in the night while they were sleeping back in the 1940s, took them to his farm, the same farm Ben lives at and fed them to his rats. They had said how it’s funny how Ben comes and takes away the rats in the town but no one had ever seen him leave with any rats bodies. They said it was funny how Ben lives at the same farm as the man who killed the nineteen children years ago, how its funny that again there are nineteen children missing, and how a man who apparently didn’t know anything about Ghost Lake just suddenly moved to Ghost Lake from Calgary and bought up the farm that no one would live in since the murderers the missing kids of the 1940s.
Chapter Six Revenge!! The town’s people were shocked and furious. They wanted revenge, but they knew they needed proof. Just then a young policewoman came running in the hall and stood up in front of everyone, waving papers she held in her hands and yelled in anger and fear, “Ben is not some stranger from out of town who just by chance bought the farm and was by chance a rat exterminator. Ben is the great-grandson of Jonathan Dorling! I found all his information in the police database! He is taking his grandfather’s revenge out on the town and killing all those who killed his grandfather in the ‘40s!”
The town’s people in the hall were silent and stunned. They couldn’t believe it was happening to the town again. The townspeople had made a plan, out of rage to do what the townspeople did back in the 1940s and kill Ben like they killed his grandfather, but this time more brutally! After a few hours, Ben went back to the farm, sure that it was enough time that he wouldn’t hear any more screams or cries of the children. He parked his truck up close to his house and slowly walked inside to where his very unhappy grandfather was waiting for him.“You ungrateful shit! Why would you leave?” His grandfather demanded to know. Ben looked at him and said sadly, “I can’t listen to the cries of the children. I’m not a monster like you.”Furious, his grandfather vanished again and started to throw around everything in the house. Chairs, dishes, cups, pictures, the TV, tables, sofa, everything was flying across rooms, hitting walls, smashing, crashing, hitting Ben and just missing him. The bed was ducked down in the corner of the living room when he heard something outside his house. He ran to the front door and saw lights of cars coming in his driveway.
His grandfather was standing next to him at the front door window laughing loudly. “They are here to kill you. Just like they killed me.” His grandfather told him still laughing an evil laugh so loud it was deafening. Ben covered his ears with his hands and yelled, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”His grandfather stopped laughing and vanished again. Rolling his eyes Ben watched as a mob of townspeople got out of their cars and trucks and surrounded his house. They were yelling at him, “KILLER!” and “MURDERER!” and that they were going to burn him alive in his house, slaughter him, beat him to death and hang him like his killer grandfather. Ben was terrified. He sat with his back against his front door on the floor and just waited for them to come for him. He knew there was nothing else he could do. Then he started to whistle. He whistled that eerie, slow song loudly. The rats heard the song and started to frantic against the concrete floor and walls of the barn. Because all four hundred and fifty of the rats were digging and biting at the same spot the floor eventually cracked and the wall broke, just enough they could get out in small groups. The rats scrambled out of the barn and went for the crowd of townspeople. A few of the people on the outside of the crowd saw the rats coming and started screaming. The people on the inside of the crowd were already pouring gas all around Ben’s house and were ready to set fire to it.
Ben stood up and looked out the front door window and saw people screaming and running from the rats. Then he saw one woman standing there watching him, watching them. She had a lighter in her hand, she walked up to the house where the gas was poured and lit it on fire. She didn’t run, she didn’t scream, she just stood there and watched the fire spread around the house, burning the outside slowly, getting higher and higher.
Ben didn’t back away from the door, he couldn’t move. He was in a trance watching this woman. The windows of the house cracked and broke from the heat and the fire was seeping into the house, burning walls, floors, ceilings, everything and getting closer to Ben at the front door. He started to cough from the smoke, and his eyes watered. He looked away to rub his eyes and cover his mouth. When he looked back out the window the woman was gone. His grandfather was standing next to him, smiling. “I knew this would come, they would come and kill you. I needed you to finish what I started and to play out my revenge. You did your job and now, you can forever pay for your sins in hell with me.” His grandfather told him in a mean, evil, emotionless voice.
Ben looked at his grandfather and just smiled. “I knew your plan all along, Grandfather, and that’s why I changed your list. The names on your list weren’t the families of those who killed you long ago. Oh, no. They were the families of your own bloodline!” Ben said now laughing hysterical. His grandfather looked at him with such shock and such pain. He screamed so loud it shook the walls of the house and all the people outside the house and all the rats froze in place. Then he vanished, leaving Ben to burn in the house. Ben whistled his early, slow song, calling all the rats to come into the burning house with him. They all ran inside as fast as they could, the people of the town watching them in confusion, horror, shock and happiness. Once the last rat was inside with him Ben looked out the window one last time and smiled at the people. They knew he was ending this circle of terror once and for all for them and repaying them for the pain and heartache his grandfather had caused. The door burst into flames, and they could see flames all around and behind Ben, as the house began to crack and crumble. Ben screamed in pain as he was burnt alive. The people could hear his screams and the screeching of the rats almost all the way until the house was completely engulfed in flames. The people cheered, clapped and slowly left the farm, left it all to burn.
As time went by the people of the town tore down everything at the farm. Taking away all memories and trace of what went on there. They moved on from the horror and pain of what Ben and his grandfather had done to the town. They rebuilt and started to live happy and normal lives again.
Chapter Seven You missed some What they didn’t know was that they didn’t get everything at the farm. Ben had built an underground cellar to the barn that was fireproof, and where he not only had an army of rat down there ready to attack and devour everyone, but he also had the body of his grandfather buried down there, so his soul would never rest and he would always come back and do the same things over and over; always come back and kill off the town’s people. And his grandfather’s ghost was pissed his farm, house, everything was gone and wanted revenge like never before. He released the rats from the cellar and led them to the outside of town and watched, as thousands of rats attacked, killed, devoured the town’s people alive; every one of them. Everyone young, old, male, female, child, baby, toddler or teen. The rats got every last one. Jonathan stood watching, pleased. Then he waited for the next group of people to come and start the town all over again.
submitted by Megzfreelancewriting to u/Megzfreelancewriting [link] [comments]


2020.02.03 22:20 TheNormalAlternative Best Rock / Indie / Alternative / Punk shows in NYC (2/03 - 2/09)

Welcome to February. We're not fooling around anymore - this week is seriously lit.
Highlights among bigger names / tours include Calexico + Iron & Wine, Cold War Kids, Empath, Have Mercy's farewell tour, The Jungle Giants, Metronomy, Nation of Language with pronoun, Slow Crush, They Might Be Giants and Thrice with MewithoutYou. This week also features the kick-off of Our Wicked Lady's "Winter Madness" Battle of the Bands, the grand opening of new Ridgewood venue Planet X, a handful of release shows and some really good local indie lineups.
Full calendar below. Double Asterisks (**) signal Top Recommendations.
MONDAY 2/03
VENUE LINEUP
Knitting Factory (Williamsburg) Aaron Waldman / James Beer / Marcus Brown
Rockwood Music Hall (LES) **Nada Surf (SOLD OUT)
TUESDAY 2/04
VENUE LINEUP
Sixty Sixth Congress (Greenpoint) Glenn Echo / The Planes / Slalomville / Mike Lee
Webster Hall (East Village) **Cold War Kids / Overcoats
WEDNESDAY 2/05
VENUE LINEUP
Baby's All Right (Williamsburg) Tredici Bacci / Material Girls / Sugarlife
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) Metronomy / Joy Again
Mercury Lounge (LES) QWAM / Motherhood / Bad Bloom
Our Wicked Lady (East Williamsburg) **Nihiloceros / Church Girls / The Hell Yeah Babies
The Sultan Room (Bushwick) **Ghost King (single release) / Ghost Funk Orchestra / Lushwork
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) Space Sluts / Extra Special / Shapes in Calgary
Webster Hall (East Village) **Cold War Kids / Overcoats
THURSDAY 2/06
VENUE LINEUP
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) Nevva / Bipolar / Spite FuXXX / Bad Kiss
Berlin (LES) Grocer / Stimmerman / Roofers Union / Tetchy
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) The Living Strange / Hennessey / Grace Ludmila / Jigsaw Youth
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) Poppy / VOWWS
The Dance (NoHo) **Nation of Language / pronoun / Pom Pom Squad
Elsewhere [Zone One] (East Williamsburg) Empath / Momma / Spirit Was
Planet X (Ridgewood) - GRAND OPENING **Future Punx / Honduras / Realworld (FREE)
Rubulad (Bushwick) Wisebuck (album release) / Ben Seretan / Thanks For Coming / Velvet
Saint Vitus (Greenpoint) **Big Huge / Brower / Sweet Baby Jesus / Pink Mexico
The Sultan Room (Bushwick) **Stuyedeyed / Material Girls / Gift
Webster Hall (East Village) **Calexico + Iron & Wine / Half Waif (SOLD OUT)
FRIDAY 2/07
VENUE LINEUP
Baby's All Right (Williamsburg) Pure Adult / Grim Streaker (FREE)
Bowery Ballroom (Bowery) The Jungle Giants / Little Image
The Dance (NoHo) **Loose Buttons (album release) / Stolen Jars / Been Stellar
East Williamsburg Econolodge (East Williamsburg) Adult Magic / Awful Din / Trick Blue / Venus Twins
The Footlight (Ridgewood) **Holy Tunics / Pocket Protector / Winnebago Vacation / Psycho Pat
The Gutter (Williamsburg) Gray Hunter / Castle Black / Leach / Haunted Houses
Home Sweet Home (Bowery) Femme Fatale Anti-Valentine's Day Party feat. Damn Jackals / Groupie / Songs for Sabotage / Climates
Our Wicked Lady (East Williamsburg) Winter Madness Battle of the Bands Round 1a: Grandpa Jack vs Strings n Skins // Free $$$ vs Due Frank
Saint Vitus (Greenpoint) **Slow Crush / Grivo / Suburban Living / Hypoluxo
SATURDAY 2/08
VENUE LINEUP
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) youbet (album release) / Lina Tullgren / Maneka / Joanna Sternberg
Bowery Ballroom (Bowery) They Might Be Giants (performing FLOOD) (SOLD OUT)
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) **Thrice (Vheissu 15yr Ann'y Tour) / mewithoutYou / Drug Church / Holy Fawn (SOLD OUT)
The Dance (NoHo) **Native Sun / Public Practice / Pure Adult // Fontaines D.C. (DJ set)
The Gutter (Williamsburg) Husbandry / Solarized / Pest! / Oleska
Our Wicked Lady (East Williamsburg) Winter Madness Battle of the Bands Round 1b: The Bobby Lees vs Kira Metcalf // Looms vs The Silk War
SUNDAY 2/09
VENUE LINEUP
Pianos (LES) Giggly Boys / Walton Howling
Rough Trade (Williamsburg) **Have Mercy (final NYC show) / Selfish Things / Fredo Disco / Young Culture
UPDATED 2/5 - Added a show tonight at Trans-Pecos.
UPDATED 2/6 - Updated tonight's line-ups at ALPHAVILLE & The Dance

As always, this isn't meant to be a comprehensive list, just my selection of rock shows I personally think are worth checking out. It's not my intent to slight any band or any fan. Just trying to spread the information to help guide people and fill up those back rooms! Think there's a show missing from this list? Feel free to mention it in the comments.
submitted by TheNormalAlternative to LoG_JaM [link] [comments]


2020.01.29 16:00 DeadlineCommish The /r/hockey Trade Deadline Game - Day 3 Thread

NOTE: This is FAKE HOCKEY. To talk about actual hockey, go to the latest Daily Discussion thread
Trade Deadline Tonight will continue TONIGHT!
The /hockey Trade Deadline Game is back for day 3! Starting today at 8:00 AM MT trading is officially open again. Trading will run until Thursday, January 30th at 6:00 PM MT.
You are not late! You can still sign up at http://www.tdgdb.com
Regular Signups End TONIGHT!
If you do not sign up today, there is still a system to play tomorrow, but you can go to ANY TEAM so be careful! Sign up now!
When you are traded, change your flair on hockey-related subreddits and spend the week from January 31st through February 7th cheering for your new team.
Here are this year's reporters, the people who will make things up break news of trade negotiations:
But remember

NO TRADE IS OFFICIAL UNTIL POSTED IN THIS THREAD!

It's not too late to sign up to be a player The sign-up form is still active and will remain open until Wednesday night. You can find that here
For TDG-related shenanigans, go here [WARNING: some NSFW Language]
Happy trading!
stlouisblues receives SSgtTEX from predators
stlouisblues receives AlienBamz from predators
predators receives PaintedCatDaddy from stlouisblues
bostonbruins receives MichaelMaugerEsq from flyers
bostonbruins receives elentiyaa from flyers
bostonbruins receives kbuck30 from flyers
flyers receives SheepishEmpire from bostonbruins
flyers receives RevengeOfTheLamp from bostonbruins
flyers receives HowSweetIsCaroline from bostonbruins
flyers receives a vial of the tears Tom Brady shed after losing Super Bowl 52
flyers receives Tom Brady's Uggs
bostonbruins receives the puck from Brad Marchand's shootout in Philadelphia
sabres receives Of-Astora from detroitredwings
sabres receives goffizkool from detroitredwings
sabres receives YungCraig from detroitredwings
sabres receives supertrexs from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives cosmic-eggs from sabres
/detroitredwings receives Big Ditch Brewing Company
/sabres receive the mackinac bridge
bostonbruins receives Spear994 from detroitredwings
bostonbruins receives ThatAlaskan from detroitredwings
bostonbruins receives dapipminmonkey from detroitredwings
bostonbruins receives HelpIThinkImASoup from detroitredwings
bostonbruins receives discinfanatic from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives FratumHospitalis from bostonbruins
detroitredwings receives dewdisdewd from bostonbruins
detroitredwings receives Isolatedbamafan from bostonbruins
/detroitredwings receives Sam Adams Brewery
/bostonbruins receives the rights to Royce Da 5'9"
sabres receives sarbear0903 from hawks
hawks receives byrdmang2 from sabres
floridapanthers receives 22edudrccs from bostonbruins
floridapanthers receives AaronQ94 from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives MentalCorruption from floridapanthers
bostonbruins receives jordang99 from floridapanthers
Florida sends a brewery to likely be traded to Detroit at a later time and Flip Flop Crocs.
bostonbruins receives TheAsianMelon from sanjosesharks
bostonbruins receives DreamsiclesPlz from sanjosesharks
bostonbruins receives haileysjs from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives sippy666 from bostonbruins
sanjosesharks receives thewilderthing from bostonbruins
sanjosesharks receives Boston-Nolan from bostonbruins
sanjosesharks receives HelpIThinkImASoup from bostonbruins
Tomas Hertl receives the 2020 NHL All Star MVP Award. bostonbruins receives the remnants of Logan Couture's teeth from the 2016 and 2019 playoffs.
coyotes receives blueraider19 from detroitredwings
coyotes receives annacd from detroitredwings
coyotes receives fullmojo from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives RobotTuna from coyotes
detroitredwings receives InflatableDingo from coyotes
/detroitredwings receives Oak Creek Brewery
/coyotes receives a Jack White guitar
goldenknights receives RoleModelFailure from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives mfix1994 from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives Dosez from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Adamdidit from goldenknights
/detroitredwings receives 7Five Brewery
/goldenknights receives a fresh octopus
bostonbruins receives TUGJOYS_BASTARDWASH from predators
bostonbruins receives Acriisius from predators
predators receives Rottencatfetus from bostonbruins
predators receives Skip_Bayleef from bostonbruins
/bostonbruins receives a ten gallon hat and a crockpot of southern baked beans
/predators receives one (1) dancing Mighty Mighty Bosstone
coloradoavalanche receives S0nicB00mium from detroitredwings
coloradoavalanche receives thereal2eight from detroitredwings
coloradoavalanche receives Firch88 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives v-mizer from coloradoavalanche
detroitredwings receives argos101 from coloradoavalanche
detroitredwings receives _crispy-bacon_ from coloradoavalanche
/detroitredwings receives New Belgium Brewery
/coloradoavalanche receives the remaining rubble from Joe Louis Arena
losangeleskings receives LegalDeagles from penguins
losangeleskings receives Raptor_Girl_1259 from penguins
penguins receives StageWinner_MTJ from losangeleskings
penguins receives ShitPostYezus from losangeleskings
flyers receives Scrembopitus from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives Gostlsbehere from flyers
tampabaylightning receives RorenBanedrone from flyers
TB receives: A weekend with Gritty (provided he's available)
losangeleskings receives comeonsharkies from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives AStelthyNinja from losangeleskings
sanjosesharks receives pppontus from predators
sanjosesharks receives Tht_GuyUNo from predators
predators receives RawrsomeHearts from sanjosesharks
/sanjosesharks receives the Giant Predators Head
/predators receives one (1) Steve from Smash Mouth
penguins receives CleanSnow from detroitredwings
penguins receives Bumnamedjake from detroitredwings
penguins receives Akavire from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives shotzoflead94 from penguins
detroitredwings receives magsfran from penguins
detroitredwings receives Fallingsquirrel1 from penguins
/detroitredwings receives Voodoo Brewery
/penguins receives the position of CFO of the Detroit Tigers and 5 employees willing to start a mutiny against ownership
sanjosesharks receives oftbitb from hawks
sanjosesharks receives fionn14 from hawks
sanjosesharks receives DaManDaMifDaLegend from hawks
sanjosesharks receives shadownet97 from hawks
hawks receives mattrix56 from sanjosesharks
hawks receives 7Demented from sanjosesharks
hawks receives Sinktop111 from sanjosesharks
edmontonoilers receives Rooftop_Astronaut from sabres
sabres receives djupside from edmontonoilers
The city of Wood Buffalo is officially traded to the sarbears organization
stlouisblues receives Airman_Snuffy1213 from hawks
hawks receives electricfurry1 from stlouisblues
hawks receives anana0016 from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives pm_me_whatver from hawks
leafs receives Ezflow from stlouisblues
leafs receives Bryce_Dead19 from stlouisblues
leafs receives thecbjfan from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives Cynova055 from leafs
sanjosesharks receives nermot from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives Phonsy04 from sanjosesharks
tampabaylightning receives ladypembroke from sanjosesharks
Tampa Bay receives a baby Tiger Shark. Sharks receive two first-round picks if this shark is ever hit by lightning.
ottawasenators receives jzigger101 from detroitredwings
ottawasenators receives CopsPushMongo from detroitredwings
ottawasenators receives Marshreddit from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Owencawll from ottawasenators
detroitredwings receives popman820 from ottawasenators
detroitredwings receives Miek14 from ottawasenators
/detroitredwings receives Tangled Roots Brewery
/ottawasenators receives Jack White or Meg White. A coin flip will be held later to determine which one.
flyers receives PoorTyranasaur from detroitredwings
flyers receives DA_KID_1337 from detroitredwings
flyers receives Liquorbeerandwine from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Based_Ment from flyers
detroitredwings receives brob890 from flyers
detroitredwings receives Clukadoo from flyers
/detroitredwings receives Love City Brewing Company
/flyers receives a heated otter pool in center field of Comerica Park
newyorkislanders receives Keepitveryrealreal from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives Kelspyo from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives Derploticus from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives ElDon114 from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives CrackheadCameron from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives EyelandIsland from newyorkislanders
/NewYorkIslanders receive trade mark to the name Schlong Peninsula
/ColoradoAvalanche receive the town of Westbury, New York
hawks receives Awolfx9 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives thewhitebells from hawks
ottawasenators receives afedje88 from coloradoavalanche
predators receives Speedy26xc from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Slatts10 from ottawasenators
predators receives Rockzilla78 from ottawasenators
coloradoavalanche receives Sve7en from predators
ottawasenators receives Sargentrock from predators
Colorado Avalanche to receive the towns of Kanata, Ontario from Ottawa Senators, and Brentwood, Tennessee from Nashville Predators.
Nashville Predators to receive the drummer from Neutral Milk Hotel from Colorado Avalanche, and the rights to the Barenaked Ladies don't "If I Had A Million Dollars" from Ottawa Senators.
Ottawa Senators to receive a signed affidavit affirming that the Avalanche did not screw up Matt Duchene and funds to destroy the infamous "Uber Video" from Colorado Avalanche.
flyers receives cosmic-melodies from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives MaiqDaLiar1177 from flyers
newyorkislanders receives andrewejc362 from flyers
/NewYorkIslanders receive the Walt Whitman Bridge
/Flyers receive the Brooklyn Bridge
coyotes receives Badjokechip from canes
coyotes receives CountYorga from canes
canes receives paradiseforawolf from coyotes
canes receives A_large_load from coyotes
canes receives Alice Cooper. coyotes receives a sensual Stormy album
bluejackets receives ohiopatsfan87 from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives willingplankton from bluejackets
CBJ sends Browns gear found by a dumpster along with Baker Mayfield's disheveled mustache.
Also formed a mutual declaration that neither Emil Bemstrom nor Charlie McAvoy are the Antichrist or is building world peace outside the scope of this game
bostonbruins receives thestridereststrider from stlouisblues
bostonbruins receives waltstrika from stlouisblues
bostonbruins receives AlienBamz from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives blacksunZero from bostonbruins
stlouisblues receives Savozy28 from bostonbruins
stlouisblues receives Slippery_Bird from bostonbruins
stlouisblues receives tubzthacat from bostonbruins
Boston Bruins send the neighborhood of Southie and a vial of Marchand's tears in exchange for a concession by the St Louis Blues that Joe Thornton did nothing wrong.
edmontonoilers receives SiccSemperTyrannis from coloradoavalanche
edmontonoilers receives Rokket from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives CloutWaffle from edmontonoilers
hawks receives rooster69 from edmontonoilers
hawks receives flanneltuxedo from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives APimpNamed-Slickback from hawks
edmontonoilers receives DudeGang from hawks
bostonbruins receives KnockingonKevinsdoor from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives Rammer7777 from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives a wet McDavid jersey, retrieved from the West Edmonton Mall lagoon.
hawks receives Ghostronic from goldenknights
hawks receives teatew from goldenknights
goldenknights receives misusedinfluence from hawks
Vegas receives 1 Chicago Wolves jersey.
Chicago receives 1 Vegas Golden Knights jersey.
caps receives CrackheadCameron from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Bigsueatyahoodotpoo from caps
Colorado Avalanche to receive the town of Perry Hall, MD.
Washington Capitals to receive crack cocaine.
bostonbruins receives LordBlack77 from detroitredwings
bostonbruins receives stick-down from detroitredwings
bostonbruins receives x96malicki from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives snakeoilkid from bostonbruins
detroitredwings receives somethinggangster from bostonbruins
detroitredwings receives ertax101 from bostonbruins
/detroitredwings receives Trillium Brewing
/bostonbruins receives Supino Pizzeria and Jack White's used hairnets
sanjosesharks receives 18_Jacob from goldenknights
goldenknights receives DeadCHKN from sanjosesharks
goldenknights receives striimIT from sanjosesharks
San Jose acknowledges William Karlsson as Wild Bill and will never confuse him with another Karlsson. Sharks receive Vegas' giant knight helmet from their entrance.
dallasstars receives johnrahl from devils
devils receives L_WaRRioR007 from dallasstars
And a day trip to Marrietta.
calgaryflames receives HypeForTheHypeGod from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives the_violet_wizard from calgaryflames
The /calgaryflames GM also receives tickets to the St. Louis City Museum
leafs receives Ayodep from detroitredwings
leafs receives Solor from detroitredwings
leafs receives MajorasShoe from detroitredwings
leafs receives monty818 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives sleepingchair from leafs
detroitredwings receives hippielilthang from leafs
detroitredwings receives Shortgamer from leafs
detroitredwings receives Rednaxxela from leafs
/detroitredwings receives Steam Whistle Brewery
/leafs receives a watch to make it to trade meetings on time.
floridapanthers receives Latenighttaco from flyers
flyers receives commissionerdan from floridapanthers
floridapanthers receives two cheesesteaks from Campo's and the Wawa at 34th and Market
flyers receives a single palm tree
coyotes receives jrose_1303 from sabres
sabres receives a bag of pucks and a case of Kachina Throwback Ale from coyotes
winnipegjets receives i_speak_nerd from flyers
flyers receives Pamplemousse47 from winnipegjets
winnipegjets GM receives a philly sports t-shirt
flyers GM gets an adorable plush otter
losangeleskings receives ace_in_space_ from devils
devils receives cdl5060 from losangeleskings
Kings agree to give Chase Utley his permanent home in LA
newyorkislanders receives Thedustin from edmontonoilers
newyorkislanders receives modest_rodent from edmontonoilers
newyorkislanders receives scurvy-dog from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives brenb1120 from newyorkislanders
/NewYorkIslanders receive a strand of Connor McDavid's hair
/edmontonoilers receive a strand of Mat Barzal's hair for when we invent genome sequencing
coyotes receives zeusalopolis from devils
coyotes receives L_WaRRioR007 from devils
coyotes receives DaterBeforeDater from devils
coyotes receives ijustlikehockey from devils
devils receives a bag of pucks and a case of Kachina Throwback Ale (packaged in a brick red cooler, to make sure they stay cold of course) from coyotes
bostonbruins receives quills22 from coloradoavalanche
bostonbruins receives Missfreeland from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives kozarr from bostonbruins
coloradoavalanche receives 2forslashing from bostonbruins
Boston Bruins to receive Dan Soder's official conversion from Coloradoan to Bostonian, including repentance from his "Colorado ways".
Colorado Avalanche to receive official written statement from the Boston Bruins admitting Brad Marchand's tongue really is that disgusting.
hawks receives tankmnandan from caps
hawks receives npoulosky97 from caps
hawks receives wordiestfurbal from caps
caps receives StarchyAndDelicious from hawks
caps receives DormantLight227 from hawks
caps receives RolliePollie57 from hawks
caps receives brnchn from hawks
caps receives unbornninja14 from hawks
hawks receives 458MAG from predators
predators receives t_rage from hawks
predators receives FearMeIAmLag1 from flyers
flyers receives hghpandaman from predators
hawks receives RPM021 from flyers
flyers receives CzarMesa from hawks
Philadelphia accepts the Bean and the creepy face in the Crown Fountain in exchange for Chicago moving the entire state of New Jersey into southern Illinois.
detroitredwings receives rlinkmanl from canes
detroitredwings receives twowords4you from canes
detroitredwings receives calen17 from canes
canes receives defenceman101 from detroitredwings
canes receives GuntTheGoon from detroitredwings
canes receives stoelcameron from detroitredwings
canes receives Charging Bull. detroitredwings receives Fortnight Brewing.
goldenknights receives Das_Fruddster from devils
goldenknights receives ShogunSchultz from devils
goldenknights receives mikebe1 from devils
goldenknights receives bedwetter904 from devils
goldenknights receives WearsALabCoat from devils
devils receives CraftCryptids from goldenknights
devils receives stastnygetnasty from goldenknights
devils receives TikiiTorch from goldenknights
devils receives TheDemonPengu from goldenknights
devils receives terrapinflyer from goldenknights
NJD to receive a new colored lamp at T-Mobile Arena. Every time the light shines on the Devil's flag, it will be rainbow.
VGK to receive a glove bitten by PK Subban
dallasstars receives am_i_phone from caps
dallasstars receives NiceToEveryone_ from caps
dallasstars receives TheTimn from caps
caps receives Nema003 from dallasstars
caps receives DarioAgger from dallasstars
caps receives Geekeee from dallasstars
caps receives ThatImpGuy from dallasstars
caps receives BlueBlood90 from dallasstars
stlouisblues receives Skraelings from flyers
flyers receives cloakingdevice from stlouisblues
flyers receives a gooey butter cake
stlouisblues receives a case of tastykakes
devils receives Ralisor from bostonbruins
devils receives FSDomino from bostonbruins
devils receives perkdoeswork from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives OneUglyPeanut from devils
bostonbruins receives niarem22 from devils
bostonbruins receives efiug from devils
bostonbruins receives Cobbenstein from devils
bostonbruins receives StrazPM from devils
NJD to receive free tours on the Freedom Trail.
devils receives SiccSemperTyrannis from edmontonoilers
devils receives brenb1120 from edmontonoilers
devils receives Ohgodwhatisthisidont from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives romple from devils
edmontonoilers receives scroopy_nooperz from devils
edmontonoilers receives WendelClarksMustache from devils
edmontonoilers receives slmanifesto05 from devils
edmontonoilers receives TheRobberBar0n from devils
ottawasenators receives AssassinPanda97 from flyers
flyers receives Ascent007 from ottawasenators
flyers receives WeirdlyWeekly from ottawasenators
Ottawa agrees to change their logo to an otter.
dallasstars receives efiug from bostonbruins
dallasstars receives epixpowned from devils
dallasstars receives American_ebola from devils
dallasstars receives Cobbenstein from bostonbruins
dallasstars receives StrazPM from bostonbruins
devils receives Coast_2_Coast from dallasstars
devils receives Deedledude from dallasstars
devils receives Chase1738 from dallasstars
devils receives adotfree from dallasstars
Stars also receive Phillies only bridge and Zach Ertz
floridapanthers receives dotty47 from penguins
floridapanthers receives GarrettMF3369 from penguins
detroitredwings receives remus989 from penguins
detroitredwings receives apomov from penguins
detroitredwings receives dehAllstar from penguins
penguins receives circa285 from detroitredwings
penguins receives Slothsterz from detroitredwings
penguins receives dewdisdewd from detroitredwings
floridapanthers receives cbdudek from detroitredwings
floridapanthers receives TheFakeCRFuhst from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives robofish723 from floridapanthers
penguins receives TotallyNotADentist from floridapanthers
detroitredwings receives notaquarterback from floridapanthers
detroitredwings receives OptimusReims34 from floridapanthers
detroitredwings receives astropancake from floridapanthers
Detroit receives Rivertowne Brewing from Pittsburgh
flyers receives MooseKingdom from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives Just4HUT from flyers
tampabaylightning receives Phicoaz420 from flyers
To PHI: 1 coach class plane ticket to Tampa in March
leafs receives Spear994 from bostonbruins
leafs receives shawnglade from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives elacmch from leafs
bostonbruins receives ArmMeForSleep709 from leafs
Leafs sends over the deed to the land on which Steam Whistle Brewery is housed, which is owned by detroitredwings and operated by VTPete and a life-sized bouncy house of the CN Tower
Bruins sends a copy of the Communist's Manifesto, signed by Tim Thomas.
leafs receives huntr360 from canes
leafs receives jawsthemeswlmming from canes
leafs receives Spooktt from canes
canes receives emaginutiv from leafs
canes receives ajoytotheworld3 from leafs
canes receives TMLKolin from leafs
devils receives 22edudrccs from floridapanthers
floridapanthers receives atsumorr44 from devils
floridapanthers receives 39thUsernameAttempt from devils
floridapanthers receives DMCSnake from devils
floridapanthers receives inkedump from devils
floridapanthers receives RubberBiscuitz from devils
sabres receives Nightmareninja5 from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives tmorga67 from sabres
flyers receives Shajnei from calgaryflames
flyers receives ORanGeAsSiMilation from calgaryflames
flyers receives beardie88 from calgaryflames
calgaryflames receives DadsaMugleMumsaWitch from flyers
Flyers to recieve simply nailogical from Calgary CalgaryFlames receives 2 tickets to the Philly auto show
sabres receives somethinggangster from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives AgedashiTofu from sabres
/detroitredwings receives Monday Night Brewing and requests people don't ask why a NY team owned the papers for an ATL brewery
/sabres receives 2 boats to get to Mackinac Island
predators receives Hiei2k7 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Butwinsky from predators
/detroitredwings receives Blackstone Brewery
/predators receives Shaggy 2 Dope
ottawasenators receives TheMeepz from sanjosesharks
ottawasenators receives rowboat_township from sanjosesharks
ottawasenators receives Blitzboks from sanjosesharks
ottawasenators receives CerroScap from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives Morpher111 from ottawasenators
sanjosesharks receives JohnMarshallMathers from ottawasenators
sanjosesharks receives Zambozooo from ottawasenators
sanjosesharks receives God_of_Tolerance_ from ottawasenators
Ottawa receives a 3-day pass to any surf school in the Bay Area.
penguins receives Maxpowr9 from bostonbruins
penguins receives PainfulPeanutBlender from bostonbruins
penguins receives lechuck333 from bostonbruins
penguins receives Weslg96 from bostonbruins
penguins receives hewhoamareismyself from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives Creasy007 from penguins
Boston acquires the Racing Pierogis
Penguins acquire part ownership of the Red Sox, Curt Schilling's bloody sock, and The Dropkick Murphys
bostonbruins receives LASPLAY from hawks
bostonbruins receives Jackf1123 from hawks
bostonbruins receives WornOutPen from hawks
bostonbruins receives eric215306 from hawks
hawks receives mvaiper from bostonbruins
hawks receives ultimate18 from bostonbruins
hawks receives puckdude917 from bostonbruins
hawks receives proudcanadaman from bostonbruins
calgaryflames receives vicsterling from sanjosesharks
calgaryflames receives shenghar from sanjosesharks
calgaryflames receives chockeysticks from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives Helmer86 from calgaryflames
sanjosesharks receives Perchy99 from calgaryflames
sanjosesharks receives raptorsfan1484 from calgaryflames
sanjosesharks receives nyahrox from calgaryflames
ottawasenators receives patcalledhome from bluejackets
bluejackets receives CerroScap from ottawasenators
bluejackets receives Anthony Duclair's autograph
stlouisblues receives aclee_ from flyers
flyers receives kuhanluke from stlouisblues
anaheimducks receives _crispy-bacon_ from detroitredwings
anaheimducks receives Demonox01 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Navydevildoc from anaheimducks
detroitredwings receives adiokido from anaheimducks
/detroitredwings receives Brewery X
/anaheimducks receives the Detroit Institute of Arts Museum
sanjosesharks receives Not_Trentrix from anaheimducks
anaheimducks receives FriarDuck from sanjosesharks
Fourteen duck eggs and a pair of Micky Mouse ears from the ducks to the sharks
devils receives JugglingMaster from ottawasenators
devils receives brosie65 from ottawasenators
devils receives hillboy619 from ottawasenators
devils receives TrouserTooter from ottawasenators
devils receives varvite from ottawasenators
ottawasenators receives LatinoComedian from devils
ottawasenators receives Coach_G77 from devils
ottawasenators receives DevilsInsiders from devils
ottawasenators receives Edvin0vich from devils
ottawasenators receives Gordon_Frohman_Lives from devils
Boxset of Jersey Shore to Ottawa. Season 1 Director's cut of Corner Gas to New Jersey.
caps receives KnockingonKevinsdoor from bostonbruins
caps receives Juhana21 from bostonbruins
caps receives Missfreeland from bostonbruins
bostonbruins receives caadbury from caps
anaheimducks receives Toxic_Influence from bluejackets
anaheimducks receives SoggyNelco from bluejackets
bluejackets receives CowboysSB82Champs from anaheimducks
bluejackets receives swartzy165 from anaheimducks
anaheimducks to join bluejackets in shouting "Fuck Jeff Carter", with the understanding that the Duck language is nuanced and subtle and to the unsophisticated human ear may sound like random quacking.
anaheimducks receives wegotjammed from canes
anaheimducks receives HeavyTheHobbit from canes
canes receives MLBfan10 from anaheimducks
canes receives Apennie from anaheimducks
canes receives West Covina. anaheimducks receives a cool refreshing breeze, scheduled for June 15, 2020.
floridapanthers receives gjmcdonald from sanjosesharks
floridapanthers receives Thuglas_Brown from sanjosesharks
floridapanthers receives Aladdin-Sane from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives 39thUsernameAttempt from floridapanthers
sanjosesharks receives one low rent apartment block. floridapanthers receive three cases of wine.
flyers receives goffizkool from sabres
sabres receives FuckAdamMorgan from flyers
Flyers will receive the naming rights to the new stadium for the Wood Buffalo SarBears, on the condition they send an army of otters to help build the arena. The name of the arena will be Otters Big Round Hockey House
sanjosesharks receives KingoftheFirstMen from rangers
sanjosesharks receives HipslikeHenrik from rangers
sanjosesharks receives Heaton_up from rangers
sanjosesharks receives TheSwine- from rangers
sanjosesharks receives The_Goshawk from rangers
rangers receives omgadamstopit from sanjosesharks
rangers receives FetchShockPass from sanjosesharks
Rangers reserve the right to rename a random street in San Jose to New New York Street.
penguins receives 15jsatte from flyers
flyers receives Zebster27 from penguins
flyers receives tacticalardvark from penguins
flyers receives madelfdisease from penguins
flyers receives theugly709 from penguins
flyers receives momoknows from penguins
With their combined powers, penguins and flyers have abolished the PA Liquor Control Board
devils receives DaniCapsFan from caps
caps receives ghostofkozi from devils
caps receives krazyk412 from devils
caps receives AvianLawman from devils
caps receives silkeystev from devils
caps receives SpontaneousStupidity from devils
penguins receives itznick11 from devils
penguins receives MrGnarVar from devils
penguins receives cldnvrbhvn from devils
penguins receives bgh395 from devils
penguins receives mrIlikememes from devils
devils receives EmperorPenguin66 from penguins
devils receives RAFSpitsSpitFire from penguins
devils receives HALFMANBEARPIGX from penguins
devils receives zlabar from penguins
devils receives Ricecrispyz from penguins
devils receives Crazymoney74 from caps
caps receives radametz from devils
caps receives ExcessEnemy from devils
caps receives Yxzyzzyx from devils
caps receives perkdoeswork from devils
caps receives FSDomino from devils
devils receives Smel11 from calgaryflames
devils receives QueenBS16 from calgaryflames
devils receives simply-supported from calgaryflames
devils receives matthewwb from calgaryflames
devils receives WaddleDee3 from calgaryflames
calgaryflames receives justhere4streams41 from devils
calgaryflames receives AkonSmells from devils
calgaryflames receives OhhDeerGod from devils
calgaryflames receives goalieguyk from devils
calgaryflames receives SherlockBoned from devils
There is a mutual agreement that Newark Airport sucks.
goldenknights receives Ihatgar11 from caps
goldenknights receives Reminice from caps
caps receives DeadCHKN from goldenknights
caps receives svartkonst from goldenknights
caps receives VGK_Man from goldenknights
sanjosesharks receives l_rufus_californicus from flyers
flyers receives iflanzy from sanjosesharks
to PHI: a fantastic fuck the pens gif
flyers receives Boomer_71 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives momoknows from flyers
bluejackets receives theugly709 from flyers
flyers receives Boomer
bluejackets receives Slapshot
It is hoped that each mascot reclamation project finds a better future with his new team.
penguins receives Metalli from anaheimducks
penguins receives ThyLostVegas from anaheimducks
losangeleskings receives lightningbolte from anaheimducks
losangeleskings receives GnarGnargoyle from anaheimducks
anaheimducks receives bigsquib68 from penguins
anaheimducks receives lordofnerds79 from penguins
anaheimducks receives buttdip from penguins
anaheimducks receives pto500 from penguins
anaheimducks receives Raptor_Girl_1259 from losangeleskings
penguins receives TinyHummingbird from losangeleskings
penguins receive a Goldberg Mighty Ducks jersey anaheimducks and losangeleskings require that all Penguins must now wear tiny crowns
sabres receives ItsaMe_Fish from anaheimducks
anaheimducks receives k3mik4l from sabres
anaheimducks receives MirandaGemini from sabres
All members of the Wood Buffalo SarBears will switch the first and last letter of the last names of the actual hockey men whenever they tell anybody about them
coyotes receives IQuickScopedJFK1963 from penguins
coyotes receives maddoxmawhinney from penguins
penguins receives Tigerfan895 from coyotes
calgaryflames receives mainzer9999 from devils
calgaryflames receives HockeyFan_37 from devils
calgaryflames receives AMorton15 from devils
devils receives missyyc from calgaryflames
devils receives treple13 from calgaryflames
devils receives MehrzaadMir from calgaryflames
winnipegjets receives JoinMyGild from devils
winnipegjets receives SennixOfficial from devils
devils receives Chief_Red_Tomato from winnipegjets
devils receives Goatzzzz from winnipegjets
devils receives iboxbears123 from winnipegjets
devils receives penholdtogatineau from winnipegjets
devils receives CaffeOwl from winnipegjets
tampabaylightning receives tkhockey85 from coyotes
tampabaylightning receives The_Janitor_Scruffy from coyotes
coyotes receives Datsyuk1998 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives WoomyNgyes from tampabaylightning
TB receives: 1 case of Kachina Pale Ale and a bag of pucks
penguins receives JaxoMurf from devils
devils receives Tigerfan895 from penguins
Penguins GM also receives casket for if he's ever found dead in a freezer
devils receives Jhoffdrum from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives ctnative from devils
flyers receives nokatydidnt92 from anaheimducks
flyers receives Flyingvop from anaheimducks
flyers receives PMmeBreadcrumbs from anaheimducks
anaheimducks receives MyMartianRomance from flyers
anaheimducks receives _Ghost8_ from flyers
Flyers to receive a direct-to-DVD animated version of The Mighty Ducks, except all the ducks are otters. This is to be received when OtterHooligan leaves a mist-covered stone next to a 8.74 inch tall orchid overnight, under a full moon. Ducks are to receive five small fish.
predators receives Mrsfoleyslittleboy from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives tonuch4963 from predators
tampabaylightning receives t_rage from predators
tampabaylightning receives SnealyNinja from predators
NSH receives: O'Keefe's Bar And Grill plus a conditional member of Less Than Jake
TB receives: A selfie with Gnash
calgaryflames receives NarcoticTurkey from winnipegjets
winnipegjets receives eatmyfriesyoudies from calgaryflames
calgaryflames receives Gostlsbehere from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives NeighborDickDopeMan from calgaryflames
winnipegjets receives RorenBanedrone from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives chockeysticks from calgaryflames
tampabaylightning will send a fire extinguisher to calgaryflames and an ice scraper to winnipegjets
sanjosesharks receives DJEXxorcIST from coloradoavalanche
sanjosesharks receives Liveraion from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives rcohen19 from sanjosesharks
calgaryflames receives Glurmpy from anaheimducks
anaheimducks receives DadsaMugleMumsaWitch from calgaryflames
calgaryflames receives mattro37 from anaheimducks
calgaryflames receives MarcusTorrent from anaheimducks
submitted by DeadlineCommish to hockey [link] [comments]


2020.01.27 18:32 Buck_Joffrey Wealth Formula Episode 195: Wealth Secret #1: Know, Like and Trust!

Catch the full episode: https://www.wealthformula.com/podcast/195-wealth-secret-1-know-like-and-trust/
Buck: Welcome back to the show everyone. Today my guest on Wealth Formula Podcast is my very good friend and partner Tim McLeary from Western Wealth Capital. Tim has been involved with the financial services in real estate industries for 25 years before joining Western Wealth Capital. His resume is extensive including oversight of more than a billion dollars in assets at TD Bank Financial Group and that was of course before our current run at Western Wealth. Now he is Vice President of Investor relations at Western Wealth Capital and he is obviously you know the face that many of you who have been an Investor Club already have seen and met in person if you've come to our meetups in Phoenix in Houston and of course he'll be in the next one as well. Tim, welcome to Wealth Formula Podcast man.
Tim: Yeah thank you Buck.
Buck: So you know obviously you know we've been talking within investor club and you know pretty much every day with regards to properties that we're looking at etc, but it's great to finally have you on the program to kind of you know expose everybody who's not necessarily part of the investor club to what you guys are doing. So everyone you know obviously people in the investor club already know at least you through the webinars. They may not have seen your pretty mug like you can on the video version here, but tell us a little bit about your past and you know how you ultimately ended up from you know these positions where more traditional financial market into multifamily real-estate.
Tim: Well this is always a common theme and I've always worked in an environment dealing with or connecting with people and institutions anywhere from as you mentioned TD which is you know institutional money management business development leadership with the major chartered financial banks. So again the common denominator is the ability to connect with people and my last position from my last job you know I was pretty darn comfortable feet up you know not being challenged, golfing a couple times a week sometimes I would play these sound like their president real calm and actually wanna one of my good friends a gentleman I used to play a little hockey with in the past because that's what we do up here in the frozen tundra is play a lot of hockey, he was the CFO of actually a very large local developer and he had just joined this small little firm in Vancouver called Western Wealth Capital and at the time and I think this nuts he went from you know CFO of again one of the largest developers in Vancouver just real estate company called Western Wealth Capital and out of the blue he gave me a call and introduced me to the CEO of Western Wealth Capital, Janet LePage and that meeting I basically sat there and said I'll do whatever it takes to come and work with his organization. I just knew it was a rocket ship, she's an amazing lady and then I met David Steele the other co GP and that was two and a half years ago and I loved every day and I'm learning as we go as well too and it's been a phenomenal ride and I'm looking for the next 10 or 15 years.
Buck: So you know obviously you're smart guy and you're heavily involved with day-to-day operations and yet God you know really your pulse on every part of this business so when you look at it from that perspective and you know what's going on in the economy etc, why multifamily real estate right now?
Tim: Well you know multi family is kind of the darling play in that real estate asset class right now you know more and more people and groups are running to this asset class and there's you know a couple simple reasons you know one there's you know multifamily is a very low risk profile asset class you know you look at the stock market and the fluctuations you know I'm still a junkie I look three or four times a day to see what the Dow and Nasdaq are doing but they're basically up and down with the Dow and Nasdaq and you know the market that general market that really depends on I say it is moved from a fundamental market to an emotional driven market you know it depends on tweets from certain people then also you know market move one way or another you know where as you know multifamily is just it's boring it's a real boring asset class but again it's also something you can touch and feel it's not emotionally driven it's you know it's real property it's something you can touch and feel and then you know also plain and simple, people need a place to sleep and a multi-family provides that. You know there's a thousand people moving to Texas a day, they need somewhere to sleep and you know and this is the reason why we love Dallas and Houston you know there's more and more employers moving from the west coast you know to you know to these states such as Florida and Texas and Arizona and all those new new workers need to need a place to sleep and multifamily provides them affordable place to live you know it's very much workforce housing and that's what we look for. And then lastly cash flow I mean you have a low risk profile asset class and and then you're receiving a yield I mean it's basically the best of both worlds.
Buck: Yeah I mean you know I think the the thing that you said that really resonates with me in general and I've said it on the show number times recently is that boring is good right, it's good boring is good this is and take it from a you know a serial entrepreneur type guy myself I mean I've chased enough shiny objects and what's always amazing to me through that period over the last decade is that through everything that has failed and that has gone well, one thing just keeps doing well it's boring but it's called multi-family real estate and that's been my experience you know. So again just advice to just general advice not financial advice don't stay away from something cuz it's boring. Don't go chasing things because you look bright and shiny they look exciting because weather exciting there's inherently more risk. Boring is good. But let's talk about the Western wealth capital because when you think about the Western Wealth Capital model you know it is quite opposite from some of the more boring ideas of when you think of REITs and stuff, it's actually pretty electric. I mean Ken McIlroy who we you know we had this meet up as you recall it was about a year ago in Phoenix Scottsdale and Ken was there and Ken was obviously has known Dave Steele for you know a very long time and they're friends you listen to what you know Dave had to say and he called it a quote money machine right, and that's pretty high praise from a guy like Ken you know and a lot of people trust can I trust Ken. So what exactly is it you know that makes this machine what it is? I mean it's annualized returns of 30 percent for investors through all divestments and you know the speed at which things are working. What is it that makes this different? What is this money machine?
Tim: Well firstly I mean that super high praise from a guy like Ken I mean he's had massive success in this space and you know as you mentioned Dave Steel can go way back and that's huge praise from Ken and that was fantastic when he did say that. Our model you know is pretty simple you know what buck really what it comes down to his execution of her plan you know. I'm a big believer and you know you may have the best business plan on the planet the best digit whatever it is but if you can't execute guess what it's useless and you know our our system our process is repeatable scalable we execute on day one and that means day one of take over when we take over a property but before we take over a property you know we already know what color we're gonna paint the building, we know what the pool furniture is going in, we know what the monument sign is gonna look like, you know the Landscaping's been you know taken care of, the leasing office is basically going to be remodeled as well on day one you know we're putting fliers under the doors of the tenants and we're saying hey do you want an ensuite washer and dryer you know all the statistics that we read that that was the number one ask from tenants is an actual ensuite washer and dryer and it's mind-blowing to me that property owners out there that have pre plumbed washer and dryers but actually don't put watch her dryers and you know we simplistically threw a flyer on the door and said if you will it would like a in-suite washer and dryer you know for an extra forty or fifty dollars a month just to let us know we'll install it and on Tuesday you'll have a washer and dryer, the balance a month no charge but you know as of the next month you know there will be a forty or fifty dollar charge and you know what you got to look at is that the installation that washer and dryer for for you know four-year $50 a month based on a cap rate it works out to about an increase in equity on a per door basis of about ten thousand dollars. And again like you said it comes down just simple math and then you know we throw in our goal start renovations where you know we can turn a unit and about you know eight days at a cost of about 60 to 50 to turn that and you know if we're charging a hundred and twenty-five dollars for that goal style renovation you know based on a certain cap rate buck you again that per door you know equity in valuation has gone up by $30,000. So it really what it comes down to simplistically math and the ability execute and that's something that we're good at both.
Buck: Yeah you know the way I think about it in and tell me we think of this analogy because you know, listen at the value add real estate is not a new concept you know there's a lot of opportunity for a long time, but to me what the difference when I look at it is that most value add operators and I'm talking about even you know a lot of well-known ones they're really operating at a boutique type level of business right, I mean they're sort of like the you know the if you look at in terms of restaurants they're the cafe around the corner run by the mom-and-pop and you know they've got an idea and they you know they run it well they get some good stuff going on they get nice ingredients but the reality is there they may not be infinitely they may not be running it quickly and as profitably as it can be. What's remarkable to me when I look at what you guys have put together there is you've got effectively a you know a McDonaldization right like a you've taken something, a substrate like apartment buildings you know 25-30 million dollar 70 million dollar apartment buildings and commoditized the turning of those in such a manner that it literally reminds me of a Mcdonald's type you know or you know some kind of industrial boom boom boom boom get it done kind of thing and whereas you might think well that's not gonna you know result in as good a product, the reality is the repetition the repeating the same thing over having the same type of you know operations over and over make you better and better and faster and that I just don't see anywhere else and I'm curious kind of what if that's the same you know what you see is the difference from others.
Tim: Yeah we're constantly working on our processes and you know you said it's repeatable and scalable and you can call the McDonnells ism theory but you know that that's what drives us very much and again you know it does come down to execution as you mentioned you know there's a lot of syndicators out there that really say they're in our space or they’re in the value-add space you know but they really don't spend that equity they don't have that team in place that can actually execute and that's one thing that's different about Western Wealth Capital is you know Jan and Dave do spend the money we do have the right people in all of the asset locations that we are situated and and we're not happy with six out of ten you know we live in a world where ten out of ten makes make sense.
Buck: The other part that I think is really different is speed right, because and again from from the standpoint of a guy who's interested in looking at things from you know mathematical way I mean I like equations I like things that have definitive you know ways of looking at things, the one thing that people don't usually think about is speed right. So you're going to do this at scale you're going to turn this you're gonna get so much you know increase in apartments and net operating income but if you can contract the amount of time it takes to get there you've effectively doubled your return and that presumably is a you know that that's why you're getting the kind of returns you are I mean don't you think that speed is probably the variable that is most unique?
Tim: Very much so and how I look at that is you know we're a very conservative organization all of our models are they're cookie cutter we were big believers and under promising and over delivering you know Janet's math background she’s a computer scientist by trade exactly you know it's very math based you know we have a Wow program we had a while but 1.0 we now but while 2.0 but so what we're trying to do is just increase the speed of how you know how quick we execute and really what that comes down to Buck is you know for our investors is we're you know we're de-risking their investment from day one. We're increasing the value of that property so quickly that we are literally moving the cap rate from let's say by a five to six or six and a half because of the execution of our business plan.
Buck: There's another part of that speed and you know that that that's really pertinent to investors and that is the idea of getting your money out of the deal we always talk about in terms of Western or in terms of the Wealth Formula you know mass times velocity times the leverage so velocity being like how quickly you get your money back out of a deal. One of the things I think is really interesting is the use of the supplemental loan program. Can you explain kind of how that works to people who don't know about it and you know some of the advantages of doing that.
Tim: I mean just very high level you know when we buy a property and we're gonna use some round assumption numbers here but let's say we buy a building for twenty million dollars you know we're typically using agency debt, the lender will actually provide us with a loan you know 100 percent valuation of that property loan to cost and so let's say the full twenty million dollars however they will not you know of course fund us that full amount. Typically it ranges anywhere from you know based on our models sixty five to up to seventy two percent you know of that LTC. Then as we create that value in that property as we execute and at the speed that we do or you are you know we creating value quickly we can go back after twelve months to our lender and instead of doing a whole refinance package which typically is quite expensive we just go back and and have our lender revisit the financials and basically pull a supplementary, so again if that building goes from 20 million 25 million, they will release anywhere between 65 to 70, 72 percent of that additional five million dollars in equity that we've created what we do with that equity well we give it back to our investors. So our whole model is and we've again under-promise and over-deliver here but you know what we pro forma is to return 50 percent of the investors equity between a 24 to 36 month period and then another 25% so up to 75% between a 36 and 48 month period and then up to a hundred percent of their original equity back between a 48 and 60 month period. So they still retain their original percentage ownership in the building the same number of units, however as you just mentioned Buck what it does do is it puts money back into their pocket a lot quicker. They can in turn reinvest that into something else and you know again the velocity of their money is in the velocity returns.
Buck: And that's really the key you know is that the cash out refi model is nothing new, but you usually don’t see it for about five years and then you get you know maybe you get a refi and hopefully you get your capital back out of the deal and you've got what we call infinite returns but what we're talking about here is really unique because I know you mentioned 24 to 36 months just looking over the history it looks like the average has been about 18 months where investors are getting about 50 percent of their capital back and then you know a year later whatever they're getting over the next year or two they're getting the rest of it back. By the way the model does not allow for a split until then so in other words the operators not getting paid you know and any part of the equity until a 100% of capital is returned. Well what that does is it allows you to take you know not wait for years but wait you know assuming it's 18 months 24 months whatever and if you get if you invested a hundred grand take 50 grand back and put it into something else now you've got an opportunity to make money in two places at the same time with the same capital and that's where the numbers really go off the hook right that is kind of the the thing and then as Tim mentioned it's also derisking. So tell us a little bit about like you know kind of your track record in terms of doing this kind of stuff.
Tim: Well I mean I'll tell you a little story about one of our investors you know he started with us it's actually five years ago now we're six year old company but it took about a year of research for him to give us his his first dollar but so it's been about five years ago he started investing with us he spread $750,000 you know throughout a couple of deals he started coming in and you know we do the dip your toe in with a certain amount and then you know the investment level got a little bit larger and so his total investment you know with Western Wealth Capital was $750,000 and you know he's funny he comes to offer wine and cheeses and he basically said I'm not gonna give you any more money I'm done but I promise you this what I'm gonna do is every single penny that you give me I'm gonna reinvest it. So you know through all of our refis are just divestments dispositions which we've had 31 to date so every penny he's given back to us he's actually equity level and ownership of properties with us is just now under four million dollars five.
Buck: So seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars total investment over like you know spread over several deals or the last five years is not worth about four million bucks.
Tim: And he's just continuing to roll it yeah he's doing. Actually should I should ask him and I show the top the pin but he loves to talk probably I should take him on tour with me.
Buck: I want to get him on the podcast. That comes out to roughly an eighty nine percent annualized return on capital. Well what's interesting to me is that with you know these kinds of returns people assume there's got to be a lot of risk right I mean how do you hit thirty percent annualized returns how's this guy get a nine percent annualized return, but in fact you know the two elements and you've alluded to this before that tend to theoretically make these opportunities even more stable than most offerings is that first you know you've obviously got a heavy capital expenditure budget because this whole thing is about turning you know really neglected properties into really high quality properties, if anybody's ever been on a Western wealth tour you'll see it's just amazing, but so it's a huge you know it's a it's a big investment up front that's raised from the capital from the equity. But one of the beautiful things about that is hey you're not you know we're not gonna just try to expect that we're gonna generate all this income from the property right and that creates this level of cash that's sitting up front. That is one thing that in my mind significantly de-risks the opportunities is that there's a huge capital stack sitting there waiting, but then there's also the other idea that where as we're driving equity into this and we're making a profit hopefully by driving cap rates up dynamically in real time, you're essentially creating you called it de-risking the property right I mean those are the two main elements, is that kind of how you see it in terms of mitigating risk?
Tim: Yeah hundred percent I mean not only mitigating risk but also you know it comes to returns you know when we model a property and then when we send her a basically executive summary though you know we're not showing 30% returns and that's what we've actually achieved in our past, we've had 31 dispositions for an average hold period 29 months for an average return of 30 percent annualized so we're not showing that you know what we're basing our math typically is working out between 17 to 20 percent annualized returns based on the property very conservative based on how the performance exactly you know when we have a property with say 200 units we're not saying we're gonna execute our value add proposition on 80% 85% we're saying we may do sixty sixty-five percent. And that's where we come up with these 17 to 20s you know plus our refinance of 50, 75 and a hundred you know but again the whole goal Buck comes down to is again under-promise and over-deliver and as well as you can and under-promise and over-deliver but you better be able to execute and and the speed and again we're very good at we're obsessed actually that's the word we use we're obsessed with execution.
Buck: That's pretty obvious. How big, because we talked about how this has been, this has been a lightning bolt of a business in terms of growth. How much how much property is under management now?
Tim: We're just under 16 thousand units.
Buck: And what does that come out to in dollars? I’m putting you on the spot but you move so quickly.
Tim: So last year actually 2018 we purchased 16 buildings. In 2019 we purchased 19 buildings. Our goal this year is 24 you know however you know we do have you know different sources of that's gonna be a billion dollars we're nowhere well we're over 2.2 billion 2.2 billion.
Buck: Okay so we've got all this good stuff going on and there's skeptics out there and for good reason that say well gosh you know what's you know what are you gonna do when the market changes I mean we talked about some of the things that you can do to de-risk that like you know you're decompressing your own cap rates by creating this dynamic you know driving of net operating income but what happens in that scenario and typically you know a cycle like that might last a couple years. If you have a situation where you decompress cap rate so and you you're certainly in a position to be safe because you got about a bunch of money in the bank you know you've driven up your income, but then what do you do then to to you know to try to maximize yield? Do you just you know hold on to the property and and wait for better days or what do you do?
Tim: I guess the worst-case scenario is as you mentioned you sit in cash, again, we're a bit unique we don't have to borrow our capex we raise our capex so you know we'll sit on a lack of cash you know if required we can still continue implementing our value-added program because again you know in a crunch period of time try and get money from a bank or your agency you can't so all of a sudden syndicators just have to stop we raise that capex so we can keep going if we want but I mean worst case scenario is is we sit in cash flow you know but we also what we look at is in the markets that we deal is you know or where we have assets for the markets that we really like is you know we take a real look at the A type of properties existing or being built and you know we love buying buy a right you know a C or C plus type of building right beside an A because you know the individual is that you know that's paying 20 to 50 a month for an eight hundred square foot a type of property you know when that market does change you know are fifteen hundred and fifty dollar 1100 square but newly renovated unit plus completely upgraded and amenities is it gonna look fantastic and save that individual seven hundred dollars a month. So you know again it comes down to de risking and your investment and you know that's one of the aspects that we look at is that a type of property in the area but again worst-case scenario is yeah yeah we stuff it full only cash flow.
Buck: So I mean just to be clear we're talking about C-C plus you know probably now what you guys call C me it's probably more C plus moving it up to like a B-Bplus in it you know like you're in a area or something like that is effectively the idea you know speaking of the markets though one of the things that I think is how you know when you right now I've been saying one of the most critical aspects of buying real estate right now is picking the markets because you know when times when things are hot and things are you know markets are flying that's when you get like these you know you get these tertiary markets that are people start chasing yield where in situations where you know if the market turns there's really no natural growth there, there's no not new industry there's not that I mean how much of that goes into market selection can you kind of talk about your process there?
Tim: Yeah you nailed it Buck you know we're seeing a lot of other firms you know chasing yield, chasing returns, there's a lot of equity out there but there's also a lot of kind of startup syndicators trying to make a mark and so they're trying to chase returns and and what they don't see in what we see with we know over a hundred transactions maybe, they don't see the deal flow that we see you know we're seeing 22 to 30 deals in about twelve different cities a week but you know we see other firms you know buying in those first rate markets and that you know we'll never do that you know you know. So when the market does correct you know the place to such late such as you know Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Phoenix these these markets that are in your top five to ten type markets for economic growth when there is a correction, yeah they may correct a little bit however if you're buying in a market at right now is ranked number fifteen fifteen sixteen seventeen and it's there now just because it's kind of you know, when the market does turn guess what's gonna happen it's gonna go from fifteen sixteen to thirty thirty-one. You know our philosophy isn't you know we don't buy and cross your fingers and hope that the market goes up you know that is just not our value proposition again we're going to markets that are stable strong economic growth there's companies moving there and then basically it comes down to executing your model.
Buck: Yeah and you know and I think that's an important thing. There is this constant sort of tension between finding yield but also staying within markets that have strong job growth and you know population growth. And so the nice thing about you know major markets you know you know Houston and Phoenix and some of these markets that are you know they're not New York and LA but on the other hand they're growing like gangbusters they at the end of the day even if you have a change in sort of the overall real estate market you have this this other opposing force which is the growth in population and that isn't gonna presumably that's not going to stop people are moving there for a reason. Tough economic times they're only gonna make them move there even more.
Tim: Just a funny story Buck I was talking I was in Calgary last week which is a part of Canada, talking to a farmer last week and he explained this this way Tim he says I have a chicken and I want to make sure my chicken is laying eggs but in the long run I want to make sure my chicken’s safe at the end of the day. It's so simple and you're giggling but really that's what it comes down to. I want my eggs but I want to make sure you preserve my chicken and that's definitely Western Wealth Capital.
Buck: Capital preservation. For a group that's plugging out those kinds of numbers capital preservation you know being part of the equation is a nice relief as well. So tell me what's the plan again for this year 2020 west from wealth capital? What Mark do we looking at? What's the goal?
Tim: Well I you know we're currently in five markets I just discussed San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, second largest owner operator in Phoenix there's about twelve cities that know we followed very closely our goal for 2020 is to add two new cities so that means not you know not to have assets and five to have have them in seven you know the type of you know type of markets we're looking at is you know whether we're looking to Nevada so we're looking at Vegas we're looking at Denver of course at Denver Florida many centers and Florida as well to you know Washington, Washington State, Seattle, Portland, Nashville as well too. So you know we have a six member acquisition team and we always joke I'm not sure who lives in airports more of them or them or myself but we're kicking a lot of tires, but the goal is again here to be into you know two new cities we just don't move in a city unprepared we do a lot of homework we do a lot of back check. We don't you know we actually are before we move in a city we don't want to buy one building we're gonna go in and typically buy three buildings you don't you know we want to get you know we want to have a thousand fifteen hundred units.
Buck: That's part of the exit plan too. I mean and and that's one of the things that I think is important to one of the reasons that you end up getting paid more for these is you're not selling when building at a time you're wrapping it up to like seven or eight buildings at a time and selling it at a premium to a big you know to a big institutional buyer.
Tim: Yeah and for numbers we're probably looking at I gained one a month so probably twelve twelve deals this year so for on a deal full perspective so another ambitious ambitious goal first rate.
Buck: I’m just curious one thing and I don't know how much you've actually looked into it but it's funny that you mentioned Vegas behind I brought that up too because I remember the economist that we had at our last meet of in the growth in in in you know just in people moving into Vegas is insane right, well the question is is it real this time right?
Tim: It is you know you look at the the jobs I believe it you know not that long ago over sixty percent was you know in that hospitality sector I believe that's under forty percent now you know so that just shows that there is there's other types of opportunity now in Las Vegas and it's not solely dependent on the casinos and you know and again it's you know it's another state.
Buck: It’s just one of those things where it's like what's the difference between living in you know in a climate wise say Las Vegas Nevada in Phoenix Arizona and people are in Phoenix is growing very quickly and then Vegas all of a sudden now they've got a you know they're gonna have a football team they have an NHL team it's starting to seem like a normal thing to live in Las Vegas.
Tim: It's like anywhere Buck, it's any state or city you live in there's tremendous opportunity in great pockets I've I know a lot of people that live in Vegas and you know you joke the first question is about the strip and it's like any city you live in they all just kind of chuckle and say you know we may go this trip once a quarter you know it's like me going downtown for dinner with my family it's right you know it's the same concept.
Buck: Well Timmy I don't want to keep you too long. It's been great to have you on the show and for those of you who want more of Tim you can read about them you know Western Wealth Capital website otherwise you can join Investor Club if you are an accredited investor and that's where Tim frequently does webinars for us. Tim again I want to thank you it's great to have you on the show finally.
Tim: Thank You Buck, I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Buck: We’ll be right back.
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2019.12.07 05:48 BahHumbug_YYC Calgary First Responders Deserve Our Thanks

\Edit* Another Redditor suggested including the Veteran's Food Bank. Great Idea. Link is end of post.*
\Edit* Someone else suggested mentioning Calgary Fire Department Burn Treatment Society. Link added as well.*
This afternoon, while driving back from Airdrie to Calgary, I was worrying about the next few weeks and how I'm not going to be able to pay the overdue bills from last month, my commitments from this month, and on top of this / because of this not be able to give my kids a Christmas. I'm self-employed, and 2 MUCH NEEDED contracts I'd been working on for months, which I had massively been depending on that were promised for December had just been delayed until January. Now, it's a shit sandwich. I'm a single father of young kids, Bills have stacked up, I'm behind on all of them, I have little ones who are depending on Santa (which won't happen now), and, quite frankly I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.
So, I was now on the way back from racking more miles after another hopeful, (but fruitless meeting), and on Deerfoot S., just passing Beddington around 200PM. Huge accident. I was in the L. lane, going around 120. Middle lane was this mini pickup truck. He was coming up on my 2:00, and just behind it (at a safe distance, from what I recall) was an Audi SUV. I was just passing them when the mini pickup truck for no reason at all LOCKED up his brakes, his speed went from around 115 to about 40 KPH in about 2 seconds - so much that the mini pickup started fishtailing in the middle of the right lane. There were no animals or debris on the road that I could see, but the SUV behind him couldn't help to avoid this sudden, seemingly crazy de-acceleration. The SUV plowed into the back of the truck, then a following car, a VW Sedan, SLAMMED into the back of the SUV. This whole incident took about maybe 4 seconds. The suddenness and violence out of nowhere was shocking.
When all this happened, I was JUST passing the mini pickup on my right, and in the time it took to pass them at 120KPH, I saw the carnage in my rear view mirror. After an "Oh SHIT!" or two comments, I pulled over on left shoulder, but it still took me about 200M down the highway to safely stop my car on the shoulder and dial 911.
Out of the car, on the phone with EMS, and jogging back to the scene, a few cars and a semi had stopped, then shockingly, most of these people decided it wasn't worth their while to remain. (On a side note, I'm also surprised how many people just detour around a very fresh accident, not even rolling down their window to ask to if anyone needs help or something - but of course to take photos). The Semi driver did, though, for a while, get out with a flag vest and start to flag motorists over the the L shoulder, because the ruined VW was sitting perpendicular in the middle / L lane, but then he split. The SUV seemed okay with a bit of back end damage, but Granddad in the SUV back seat was bleeding a lot from a gash on his nose, his son & wife in the front were a little shaken, but were okay. The 3rd vehicle (the VW Sedan who had plowed the Audi SUV) however, was totaled. Both the driver and passenger front and side airbags had deployed, the front end of the vehicle was literally gone, the passenger had a suspected broken wrist and the driver maybe a broken rib or two, and both of them were in shock. The people in the mini truck who had started this whole debacle weirdly had no damage to their vehicle, and were standing alone on the R hand shoulder of Deerfoot.
While on the phone with 911, the nice lady talked me through the situation; Are any people injured? If so, how many? Are they conscious / bleeding / complaining of injuries? Can they breath? Is there gas spilled? Is there a danger of fire? Can they remain in their vehicles or do they need to be moved from imminent danger? Am I personally safe? Are there bystanders in danger of traffic standing around? Don't let anyone in the accident exit their vehicles unless they are in danger / can't breath etc, don't let them drink any fluids until EMS gets there. Etc. The lady on the phone was SUPER professional. Good humour. Calm & collected, but this was a bit surreal, as moments ago I'd been contemplating my own issues, and now I was standing alone in the center lane of Deerfoot Trail of all places, amidst our wreckage (from different sources) while in the middle of a 3 car pile-up, on the phone, where normally, life would be zipping by at 120KPH.
I kept checking on all the people, and a special attention to the wrecked VW. They were conscious and alert, but banged up and shocky. I kept on speaking with them, ensuring they were all right, and keeping them focused. Within about 12 mins, first Policeman showed up. Less than 10 min later, there were multiple police vehicles, an ambulance, and then a firetruck. (This is beginning of Friday afternoon rush hour). The traffic ramification it turns out all southbound from Beddington had backed up to north of the ring road. I felt for those people sitting in their cars 10KMs away from the scene. Maybe they had to go to the bathroom, or had an important meeting, or had kids in the car or, or a loved one was in the hospital or something. My point is, in that stretch, there was no where to go. No alternatives. Much like me.
The police were efficient, kind, and got everything under control. EMS got the injured to the ambulance and taken away. Fire Dept was already sweeping up the large amount of debris and dealing with the spilled fluids, tow trucks were already dealing with the vehicles, and as one of the two main witnesses who cared to stop and get involved, my statement was taken, small chat ensued, thanks were issued,and they completely stopped traffic on Deerfoot so myself and the other witness could jaywalk / frogger across the empty 3 lane highway to where our vehicles were parked, and about 40 mins later - we were on our way to get back to our respective days and challenges.
What I said above about the suddenness and violence of this being shocking? This whole incident took less than 5 seconds at 120KPH early on a sunny Friday afternoon with great weather, perfect visibility, dry roads, and no issues at all.
So, please careful out there folks. It only takes a mistake, or a knucklehead to make a life-altering decision. Luckily, all involved I think should be okay. Life's hard enough as it is without additional monkey-wrenches being thrown in your general direction. My heart goes out to these people; the injured who were ambulanced away to in shock with some broken bones - only to have to deal with with all the nonsense of dealing with insurance / replacing a vehicle in the holiday season, or the Grandfather who didn't speak any English with a very large gash in his nose requiring stitches, and the knuckleheads who started this all, who are going to have a lot of explaining to do to the authorities / insurance companies
No-one needs more stress any time - but certainly now, leading up to the holidays.
Last thing I'd like to mention is:
Our EMS teams are PRO's. What they must face daily boggles the mind. They were absolutely deserve our support and respect. Next time you see these cats at Tim Hortons? Think about buying them a coffee and a danish at the very least. Those Magnificent Bastards deserve nothing less, and much more.
Please consider donating to:
Calgary Police Serivce Donations
Calgary EMS Donations
Or, for that matter - The Calgary Food Bank.
https://www.calgaryfoodbank.com/donatefunds/
https://www.calgaryfoodbank.com/wishlist/
https://www.theveteransfoodbankofcalgary.ca/donate/
Also, Calgary Fire Dept Burn Treatment Society
https://cfbts.org/donate/
Anyway, be good to each other, keep an eye out for one another, and stay safe out there.
submitted by BahHumbug_YYC to Calgary [link] [comments]


2019.12.01 19:26 CambieKev The Immaturity Keeping Alexander Mogilny Out Of The Hockey Hall Of Fame - An Article By Kevin Wong (Dec. 1, 2019)

The Immaturity Keeping Alexander Mogilny Out Of The Hockey Hall Of Fame - By Kevin Wong; December 1, 2019; @CambieKev on Twitter
Note: This is a career retrospective focusing on some of Alexander Mogilny's controversies as an NHL player, written for historical purposes and to remind readers about his reputation in the league. The "immaturity" that the title refers to is perhaps that of Mogilny while he was a player. Please feel free to discuss your memories of this player in the comments section and to debate the arguments for and against his induction into the HHOF.
Thirteen years have passed since Alexander Mogilny last played professional hockey, and yet another year has gone by without his induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame. His reputation as one of Russia's great hockey legends precedes him, and his myriad of personal accomplishments offer a strong case for his induction.
Mogilny was a prolific scorer and a wonderfully-gifted player whose name commands respect among hockey fans, even as memories of his controversies and struggles fade. In 990 NHL games, he scored 1032 points, including 473 goals and 559 assists. He is a six-time NHL All-Star (1992, 1993, 1994, 1996, 2001, 2003); he was also named to the Second All-Star Team twice (1993, 1996), achieved the equivalent of a Rocket Richard Trophy as the NHL's goal-scoring leader with 76 goals in 1993, won the Stanley Cup in 2000, is a member of the Triple Gold Club, and earned the Lady Byng Trophy in 2003. These are some of his many accomplishments during his 19-year professional career (1986 with CSKA Moscow to 2006 with Albany of the AHL). Igor Larionov's nickname for Mogilny was "Magic," his explanation being that the "g" in Mogilny is intended to sound like the "g" in magic (MacIntyre 1995).
Sportsnet highlight reel of Mogilny (post date: June 2018, 9 min.): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJaa7_g3kIw
Despite this very impressive list of personal achievements, Alexander Mogilny has not been inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame, although he has been eligible since 2009. Many of his greatest on-ice rivals and teammates have been inducted already, but his wait continues. There seems to be some mystery as to what barriers lay between him and the HHOF. A closer look at his career may unearth the answers to these critical questions.
Although he demonstrated periods of unbelievable dominance against his on-ice peers, his contemporary reputation was undermined by his motivations, degree of motivation, as well as other moments of great division between him and those in authority while he played in the National Hockey League. His defection from the USSR and the oppressive regime of Viktor Tikhonov are well-documented; he, along with Slava Fetisov and others, admirably fought for their freedom from Tikhonov. Among the reasons that pushed Mogilny to leave was a moment at the 1988 Calgary Olympics when Tikhonov "slugged" him in the stomach because of a minor penalty he had taken in a meaningless game; Team USSR had already clinched the gold medal (MacIntyre 1995). Unlike most of his CSKA Moscow peers, however, Mogilny's detached, rebellious behavior continued after leaving his homeland as he struggled with the transition to the North American lifestyle. During his time with CSKA Moscow, Larionov identified Mogilny as "a different guy -- listening, then doing his own thing" in spite of the coach's instructions (MacIntyre 1995). Team Canada coach Tom Webster noted some of the on-ice implications of this at the 1989 World Junior Championship in Anchorage: "for his age, he's a very talented player, but a lazy player... He doesn't come back in his own end, but that's a compliment to the players he plays with" (Kerr 1989). This confrontational behavior continued into his time in the NHL and led to numerous complications in the first few years of his tenure with the Buffalo Sabres.
In 1995, Mogilny spoke with Vancouver Sun reporter Iain MacIntyre about his internal conflicts as he uncomfortably tried to adapt to his new world. According to MacIntyre, he confessed that after his "honeymoon with freedom cooled, he struggled with his identity, feeling neither Russian nor American" (MacIntyre 1995). In the period between his defection from his homeland and his eventual return in 1994, he felt, in MacIntyre's words, "torturously isolated from his homeland;" he had been made a junior lieutenant by Tikhonov -- something he vehemently tried to refuse for fear of its military implications -- and was also "convicted in absentia of deserting the army" (MacIntyre 1995). His parents were ordered to testify regarding Mogilny's actions, causing significant grief to the young player; family friends abandoned them, and his medals were confiscated (MacIntyre 1995). Fellow Russian stars of that era, Fetisov and Pavel Bure, described the situation in these terms:
"I don't have enough words to describe Alex. He is an honest guy and unbelievable friend. I've got so much sympathy for him. I wish he was my (biological) brother... He wanted freedom and he got freedom... but he lost his homeland" - Slava Fetisov, 1995 (MacIntyre 1995).

"I think everyone was shocked at the time... You couldn't come back; you had to leave the country forever" - Pavel Bure, 1995 (MacIntyre 1995).
Feelings of fear, sorrow and confusion ultimately bled into his time as a Buffalo Sabre, and he exhibited erratic behavior.
Mogilny debuted in the NHL on October 5, 1989, but as early as February 1990 --- four months into his NHL career -- he told his Sabres teammates that he had "played his last game with the Sabres" (The Province, Feb. 1990). A sudden fear of flying caused him to miss the February 11, 1990 game against St. Louis, and he had reportedly told teammates "he was quitting" (The Province, Feb. 1990). He had already missed five games that January "because of what the team called a stomach virus which was complicated by his fear of flying" (The Province, Feb. 1990). Teammate Uwe Krupp noted that "you could see he was having problems adjusting... It has been hard for him. It's hard for most players who come over here, but it seemed really hard for him" (The Province, Feb. 1990). Sabres general manager Gerry Meehan reported, of Mogilny, that "he has a legitimate fear of flying" (The Province, Feb. 1990). Mogilny apparently went "to see his lawyer," according to an unidentified acquaintance who answered Mogilny's telephone (The Province, Feb. 1990). There were signs that this player was troubled, that demons were manifesting themselves in this young man's life.
Throughout this saga, he missed multiple games despite arriving via train to Chicago for a match against the Blackhawks and appearing in the subsequent pre-game warmup against Montreal (Shoalts 1990). David Shoalts of The Globe and Mail speculated that, as a result of Sabres coach Rick Dudley declaring him a healthy scratch against Chicago, Mogilny retaliated by being "deliberately late for a team meeting" the following Thursday (Shoalts 1990). Mogilny continued to represent the Sabres after this incident, but the subsequent year presented another challenge.
Contract issues became a topic of contention one year after his arrival in Buffalo. During his transition to life away from his homeland, Mogilny reportedly spent his earnings excessively on "everything from clothes to cars" -- behavior that "began to worry his Russian friends in the NHL" (MacIntyre 1995). He had, according to the NHL, chased the dream of "a chance to make a vast amount of dough in the best hockey league in the world" (MacIntyre 1995), culminating in a contract dispute in October 1991 (Fisher 1991) as well as a conversation about work ethic (Sicinski 1991). Mogilny, earning $140,000 that year, met with his agent Don Meehan, general manager Gerry Meehan, and Sabres director of hockey John Muckler; during the meeting, Mogilny reportedly fired his agent (Matheson 1991). Team management offered Mogilny an extension, but this contract amendment was declined (Fisher 1991).
Work ethic issues plagued Mogilny's time in Buffalo. Before the firing of Don Meehan, he was petitioned by Gerry Meehan and Muckler "to approach his client about his work ethic" (Sicinski 1991). According to Don Meehan, "they were concerned that he wasn't trying. It wasn't something he wanted to hear and he fired me... I thought we had a good professional relationship and friendship. I was always there when he needed help. I was very disappointed" (Sicinski 1991). Mogilny had apparently negotiated the original four-year-plus-option deal himself, and teammates claim "his eyes glazed over with the dollar signs" (Sicinski 1991). Among his immediate purchases with his newfound riches were a $60,000 Corvette, an apartment, luxurious clothes, and many other expenses (Sicinski 1991). Meehan was trying to renegotiate this deal for his client before he was fired (Sicinski 1991).
"He wasn't consistent. He'd have ups and downs and you never could get a good read on whether Alex would show up the night he was playing" - John Muckler, Sabres Director of Hockey, 1991 (Sicinski 1991).
This was followed by a ten-game suspension in January 1992 in the aftermath of a match against the St. Louis Blues. Mogilny, in frustration, slapped on-ice official Dan Schachte on the side of the head after Schachte assessed a major penalty and game misconduct to Mogilny for slashing (The Globe and Mail 1992). These first few years established Mogilny as one of the NHL's frustration-worthy enigmas.
Larry Sicinski of the Hamilton Spectator noted that Mogilny "has done little to ingratiate himself with Sabres' management, teammates and the media since his arrival... [He] has established himself as a moody megalomaniac who plays only when the spirit moves him" (Sicinski 1991). When one considers the stresses of his sudden lifestyle change, the isolation, as well as the plethora of fears and anxieties that harmed Mogilny's psyche during this period, one might begin to reconcile the problems that loomed over him at this time.
Extraordinarily, regardless of the various challenges that he faced during this period, Mogilny thereafter elevated his play and in 1992-93 established new records with his awe-inspiring 76-goal, 127-point regular season performance; his transcendent season, unfortunately, ended with a broken leg in the second round of the playoffs against the eventual Stanley Cup champion Montreal Canadiens. Nonetheless, he gained the respect of the entire hockey world with this career season of his. The next season, he was named the captain of the Sabres as a replacement for the injured Pat Lafontaine. He became the first Russian captain in NHL history, a bold move by then-GM and coach John Muckler not for the historical precedent but for his stark change of opinion about the young player; in Muckler's words:
"Alex is the best man for the job. It's time for him to step forward because he is the franchise player... By accepting the C, I think he's going to become a better player... He's just done an outstanding job so far... He's played much more physically, he's playing better defensively. He's got a lot of respect from the other players, he's a real sincere guy, competitive, emotional... He is certainly not the same person now that I met when I first walked into the dressing room" - John Muckler, 1993 (Mayoh 1993).
Mogilny performed admirably for the remainder of his time with the Sabres. This newfound focus, even in the face of an extortion threat from a former associate who assisted in his defection (The Gazette 1994), resulted in a salary raise with Mogilny earning $3.2 million as of 1995; however, the Sabres needed to clear salary from their payroll and thus made "a deal... based on economics," according to Mogilny's new agent Mike Barnett (Hickey 1995). He was traded at the 1995 NHL Entry Draft with a fifth-round pick to Vancouver in exchange for Michael Peca, Mike Wilson, and a first-round pick.
https://streamable.com/apvnz
"I learned a lot the last seven years -- about people and myself and life in general. I've learned to protect myself from some things. The higher you go up, the harder you fall, so you keep your feet on the ground as much as possible" - Alexander Mogilny, 1995 (MacIntyre 1995).
Mogilny left Buffalo with an apparent sense of dignity and grace, and his discussion with Iain MacIntyre in December 1995 explores many of the personal struggles that he faced during his time in Buffalo. He debuted in Vancouver with great success, establishing the second-highest all-time goal and point-scoring totals in Canucks franchise history at the time with 55 goals and 107 points. However, he and Pavel Bure did not play together, especially once Bure's career-altering knee injury in November 1995 resulted in the premature end of his season. Injuries and distractions kept these two former-junior linemates from reuniting optimally during this period. Mogilny succeeded in Bure's absence that year, but failed to recapture that same remarkable level of performance in 1996-97, his second year with the Canucks. Bure suffered from severe neck pain from whiplash that season, while Mogilny clashed with rookie Canucks coach Tom Renney.
In his second season with Vancouver, Alexander Mogilny lapsed back into his old, haphazard ways, albeit while producing at a respectable level. Public opinion was that "Mogilny's apathetic play deserved a benching" and rumors swirled about potential trades involving him; Mogilny denied that he had asked for a trade, although he had publicly requested that the Canucks try to acquire a top centre: "That's a bunch of crap... Yes, I said to get over the hump, we needed a centre. I'd love to stay here... I just can't sit back and shut my mouth. That's not my nature. It's not easy to shut up and say nothing. What can I do? This is the way it is" (MacIntyre, Feb. 1997). His performance dipped to a total of 31 goals and 73 points, but at the season's end it was Tom Renney who admitted mistakes; Mogilny vouched for Renney, stating that "it was his first year... and you've got to realize the first year for anybody is tough.... I thought he came around quite a bit toward the end" (MacIntyre, Apr. 1997). Mogilny, a pending restricted free agent, decided to remain with the Canucks, claiming that "I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life... Money is an issue, but I want to be happy. I want to win something. That's the No. 1 priority for me right now" (MacIntyre, Apr. 1997).
A holdout ensued, concluding in November 1997. Mogilny, his wife, newborn daughter and dog stayed in Malibu while the contract negotiations took place. When the Vancouver media contacted Mogilny by telephone in September 1997, he offered these words:
"I don't want to sound like I haven't been thinking about it... But I'm enjoying my life down here more than ever. There is life without hockey... I'm not the kind of person who's going to be thinking about this [contract] and losing sleep. To be honest with you, I don't even think about it now. I'm not going to die tomorrow. Or go broke" - Alexander Mogilny, Sept. 1997 (MacIntyre, Sept. 1997).
This lack of urgency prompted another response from Mogilny two years later, as he increasingly became defined as a Canuck by his lack of effort:
"Hockey is everything in my life... Because of hockey I am where I am, you know. I live a comfortable life and it's because of hockey. I'm not some entrepreneur or businessman. Hockey got me where I am" - Alexander Mogilny, 1999 (Rud 1999).
During this time, Pat Quinn speculated that "high-profile restricted free agents like Mogilny conspired months ago to hold out as long as possible in an attempt to further inflate the market" (MacIntyre, Sept. 1997). Mogilny's response:
"I'm not really surprised... Vancouver has been known to drag things out for a while. I'm just enjoying it here day by day, seeing what's going to happen... It feels a little funny [missing training camp]. But I feel like I made the right decision for my family. And I understand the Canucks; it's all about business... I made a decision and I'm standing by it. I always believe in intuition. I believe in myself and believe everything will be resolved sooner or later. In the meantime, I'm loving my life" - Alexander Mogilny, Sept. 1997 (MacIntyre, Sept. 1997).
Mogilny, 28 years old, finally returned in November of that year, but under-performed considerably. When the next season's training camp began, Mark Messier, team captain, remarked, "Last year, he missed camp, joined the team late and he never got himself organized... I think he's had a whole summer now to get himself ready to play this year. He knows the position he's going to be in and it's up to him to respond to the challenge" (Pap 1998). Mogilny, when asked about the absence of Pavel Bure, was dismissive about Bure's decision not to join the team that year:
"I've got enough to worry about -- kids, a wife, dogs -- so I can't worry about Pavel... I didn't follow anything after the season ended. I try to stay as far away from it as I can. I don't think about these things and I don't even care. I have to focus on my game, get in shape and worry about my own performance. I want to try and help the team as much as I can. What other guys do with their contracts, that's their thing" - Alexander Mogilny, Sept. 1998 (Pap 1998).
A knee sprain and an abdominal strain sidelined Alexander Mogilny at various points during the next two seasons, but most notably, Mogilny suffered a sudden, sharp decline in production. Grant Kerr, writing for The Globe and Mail, proclaimed that "Mogilny has lost his scoring touch," that his "confidence appears shot," and that "he'd rather pass than shoot" (Kerr, 1999). Among his commentary, he remarked that "it's unlikely he'll collect on many of [his bonuses] because the 30-year-old right winger has only six goals in 36 games" (Kerr 1999); he also noted that "there are games, far too many in fact, when you swear Alexander Mogilny couldn't possibly need a postgame shower. A sponge bath would do because Mogilny often gives the appearance of someone just going through the motions... In games against Los Angeles and the Edmonton Oilers, he was reluctant to make plays for others, often trying one more fancy move when a simple pass would have done the job" (Kerr 1998). The urgency required from Mogilny was not present on the ice. Journalist Jeff Rud explained the two sides of this player at the time:
"If you ask just about anyone who deals with the Canucks on a regular basis, Mogilny is a genuinely nice guy. He is funny, refreshingly honest and a pleasure to deal with. That is the side some of us see. The other side, the side that is most public, is of a hockey player who it seems sometimes can't be bothered to expend the effort to help his team. If there is a single player who has been the lightning rod for criticism of this team during the past few sorry years it has been Mogilny... What's worse is the feeling that Mogilny often appears to play as though he no longer cares about the game... Others say Mogilny approaches hockey like most people approach their jobs. It's important, but not that important. When asked about this perception yesterday, Mogilny denied that's how he feels" - Jeff Rud, Sept. 1999 (Rud 1999).
Confusion was Mogilny's reaction to his poor play. When asked about his decline, "the cryptic Mogilny merely shrugs his shoulders when asked" -- according to Mogilny, "I'm just trying to do the little things, what the coach wants, trying to play the system... If the goals come, it's a bonus. It's nice. I've been as frustrated as anybody on this team. Things haven't been going well. This is my 10th year [in the NHL]. It's very hard. I just want to be part of the solution, hopefully a brighter future for this organization" (Kerr 1999).
"It's been hard... the last couple of years because the team has been dismantled... It's been hard, but it's our job to get motivated for every game" - Alexander Mogilny, Sept. 1999 (Rud 1999).
A trade followed. Mogilny was sent to the New Jersey Devils in exchange for Brendan Morrison and Denis Pederson. In response to this, Mogilny admitted that he was not prepared to be the offensive leader of a less-established team like the rebuilding Canucks; in joining New Jersey, Mogilny said, "I'm coming into an established, solid hockey club... That's probably what I needed a little more. I can loosen up and go play hockey and have fun. That's exactly what I needed" (Alaska Highway News 2000).
Mogilny experienced a regular season resurgence with the Devils in 2000-01, although was sometimes criticized during both of his postseason campaigns with the team for his lengthy scoring droughts. His lack of production was pardoned by Devils manager Lou Lamoriello, who defended his new acquisition: "when we got him we told him we weren't going to depend on him to score... But we knew we were getting a guy who can break a game open at any time" (Willes 2000). He won the Stanley Cup nearly immediately upon joining the Devils, although he provided his team with a mere 4 goals, 7 points in 23 playoff games. In 2000-01, he scored 43 goals, 83 points in 75 games, but in the playoffs scored just 5 goals, 16 points in 25 games.
"Last year, I scored four goals in the playoffs and no one had a question about it... This year, they're saying something is wrong. It's a different year... If I score or not, there's a lot of ways to contribute" - Alexander Mogilny, May 2001 (The Expositor 2001).

"What makes me proudest of him... is that all through it, he never once... not once... stopped working... All through it, he never stopped trying to be better. Not once during it did he do anything or say anything to affect adversely any of the other players in the room. He took a lot of heat from a lot of people all through it, but not once did he complain" - Lou Lamoriello, June 2001 (Fisher 2001).
The New Jersey Devils reached the Stanley Cup Finals in 2001 but a second consecutive championship was not to be. Additionally, Mogilny was slated to become a free agent that summer.
Alexander Mogilny, now 32 years old, chose Toronto and a four-year, $22 million contract, expounding that the Maple Leafs offered a higher bid while New Jersey, in spite of discussions with agent Mike Barnett, made no formal offer: "I knew it wouldn't be easy to go back [to New Jersey]... I know how [general manager] Lou [Lamoriello] negotiates contracts.... It was difficult to accept. I wanted to stay there. I won't lie to you. But it didn't work out... The numbers were what we were looking at -- I wasn't ready to sacrifice that amount of change" (Standard-Freeholder 2001).
During his tenure with the Leafs, both teammate Mats Sundin and coach Pat Quinn were very complimentary of Mogilny as a player:
"He's one of the more talented players I've ever had the privilege of coaching" - Pat Quinn, 2001 (Nanaimo Daily News 2001).

"He's absolutely at the top of the league in terms of skills... He may be the best I've played with, and I've played with some great players like Sakic and Forsberg and all these guys... When he's out there... he'll find you if you find a hole for him" - Mats Sundin, 2003 (Fitz-Gerald 2003).
Elite talent is often wasted when not utilized effectively. Complacency is the common foil of those too self-aware about their abilities, perhaps because they overestimate the degree to which they can compensate for their lack of effort with skill. The apathy and inconsistency within his game while he represented Vancouver continued to reveal themselves while he donned the Leafs' colors (Campbell 2001). These were, at least, the observations of the Toronto Star's Ken Campbell, who wrote, "Mogilny is exhibiting some of the same traits that made him so difficult to figure out when he played for the Canucks. His penchant for being dominant one game and invisible the next has emerged early in his tenure with the Leafs. Mogilny still leads the team in goals with four, but that total was amassed in two games. He was brilliant in his two-goal performance against the Mighty Ducks last week, but has just four shots in three games since" (Campbell 2001).
Once more, inconsistency plagued Mogilny's tenure with his team, and by 2004 the Toronto media were all aware of Mogilny's witty, aloof, inaccessible personality whenever hockey was the topic of discussion. A hip injury required major surgery and certainly had an effect on his performance, but his chapter in Toronto was a story that had been written about him in several different cities by different groups of people.
"What frustration?... I don't have a frustration... I'm smiling. I'm real happy. We are a very happy bunch in here. Everything is great... [Last year] was just a couple lucky goals here and there, an empty-net goal -- a good hip -- that helped... my quickness was gone a long time ago... Why blame the hip?... I mean goals, they are not everything in the world... You just go out there and work hard... There are a lots of things you can do to help this team" - Alexander Mogilny, 2004 (O'Connor 2004).
Joe O'Connor of the National Post reiterated what so many others had said about Mogilny in the past, that "everything isn't great for Mogilny. His hands, which can be as quick as his tongue when he is in a position to score, have been deadly silent for the Leafs... his offence has all but abandoned him now. The winger has just one goal... and one assist to show for nine playoff games" (O'Connor 2004). It was at this point, however, that there would be no on-ice rejuvenation. An arthritic hip spelled the end of Mogilny's career; he missed 45 games in 2002-03 due to hip complications, then played only 37 regular season games in 2003-04 and underwent two surgeries that year (Woods 2004). A brief comeback in 2005-06 with the New Jersey Devils was cut short by Lou Lamoriello's decision to healthy scratch Mogilny and then waive him -- the move was determined to be "strictly a personnel decision;" Mogilny had signed a two-year, $7 million deal with the team (The Globe and Mail, Jan. 2006). He finished his career in the AHL that season, and then was deemed unable to continue his career the following September as a result of his arthritic hip (The Globe and Mail, Sept. 2006).
Alexander Mogilny became eligible for induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 2009, three years after his retirement. His career, defined by great heights and successes, was also marred by a cloud of inconsistency and an underwhelming level of intensity. Substandard performances were the norm between moments of astonishing excellence. His rebellious behavior and later his sense of self-awareness sometimes posed challenges for those around him. Although he was a star, he was as high-maintenance a player as any; only his rare, otherworldly talent and intimidating presence in a fraction of his games kept him from being dismissed as quickly as anybody else may have been had they tried to behave as he did. He had high peaks with each of his teams -- 76 goals, 127 point with Buffalo (1992-93); 55 goals, 107 points with Vancouver (1995-96); 43 goals, 83 points with New Jersey (2000-01); 33 goals, 79 points with Toronto (2002-03). There may be executives and figures of influence in important hockey circles who do not respect Mogilny in spite of his individual accolades. Politics may be at play here, as his unconventional, confrontational, juvenile personality certainly generated friction at times; there is an opposite end to this dynamic, however, as those who currently deny him a place in the Hall may similarly be considered immature for potentially neglecting him out of spite. As was once the case with Lindros, perhaps his behavior as a young man remains the blockade between him as an older gentleman and his enshrinement in the Hall. Time reconciles differences and frequently leads to forgiveness over youthful inexperience and misguided behavior. Neither a young man's lack of wisdom, nor his personal struggles should be the hurdles that prevent him from being bestowed the honors that he deserves for his achievements. He is now 50 years old, yet his wait continues. Alexander Mogilny, a six-time NHL All-Star, Triple Gold Club member, Stanley Cup champion, NHL goal-scoring leader and Lady Byng Trophy winner, and scorer of 473 goals, 1032 points in the NHL, has probably done enough to be considered for a place in the Hockey Hall of Fame. The only regret is that he could have done far more with his gifts. Immaturity, in one form or another, has pushed him to the fringes, keeping him on the outside when he was talented enough and capable enough to be in.

Works Cited:
"A New Jersey for Mogilny: Final Edition]." Standard - Freeholder, Jul 04, 2001, pp. 11 / FRONT.
"A Tired Mogilny Joins New Jersey: Final Edition]." Alaska Highway News, Mar 16, 2000, pp. 7.
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Campbell, Ken. "Vancouver Holds no Special Place for Mogilny ; Leafs Winger Recalls Dark Times with Canucks: Ontario Edition]." Toronto Star, Oct 18, 2001, pp. C02.
Fisher, Red. "Mogilny, Sabres Feud Over $140,000 Salary: FINAL Edition]." The Gazette, Oct 19, 1991, pp. D3.
Fisher, Red. "That Little Devil: Mogilny Ends Slump as New Jersey Moves One Win Away from Cup; Devils 4 Avalanche 1: Final Edition]." The Gazette, Jun 05, 2001, pp. E1 / BREAK.
Fitz-Gerald, Sean. "Leafs' Mogilny More Artist than Magician: Toronto Edition]." National Post, Feb 27, 2003, pp. S4.
Kerr, Grant. "Calibre of European Players Emphasizes Needs for Canada." The Globe and Mail, Jan 06, 1989.
Kerr, Grant. "Canucks Sit and Wait for Lethargic Mogilny to Break Out." The Globe and Mail, Oct 20, 1998.
Kerr, Grant. "Mogilny no Longer a Shooting Star Canuck Hopes Hinge on Struggling Winger." The Globe and Mail, Feb 20, 1999.
Hickey, Pat. "Sabres Trade Mogilny to Canucks: FINAL Edition]." The Gazette, Jul 09, 1995.
MacIntyre, Iain. "HAPPY HOLDOUT: Mogilny Hangs Loose in Malibu: Canucks' Free Agent Forward ` Loving Life' while Awaiting a New Contract.: FINAL Edition]." The Vancouver Sun, Sep 13, 1997.
MacIntyre, Iain. "Mogilny just Wants to Win: Happiness is a Winning Season Says Canuck Alexander Mogilny as Free Agency Looms July 1.: FINAL Edition]." The Vancouver Sun, Apr 14, 1997.
MacINTYRE, IAIN. "MOGILNY: To Igor Larionov He's Magic, to Slava Fetisov He's a Brother, to the Canucks He's a Godsend: Alexander Mogilny found Peace of Mind when He Learned He could Go Home again: MOGILNY: Grappled with an Identity Problem After Defecting: FINAL Edition]." The Vancouver Sun, Dec 16, 1995.
MacIntyre, Iain. "Mogilny's been Best Canuck Forward during the Freefall: FINAL Edition]." The Vancouver Sun, Feb 27, 1997.
"Maple Leafs Hand Mogilny New Five-Year Contract: Final Edition]." Nanaimo Daily News, Jul 04, 2001, pp. B2.
Matheson, Jim. "No Takers Calling for Waived Klima; Mogilny Unhappy in Buffalo; (Little Interest Showing in Klima; Mogilny Unhappy in Buffalo Early): Final Edition]." Edmonton Journal, Oct 18, 1991, pp. H2.
Mayoh, Rick. "Rising Star Mogilny Merits Captaincy: Final Edition]." The Ottawa Citizen, Nov 23, 1993, pp. C2.
"MOGILNY DROPPED." The Globe and Mail, Jan 05, 2006.
"Mogilny Presents a Problem for Devils." The Globe and Mail, Sep 25, 2006.
"Mogilny Takes Heat for Drought: New Jersey Sniper Isn't Worried about Lack of Scoring: Final Edition]." Expositor, May 31, 2001, pp. B3.
O'Connor, Joe. "But Seriously, Leafs Need Mogilny Mojo: National Edition]." National Post, Apr 28, 2004, pp. S3.
Rud, Jeff. "The Other Side of Alex: Final Edition]." Times - Colonist, Sep 10, 1999, pp. C9.
Pap, Elliott. "Mogilny just Wants to Win : With Bure Absent at Training Camp, His Fellow Russian is Now in the Spotlight.: Final Edition]." The Vancouver Sun, Sep 14, 1998, pp. C1 / FRONT.
SHOALTS, DAVID. "Mogilny's Flying Fear Gets Professional Look." The Globe and Mail, Feb 17, 1990.
Sicinski, Larry. "Alexander Hardly the Great: While some Soviets Find Success, Mogilny Still a Puzzle: Final Edition]." The Hamilton Spectator, Nov 12, 1991, pp. C7.
"SPORT IN BRIEF Mogilny Suspended." The Globe and Mail, Jan 23, 1992.
"To Tell the Truth, the Whole Truth...; Mogilny Gets Day in Court; Sabre Star Feared for His Life in Extortion Attempt: FINAL Edition]." The Gazette, Mar 31, 1994, pp. E1/BREAK.
Willes, Ed. "Jersey Fits to a Tee: But Mogilny Hasn't Played a Round of Golf in His New Home: Final Edition]." The Province, May 30, 2000, pp. A48 / FRONT.
submitted by CambieKev to hockey [link] [comments]


2019.11.18 17:29 TheNormalAlternative Best Rock / Punk / Alternative / Indie / Metal shows in NYC (week of 11/18)

Another incredible week to catch a concert in the City. Highlights include Angel Olsen (x3), Bethlehem Steel/Lightning Bug/Sinai Vessel, Billy Corgan (x3), Boston ManoMicrowave/Heart Attack Man, Crumb (x2), Jukebox the Ghost, Matt & Kim, Ringo DeathstarBlushing, Tennis System, Titus Andronicus, Tool/Killing Joke and Wild Nothing.
Double Asterisks (**) signal Top Recommendations.

Monday, November 18
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) Jeanines / Las Nubes / Joudy / Psycho Cat
Baby's All Right (Williamsburg) Blood / Tredicdi Bacci / Cindy Cane / Poppies
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) **Moon Kissed / Drug Couple (release show) / Color Tongue / Atlas Engine
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) Billy Corgan (acoustic) (SOLD OUT)
The Kingsland (Greenpoint) Daikaju / You Bred Raptors?
Tuesday, November 19
Venue Lineup
Arlene's Grocery (LES) Deep Wim / eCOCOBOYS / Strange Neighbors
Barclays Center (Downtown Brooklyn) **Tool / Killing Joke
Bowery Ballroom (Bowery) Skegss / Le Shiv / GYMSHORTS
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) Electric Wizard / Midnight
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) Billy Corgan (acoustic) (SOLD OUT)
Saint Vitus (Greenpoint) **Ringo Deathstarr / Blushing / Rosegarden Funeral Party / Lorelei K

Wednesday, November 20
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) The Planes / Joyce / Rudy Stone
Elsewhere (East Williamsburg) **Wild Nothing / Kate Bollinger / Office Culture
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) Billy Corgan (acoustic) (SOLD OUT)
Rough Trade NYC (Williamsburg) Tennis System / DAISY / Mevius

Thursday, November 21
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) REALWORLD / Bueno / Consumables
Berlin Under A (East Village) Rosegarden Funeral Party / Clone / Lorelei K
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) Vanessa Silberman / Nihiloceros / Top Nachos / Sharkswimmer
Brooklyn Bazaar (Greenpoint) **Weatherbox / The Hotelier (solo) / The Obsessives / Sal Show
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) **Angel Olsen / Zsela (SOLD OUT)
Carmelo's (Bushwick) The Advertisers / Coco Verde / Tower / CT Hustle and the Muscle
The Dance (NoHo) Donzii / Sandy Smiles / Gesserit
Elsewhere (East Williamsburg) High on Fire / Power Trip / Devil Master / Creeping Death
The Footlight (Ridgewood) Art at the Footlight feat. Pocket Protector / Recently Single / Shelter Dogs
Gramercy Theatre (Gramercy) ** Boston Manor / Microwave / Heart Attack Man / Selfish Things
Market Hotel (Bushwick) **BOYTOY / Future Punx / Brower / Gustaf
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Williamsburg) Tiny Moving Parts / Fredo Disco / Standards
Rough Trade NYC (Williamsburg) Beach Bunny / Another Michael / MICHELLE (SOLD OUT)
Rubulad (Bushwick) Lily & Horn Horse / Godcaster / Zach Phillips / Carol / Salt People
The Sultan Room (Bushwick) Purr / Dan English / Water From Your Eyes
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) **Mean Siders (release show) / Daddies / QWAM / Hello Mary

Friday, November 22
Venue Lineup
The Broadway (Bed-Stuy) 88 Palms / HNRY FLWR / Safer (release show)
Brooklyn Bazaar (Greenpoint) Shimmer (release show) / Sunk Heaven / Sibling / Dreamcrusher
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) **Angel Olsen / Vagabon (SOLD OUT)
Bushwick Public House (Bushwick) Foxtails / Stay Inside / Ultra Deluxe / LMI / Hysteria
The Gutter (Williamsburg) Atlas Engine / Jelly Kelly / Sooner
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Williamsburg) **Crumb / Divino Nino / Shormey (SOLD OUT)
Rockwood Music Hall (LES) Anya Marina
Rough Trade NYC (Williamsburg) Pip Blom / The Britanys

Saturday, November 23
Venue Lineup
ALPHAVILLE (Bushwick) **True Dreams (release show) / Wooing / Power Snap / Fraidycat (reunion show)
Bowery Ballroom (Bowery) **Titus Andronicus / Partner
Brooklyn Bazaar (Greenpoint) Nobunny / Native Sun / Bipolar
Brooklyn Steel (East Williamsburg) Angel Olsen / Madi Diaz (SOLD OUT)
The Gutter (Williamsburg) **Maneka / Moist Boy / Pest (debut show) / Cold Dice
International Sanitation Facility (Bed-Stuy) (house show) Bueno / Anna Altman / The Regrets / Zack.
Market Hotel (Bushwick) Black Marble / Automatic
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Williamsburg) **Crumb / Divino Nino / Shormey (SOLD OUT)
Our Wicked Lady (East Williamsburg) Mount Sharp / Onesie / Catty
Rodrigue's Coffee House (Fordham) **Control Top / Weeping Icon / Russian Baths
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) (early show) Macseal (release show) / I'm Glad It's You / Yeah is What We Have
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) (late show) Grun Wasser / Dreamcrusher
Union Pool (Williamsburg) N0V3L / Gustaf

Sunday, November 24
Venue Lineup
Arlene's Grocery Best Baby / Freee $$$ / Mt. Feral / Real Blood
C'mon Everybody (Bed-Stuy) **Jukebox the Ghost / Chris Cubeta Band / Shapes in Calgary
Terminal 5 (Hell's Kitchen) Matt and Kim / The Frights
Trans-Pecos (Ridgewood) **Bethlehem Steel / Lightning Bug / Sinai Vessel / Ben Seretan

As always, this isn't meant to be a comprehensive list, just my selection of rock shows I personally think are worth checking out. It's not my intent to slight any band or any fan. Just trying to spread the information to help guide people and fill up those back rooms! Think there's a show missing from this list? Feel free to mention it in the comments
submitted by TheNormalAlternative to NYCConcerts [link] [comments]


2019.10.05 07:54 Eiyran Anyone know a family doctor who's accepting new patients and is ... nice?

I just had a really rough appointment with a doctor at a clinic. I have some pretty severe anxiety around doctors, so going was a major struggle for me, but I have some pretty significant health issues that I've been putting off for too long. She basically spent the entire appointment telling me that I was stupid for going to a clinic and that I should have gone to my family doctor (which I repeatedly told her I don't have one) instead, and that if you're just a walk in patient, the doctor 'doesn't care about you'. She also acted like I was a giant idiot for not understanding how all this process worked in the first place.... oh, and then she went on to tell me how her real passion is pediatrics and women's medicine (I'm a guy) and how she doesn't like general practice or taking guy patients, which... why the hell are you working as a family doctor and taking walk ins, lady?
It was basically every single thing I worried would happen if I saw a doctor, so I left feeling pretty terrible and discouraged, and I definitely don't want to go back to the same place again.... but I still have some very real issues I need help with. Only now, I'm more anxious than ever about just... randomly trying a new doctor, after that experience. So I'm hoping one of you fine people might know where I could turn.
I'm not fussy as long as they're nice and welcoming, though it'd be nice if they were somewhere transit accessible, near north-central Calgary (I live pretty close to Center and 16th Ave), but if they're really great I'd be willing to travel.
submitted by Eiyran to Calgary [link] [comments]


2019.08.21 19:19 TheHoosierExpress Duncan Discussion's "Masterlist of Prank Call Victims" (Part 2)

This is the original version of Duncan Discussion's "Masterlist of Prank Call Victims" which was a complete listing of victim soundboard prank calls. I can't access the current list but I'll be updating it as I go. I've also been using the masterlist to create an up to date list for existing victim soundboards. The links are supposed to display the most recent calls made on YouTube.
Many victim soundboards (and the original calls) no longer exist, are privately held by a few select pranksters, or were never created.
Edit: I reached the character limit while updating the list so I had to split this up into two parts
  1. Celebrity Soundboard-era (2000-2007) & Duncan-era (2007-2011)
  2. Bail Bondsman-era (2011-2015) & California crook-era (2016-)

Bail Bondsman-era (2011-2015)

California crook-era (2016-)

submitted by TheHoosierExpress to soundboardpranks [link] [comments]


2019.08.07 21:00 DangerDylan [Wednesday, 07. August]

World News

Venezuela, Uruguay, Japan warn citizens about traveling to the US because of mass shootings
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Domino's is stockpiling pizza ingredients to protect against a disorderly Brexit
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Hong Kong police tear skirt, underwear off female protester, sparking public wrath
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All news, US and international.

Boy Scouts of America have a 'pedophile epidemic' and are hiding hundreds in its ranks, lawyers claim
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Nurse charged with scamming holocaust survivor out of life savings
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Florida governor orders state criminal probe into Jeffrey Epstein case
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Science

Researchers reveal AI weaknesses by developing more than 1,200 questions that, while easy for people to answer, stump the best computer answering systems today. The system that learns to master these questions will have a better understanding of language than any system currently in existence.
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Marijuana legalization reduces opioid deaths, according to a new study, which found that legalization and access to recreational marijuana reduced annual opioid mortality in the range of 20% to 35%, with particularly pronounced effects for synthetic opioids.
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An estimated one in 300 people may have genes that make them more likely to wake up extremely early: between three and five in the morning. According to a new study (n=2,422) those genes may run in families.
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/Technology

A Crashed Israeli Spacecraft Spilled Tardigrades on the Moon
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It’s time for tighter regulation of how Facebook and Google use our data - Big tech’s power has reached a tipping point. Governments must set some ground rules
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Bitcoin expert scams a scammer, donates the money to charity
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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

University Professor: Men Don't Recycle Because They Don't Want People Thinking They're Gay
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Turkmenistan's leader does doughnuts next to flaming crater to prove he's not dead
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Doctors Now Have To Warn Women Not To Stick Wasp Nests In Their Lady Parts
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Ask Reddit...

What part of your Personality do you Fake?
Comments
You’ve got the Midas touch but only for one specific object. What do you pick that keeps you rich but doesn’t overly inconvenience your life?
Comments
What creepypasta scared you so much it wouldn't stop bothering you?
Comments

Sysadmin

I just wrote my first SQL query from scratch with multiple JOINs. I feel like a wizard
Comments
What all the stuff in email headers means—and how to sniff out spoofing
Comments
CEO Phishing Question: How did they get a hold of this information?
Comments

Microsoft SQL Server

I think I'm overcomplicating this.
Comments
EncryptByKey vs EncryptByPassphrase - I'm having trouble seeing why the former is PCI compliant while the latter is not.
Comments
How to detect a distributed availability group forwarder
Comments

PowerShell

Get-UserChoice - a wrapper around $host.ui.PromptForChoice
Comments
VM build script
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PSCrowdstrike: Powershell Module for Crowdstrike API
Comments

Functional 3D Printing

Bill weight for an old register at where I work
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Hey guys we made a 3d printed scalable pen plotter. If you want to check it I'll leave the link in the comments!
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This toothpaste squeezer I found on thingiverse
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Data Is Beautiful

[OC] We created a tool to visualise direct flights over weather statistics for a given month
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Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's 2018-19 Premier League shot map [OC]
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[OC] 2019 AP Exam Score Distributions
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Today I Learned (TIL)

TIL After an internet vote for a new middle name, Macaulay Culkin legally changed his name to Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin.
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TIL that the opening track to Slipknot’s album “Iowa” titled “515” wasn’t just random screaming. Sid Wilson was having an emotional breakdown in the studio because he wasn’t able to make it home to tell his grandfather goodbye before he died.
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TIL that when roach poisons claim to kill the whole nest, it's not because roaches share food with others. Roaches are cannibals and a single dose of poison can often be eaten many times and still be deadly.
Comments Link

So many books, so little time

I just read Player Piano and now i hate my job.
Comments
I’m J. Michael Straczynski, AKA JMS and we're having an AMA to commemorate the release of my autobiography Becoming Superman we're here to have a freewheeling back-and-forth on the TV series movies and comic books I've worked on.
Comments
Unpopular Opinions on the Classics
Comments

OldSchoolCool: History's cool kids, looking fantastic

My Great-Grandfather standing at the top of the Washington Monument. (1934)
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Rollerskating in California, 1979.
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My mom in 1984, 20 years old
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aviation

The finger prints on the f35 touch screen display.
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F-22 turning on a dime at oshkosh airventure last week
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A very rare and old Boeing 727-100, with only 4 in operation in the whole world
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Reddit Pics

She's in someone's locket, 1940s.
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Protector of the Ball
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Dutch police save dog from hot car
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.gifs - funny, animated gifs for your viewing pleasure

Electrolytic tig weld cleaning
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Excuse me, you need to move
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Nicest Merge Ever.
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A subreddit for cute and cuddly pictures

Surprising daughter with a kitten.
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I reserved this username for anticipation for when I finally got a dog and last weekend it happened! Everyone, meet Toast!
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Me when I smelled durian.
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submitted by DangerDylan to DangerDylanTLDR [link] [comments]


2019.08.01 04:32 JozefT [Tournament Report] 1st Place at Face to Face Games Open Series in Lethbridge - Dredge

Disclaimer: I’ve never done a tournament report before so if you hate this just remember that I never forced you to read it. I take pretty bad notes and often don’t remember exactly what lines of play took place in each game/match.
Alright, so you might be asking yourself why now? Well a few friends mentioned they would be interested in reading it, so here we are. Feel free to blame them if you find I wasted your time.
Since GP Calgary at the end of March I haven’t been playing much magic, and when I did, I wasn’t taking it very seriously. I was burned out and had other things going on in my life that required my attention. I have recently moved away from Lethbridge, so I really wanted to attend this tournament to see people. Because of all this, I wasn’t taking this tournament too seriously going into it.
The format has had a huge influx of powerful cards since that GP thanks to War and MH1. Thanks to this, I didn’t have a great grasp on the format and I didn’t have access to lots of these new powerful cards. I had the core for both UR Bird and Dredge. After trying each one out by playing garage MTG with the boys I figured I’d play dredge, naively thinking grave hate would be down thanks to the banning of bridge from below (narrator: it was not).
Deck list:
Mainboard (60)
Lands (19)
7x Red Fetches 2x Mountain 2x Stomping Ground 2x Blood Crypt 3x Copperline Gorge 1x Gemstone Mine 1x Blast Zone 1x Forgotten Cave
Creatures (17)
4x Bloodghast 4x Narcomoeba 3x Prized Amalgam 1x Hogaak, Arisen Necropolis 4x Stinkweed Imp 1x Golgari Thug
Spells (20)
2x Conflagrate 4x Creeping Chill 4x Life from the Loam 2x Darkblast 4x Faithless Looting 4x Cathartic Reunion
Artifact (4)
4x Shriekhorn
Sideboard (15)
4x Nature’s Claim 1x Assassin’s Trophy 3x Lightning Axe 2x Shenanigans 1x Ancient Grudge 4x Leyline of the Void
Notes on the deck list:
The fetches I played were as follows, but could be any combination of red fetch lands --> 2x scalding tarn, 2x arid mesa, 2x wooded foothills, 1x bloodstained mire.
I like having the one of rainbow land to hard cast narcos and amalgams when you need to, plus it taps for all the jund colours. Some people prefer mana confluence in this spot, I’ve always liked the mine a little bit better as it doesn’t hurt us which can be relevant in races. If you happen to tap the mine enough to lose it, you’re probably late enough in the game that you have access to loam, if not something is going bad.
The one of blast zone was absolutely incredible when I was playing this deck with the boys in the garage. It’s a mainboard card that can get rid of hate or problem cards that can be recurred thanks to the power of loam. I can’t imagine playing the deck without this card.
The one of forgotten cave, wow. I’ve long thought dredge could handle being played with 18 lands and would often side one out and this card is just perfect as the 19th land. Instant speed dredging for a single mana that can be recurred with loam is just insane. This might be the biggest upgrade to the deck even over the hog.
Most of the list is pretty stock, one amalgam was cut as a payoff to make room for the one of hog. I’ve seen and heard people cutting different things to make room for him but I think if you’re adding another payoff you need to take out a payoff, keep the deck as consistent as possible game one.
One of the changes I made the day of the tournament was -1 thug +1 darkblast. I was already playing the list with one thug and two blasts as I couldn’t find the other thug in my collection and was planning on grabbing one at the venue. But, after seeing all the hog vine lists at the MC my good friend, Tom, mentioned “hey maybe the extra darkblast isn’t so bad with all the x/1s that hogaak deck runs” I agreed, so the second darkblast stayed.
Now, I know being able to dredge thug and play him on two in order to cast the hog man is a great line, but it really doesn’t come up much, at least not in this build. The dredge hog decks are a much different story and something I have zero experience with. Speaking of the dredge hog decks I was very close to last second swapping over to one of those lists but decided to stick on dredge because I knew the ins and outs of mulliganing with regular dredge like the back of my hand. Let me tell you, I am so happy I made that decision because I mulled about a thousand times this tournament. London mull is very strong so don’t keep medium sevens or even sixes, you can do better, no joke. I’ve never mulliganed more in a tournament ever.
The next few changes came in the sideboard. All the hog vine decks made me cut the one of thoughtseize for the fourth leyline and all the leylines at the MC made me cut the one of abrupt decay for the one of assassin’s trophy in order to have another way to hit ‘em. Last I cut the second grudge for the second shenanigans.
Thank you to SodekMTG for the great dredge content and the list that this one started as.
Feel free to ask any questions about the deck list and I’ll do my best to give a decently informed answer.
NOTE: I did not have a sideboard guide and this tournament report is already very long. I’d be (mostly) guessing what I brought in and took out so if you’re curious about a specific MU just ask.
On to the matches! There was ~100 players at the event, so we had seven rounds of swiss before the top 8 cut.
Round 1 vs. UR Control
I lose the die roll, opponent takes the play and I being nervous about playing a competitive event without much practice go to shuffle my opponents freshly sleeved deck and make it splatter all over the place. A judge was called, no penalties were given but a small time extension was (huge shout out and thank you to my opponent for being really kind about it, you friggen rock man). We both mull to 6. He started the game with a scalding tarn finding an island and casting an opt at the end of my first turn making me think he was on UR bird. I started the game with a looting pitching dredger and ghast. The most memorable play was him dropping a blood moon on turn 3. According to my life total pad he took 1 from the fetch, then 3 from a chill followed by 2 from a ghast attack putting him to 14. He then took another 3 from chill going to 11, I used the flashback on conflagrate pitching 6 putting him on 5. Dropped a land and brought back a second ghast now with haste, attacked for 4, he drew and we were on to game 2.
Game 2 brought a couple surprises and some embarrassing plays. I got to see an early hallowed fountain here, making me very curious about my opponents deck after seeing an early blood moon game 1. I later found out he was splashing white only for timely reinforcements. Anyways, this game featured a strong anger of the gods followed by a Japanese alt art ashiok which I had to call a judge over to ask to see the card (remember I have been mostly out of mtg lately). I see ashioks curse and go “ah okay so fetches won’t work” opponent confirms. We continue to play, he causes me to mill and exile my yard putting me in an almost unwinnable spot. Go to my turn where I immediately go “play a fetch and find a shock” to which my opponent responds “you can fetch but you can’t search”. I laugh at myself and say go. The game ends shortly after in his favour.
Game 3
This game went on pretty long, and luckily for me he never found grave hate even through multiple narset activations. Referring back to my life pad to remember how damage happened. I found double chill putting my opponent to 14. From there it looks like I attacked for 4 using two ghasts. He fetched and shocked for fountain, going to 9 and then back up to 15, I believe I was angered previously taking away my board meaning he did not get the tokens. From 15 he fetched to 14 and then conceded at 14. I’m assuming I had a very powerful turn putting a lot of power on the board and he didn’t have any answers.
1-0 (2-1)
Round 2 vs. Bant Infect
I was expecting this opponent to be on death shadow as I’ve seen him running GDS fully foiled at past events. I later found out Infect is his original love, GDS was more of a mistress.
Again, I lose the die roll. He keeps, I mull. I was very surprised to see turn one glisner elf and thinking I would be dead way before he would be. I played tarn and passed. He dropped a hierarch and swung for 2 infect which I had no choice but to take. I don’t remember everything that happened but I certainly dredged into at least a chill and a narco off a turn 2 cathartic. I chumped the glisner elf and then my opponent played out a blighted agent. On my turn 3 I played a second cathartic dredging a bunch, putting him to 12 with a second chill (plus and earlier shock by my opponent). I followed that up by playing a land to return ghasts/trigger amalgams and cast my hog man while holding up a darkblast. My opponent had no answer and we were off to game 2 (phew).
Game 2 he started the game off with a fetch/shock for a (step)mother of runes (whatever the ½ is called) turn one showing me the white in the deck for the first time. I can’t remember what I did next but he followed up his turn 1 play with a turn 2 fetch/shock play glisner elf and noble hierarch. On my turn two I end up dredging at least a couple narcos and a chill putting my opponent down to 11. My opponent played a inkmoth nexus and then a scale up on his elf and tapped his mother to get through my narcos, I had never seen scale up until this moment and my eyes went very wide. Luckily for me my opponent had no other pump putting me to 7 poison with one card in hand that I assumed must not be great. On my turn 3 I ended up casting a conflagrate dealing one to elf, noble, 2 to mother and 2 to my opponent and attacked with a ghast and an amalgam to put my opponent to 4 holding back my double narcos to block the inkmoth. My opponent drew, revealing a land and the card he drew for turn spell pierce which would have been great a turn sooner but didn’t help him here. I’m 2-0!
2-0 (4-1)
Round 3 vs. Bant Value Town
In this match I made the biggest mistake I’ve ever made playing magic which brought me very close to dropping from the event.
I won a die roll! Unfortunately, that’s where my good fortune starts and ends during this round. I mull to 4 after not seeing a single land in any of my first three looks. I ended up getting my opponent to 11 but the only damage my deck dealt was a single creeping chill. The rest was fetches and shock lands. Every time I thought I might have a play to come back I was immediately met with a spell queller. My huge mistake was flashing back a faithless looting and dredging 3 times instead of 2. Please keep in mind I’m still nervous as hell about playing comp rel and I was soooo far out of this game that I was kind of on auto pilot. I went to resolve triggers my opponent sat there for a while, eventually I asked what was up and he asked, “did you dredge three times?”. I immediately recognized I had made this mistake and called a judge over. After talking to the judge and the judge taking time to access the situation away from table, they were going to rewind the last dredge. At this point I just felt terrible and asked if I could simply concede the game, no matter what happened this turn I was so dead. The judge said yes, and we were off to game 2. Huge thank you to my opponent for being such a great guy about it and being understanding because I was already beating myself enough in my head space. I appreciated your kindness if you’re reading this.
Game 2 I was super tilted at myself, kept a very mediocre 7 that I normally wouldn’t and proceeded to get run over by turn 2 RIP and knight of the reliquary paired with tireless tracker. At some point I claimed the RIP but could never find a dredger to get going. My final stand was trying to conflagrate my opponents two knights, but I only had enough to kill each of them if my opponent forgot he had a ghost quarter. He did not. I conceded the game.
After this match my good friend who I drove to the event with was there and I let him know what happened, luckily, he is a very level-headed guy and convinced me to keep playing everyone makes mistakes. Thank you, Tom, you rock man.
2-1 (4-3)
Round 4 vs. UW Tron Gifts
First off, this guy’s deck was friggen sweet.
I won the die roll. I played a shriekhorn and passed. My opponent led with a tron land. So, I’m thinking either mono G tron or E tron. Turn 2 I cast looting, using my life pad as reference it looks like I dredged into a chill and either 3 ghasts or 1 ghast, 1 narco, 1 amalgam because I attacked my opponent from 17 to 11 on my next turn. On my opponents second turn they cast an azorius signet, so I knew there was something different about this list. On top of the attack for 6 on my turn 3, I found a chill bringing him to 8 before passing. He had no good way to live or simply was not fast enough, and we were off to game 2.
Game 2 was similar enough in that I was just too fast for his deck to handle. Luckily for me he didn’t hit any of his grave hate and I dredged enough relevant cards to win. I found double chill, multiple ghasts, an amalgam and a narco early enough. He found a playset of azorius signets and tried to detention sphere my ghasts, luckily, I had kept a single darkblast in the deck and had it in hand I fetch, shocked and used it to kill the ghast he was targeting. On my turn I attacked him down to 8 and passed with too much of a board for him to compete with. That was the end of that.
3-1 (6-3)
Round 5 vs. Ponza
I lost the die roll, mulled opponent kept. They played turn one stomping ground arbor elf. I immediately thought Ponza was the deck because I don’t know what else plays arbor elf in modern. I had a double cathartic hand, so I played a scalding tarn and passed. My opponent played a forest and a turn 2 blood moon on the play. Luckily, I used cathartic, dredged a million and found triple creeping chill putting my opponent to 9 before passing. I don’t remember what my opponent’s third turn yielded but it wasn’t enough to stop such an explosive start out of dredge. My third turn I played a land and returned a couple of ghasts who were hasted thanks to my opponent’s life total, I attacked for 4 putting him to 5. I had a conflagrate awaiting my opponent in the yard and we were off to game 2 after his deck failed to give him any great plays after the turn 2 moon.
Game 2 we both mulliganed to 5 which is much better for dredge than, well, most decks. This game had more play to it, but I found a darkblast for my opponent’s x/1s. My opponent was getting low on life and cast a BBE saying ‘this is my last stand’ finding an ooze, but unfortunately (for him) no mana to activate it yet. During my next upkeep I cast darkblast on ooze, dredged it back to my hand and recast it to kill the ooze. I was at 21 and my opponent at 15 thanks to a chill and two fetches. I attacked with triple ghast, he blocked one going to 11 and I played a fetchland ignoring my ghast trigger before passing back. My opponent top decked another BBE immediately cast it finding an anger of the gods wiping away my double ghasts and at least one narco/amalgam that had entered on my last turn. My opponent attacked me down to 18. This game went on for a little bit longer thanks to the anger, but eventually I got through with a narco twice putting my opponent to 9 before hitting with an amalgam to 6 and finishing the game with a big conflagrate.
If you’re reading this, I hope you enjoyed your camping trip dude!
4-1 (8-3)
Round 6 vs. UR Taking Turns
Alright X-1, win and in time ladies and gentlemen! Unfortunately, I’m up against a player from Lethbridge. But at the same time, it was nice knowing if I did lose that a Lethbridge player would be moving on. (Remember I came to this tournament in large part to see a lot of the Lethbridge MTG community)
I lose the die roll and we both mulligan. My opponent starts with an island and passes. I play a faithless looting deciding to pitch double bloodghast or bloodghast and loam, I went with the later. My opponent casts an opt at the end of my turn and plays another island on his second turn before passing. I played a land, returning my ghasts and casting my loam which got remanded (am I about to get twined?). My opponent played a tarn and passed. I played a shriekhorn, activated it finding a narco, then played my third land and tried to loam again which resolved this time. I attacked with my two ghasts to bring my opponent to
Game 2 I mull, my opponent keeps. At some point in this game I get blown out by a ravenous trap after resolving a cathartic reunion and am simply to slow, my opponent takes a bunch of turns and beats me up with a snapcaster. I eventually concede at 9 life to save time in the round.
Game 3 I believe both my opponent and I mulled. Because I got blown out by rav trap game 2 I decide to play this one nice and slow. I had a turn one looting which didn’t find me a lot to work with as far as payoffs go but I could get a loam train going. My opponent fetched for an island and cast serum. Turn 2 I dredge imp to hand and could have used cathartic pitching loam and imp, but I decide to play it slow. I play my land for turn and return a single ghast, cast my loam and pass. My opponent fetches a second island down to 18 and plays a thing in the ice. I have the axe for it on my turn and attack for 2 then cast my loam and pass. My opponent is stuck on two mana unfortunately for him and goes digging. With access to lots of options at this point I try to put my opponent in a position to cast rav trap which I could follow up with a cathartic. But for now, I keep on loaming and attacking for 2 putting him at 14. Again, he cannot find a land but plays a second titi. On my 5th turn I flashback a looting in the yard, find a decent number of payoffs and my opponent takes this opportunity to cast his trap with triggers on the stack. I follow that up with a cathartic pitching loam imp and dredging a bunch finding a chill and some creatures. My opponent finally finds his third land and plays a narset finding a commandeer. I take a bunch of what looks like odd lines when I could go for a big conflagrate, but I know my opponent has commandeer so it’s hardly a great option. I attack with enough creatures to put my opponent on 7. The turn after I find a chill to put him on 4, attack with my creatures, some of which I’ve lost to bolt and snap, and get my opponent to 2, he fetches to one but fails to find anything relevant and concedes the game.
YES! I can draw into the top 8, I got there! I celebrate a bit with my friends and walk around the venue for a while talking to others who should be able to draw in.
5-1 (10-4)
Round 7 vs. Jund
Well, I’ve seen the standing, I cannot draw into the top 8 and must play. I get paired against a good friend from Lethbridge who let me stay with him at his parents place in Calgary during the GP. At least we’re playing for the one seed and at least one of us will get in.
I won the die roll, I mulled and I believe my opponent kept. I can’t remember the ins and outs of this game but according to my life pad it was a quick one. It looks like my opponent fetched, shocked, got chilled and then took a massive swing of 10 damage to 4, fetched and conceded to a wide board of ghasts and amalgams.
In game 2 I mulled to 5 and I believe my opponent to 6. He started off with a fetch shock inquisition taking my only enabler spell which I believe was a looting but I could be wrong. I played a land and passed, my opponent fetched and dropped a wrenn returning his fetch. I found a cathartic off the top, cast it pitching loam and imp, both of which get surgicalled leaving me with only a couple darkblasts and a thug as dredgers in the deck and my opponent at 12. He plays a goyf and starts beating my face with it, luckily it wasn’t too large because there wasn’t much in either yard. W6 eventually gets up to 7 counters I’m able to find a decent board by casting and dredging the darkblast and playing a land I had been sand bagging to return some ghasts. I hardcast conflagrate for 1 targeting w6. My opponent casts anger after attacking and luckily goyf is a 3/4 and I’m able to darkblast him leaving each board empty. I am able to dredge a narco and I still had a ghast in my yard I’m able to use to attack W6 down since my opponent was recurring that fetch land which has brought his life total to 10. My opponent can’t find much but uses W6 to pick off my board. I eventually find a chill, then another later and the conflagrate from earlier gets the job done.
6-1 (12-4) locked for the 1 seed. HYPE!
Before the Top 8 started we had to do the photo opp and all that, I jokingly said to my soon-to-be QF opponent he has the most busted deck, but I have lightning helix. The tournament organizers had trouble moving stuff around, so we had a decently long break before the top 8 got going which was nice.
Huge shout out to the Lethbridge community for putting 5 (counting myself even though I’ve recently moved away!) guys into the top 8 of their first facetoface event!
Quarter Finals vs. Hogaak Vine
As the 1 seed, I got to be on the play to start each game 1 from here on out. I mulled to 5 and my opponent kept 7. I led off with faithless looting pitching ghast and imp. My opponent played a bloodstained mire and passed. I dredged into another imp and a chill putting my opponent to 17. I then played a land, returned my ghast and cast a cathartic. I ended up dredging 15 cards and finding the rest of my chills putting my opponent to 8, remember when I made a joke about lightning helix? I went to attack my opponent fetched shocked and cast a lightning axe going to 5. The game was over, we were on to game 2.
This time we both had the pleasure of mulling to 5, I didn’t find a leyline, he did. By the time his second turn was done he had about 4000 power on the battlefield, when this deck rolls it rolls holy hot potatoes.
Game 3 was probably the most epic game of magic I’ve ever played, it was intense from start to finish. I spend a looooong time thinking about my opening 7, I apologize for taking so long and my opponent says, “don’t worry, this one’s hard too”. I eventually decide to keep it, as does my opponent. I look at him and go “you good?” he says yeah. I play my land, revealing that neither of us have a t0 leyline and he goes “all right!” and we both laugh knowing this is going to be a degenerate 7 vs 7 no leyline game. He gets down a second turn hogaak. On my third turn I think about it for a while but end up hard casting a stinkweed imp and using a ghast I returned from my land drop to convoke out my own hog man. We spent a few turns bumping hogaaks, with me on the defensive. At one point I flashback a conflagrate for 6, 1 to a ghast, 1 to a gravecrawler and 4 at carrion feeder. I wanted it to be hard for him to be able to recast his hogaak. His response to this conflagrate after thinking “yeah, that’s fine”. I’m thinking I just cost myself the game through some line I did not see. The next turn he tried to fetch a green mana source but later realized he had dredged them all over with a golgari thug, thankfully for me as he almost certainly had a satyr wayfinder in hand (I found out later he did). This game lasted a very long time with me continuing to be on the back foot in a classic who’s the beat down game. Eventually I found a couple creeping chills and started to get on the offensive forcing him to block with his hogaak. Thanks to my deck being dredge it was much easier for me to convoke out my hogaak using the full delve potential, he had to tap creatures. Eventually, with the help of a ton of ghasts, amalgams, narcos, and the big man himself I put my opponent down to 3. He sent up a few blockers with two cards in hand. I played out a ghast from hand, now with haste, and swung in with everything, he wasn’t holding anything, that was game. I can’t even explain how intense this game was, the amount of people watching it was crazy itself. Literally at one point in the middle of the game I thought to myself “this game must be absolutely crazy to watch”. I really would love to have seen this one recorded.
7-1 (14-5)
Semi Finals vs. Humans
Going into the semis I learned that everyone in the top 4 was a Lethbridge player, how cool is that?! I was a tad worried about this matchup because humans beat up on hogaak at the MC, but I also knew I had access to blast zone which is just back breaking for humans to play against. Especially when it’s recurring.
Game 1 we both take mulls down to 5, which I’m more that happy to do since an imp in the yard let’s me ‘draw’ 5 a turn. Unfortunately for my opponent, this wasn’t much of a game, he attacked a couple of times with a champion of the parish, but his hand was no where near explosive enough. I found a couple recurring creatures, a couple chills and was able to finish him off with a conflag.
Game 2 we both mull to 5 again, I’ve mulled to 5 4/5 games in the top 8 at this point but hey if he’s coming down with my I’ll gladly take it. He jokingly asks if I would like to draw game 2 to see some fresh 7s, which I didn’t even know you could do. The judge confirms we could, which is really cool, but I let him know I’m not interested. This game has a bit more play to it because of reflector mage and dentention sphere man but I had an early darkblast so he could never really get on the offensive and I eventually ran him over with hogaak and conflagrate killing his board.
On to the finals!
8-1 (16-5)
While sitting around waiting for my opponent, who was having a walk doing his thing before the big match, I was just sitting there looking around. I looked over to my right where Tom was sitting and before I could say anything to him this guy straight up tells me, “you haven’t won shit yet, one game at a time”. This got me zeroed in on the task at hand, and if it seems lame in text it certainly was not in person. Tom knows I can get in my own head and being reminded that each game is its own game regardless of what’s on the line helps me play much crisper magic.
The Finals vs. URb Bird
This is a spicy take on UR bird that he’s been championing since January. Check out the facetoface article for his decklist. Along with my last swiss opponent, my finals opponent was another ‘room mate’ of mine during the GP Calgary weekend. The three of us spent a lot of time together that weekend so it was awesome to see them killing it at this event.
Game 1 I mulled to 5 (yeah, I know) and I’m pretty sure my opponent also mulled at least once as well. I found a couple of chills early to put me to 23 and my opponent to 12 and I was thinking I was in the money until both my loams and my imps were taken from me thanks to surgical extractions one of which was payed with using life, putting my opponent to 10. I ended up finding a narco to bring back an amalgam. The narco swung in for a couple turns but the amalgam got traded with a phoenix. Eventually I returned multiple amalgams and my opponent couldn’t return enough phoenixs to be able to block enough to live knowing I had access to a conflagrate in my yard we were off to game 2.
Game 2 is kind of a blur for me (the whole finals is really) I can’t remember mulligan decisions by either player here. This game started off very similar to game one in that I had my opponent at 12 and myself at 23 thanks to a shock and a couple early chills on turn 2. My opponent fetched to 11 and cast an aria of flame turn 3 and passed. I couldn’t get much going as far as creatures go in this game, I flash backed a looting and passed the turn back. He played a TitI and started chipping away at my life total with aria. I tried to attack into the TitI but he knew I couldn’t finish off the thing so he simply blocked. I was having trouble finding dredgers this game, I cast a loam and passed the turn back. My opponent spun the wheels for a while flipping his thing, returning my ghast to hand and using the horror and aria to bring me down to 10, certainly dead if I passed back to him. Before we left his second main phase I cycled forgotten cave, my opponent, who was tapped out, paid 2 life to 9 in order to surgical my only dredger in the yard, making me lose my loams. I had to take a normal draw (I know, barf) finding, one of the two leylines I brought in which sucked as it was worthless here. Having my loams taken away took away the plan I had which was to loam back 3 lands, cast the conflag in my hand for 0 and flash it back for 8, return my ghast and attack for 2 putting my opponent to one. So either way I needed to find something which is why I chose to try dredging on my opponents turn to hit a second dredger and dredger again on my own turn hopefully finding something to get that extra point of damage. As it stood, I had conflag, ghast, leyline, and 4 lands in my hand. I drew for my turn and found a second ghast, I did some math in my head and quickly realized I had it. I cast conflag for 0, flashed it back for 5 to the face keeping just a land in hand, played the land, returned my ghasts and swung for 4. Game over, I won.
What a match, what a tournament, what a day.
9-1 (18-5)
I’m writing this on Microsoft word and it’s about 5700 words. If you took the time to read through this, thank you. If not, that’s cool too you don’t owe me a thing. Either way I hope you enjoyed!
Link to the face to face games article: http://magic.facetofacegames.com/open-recap-modern-in-lethbridge/
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